Favorites by the King...Well Stephen King

The main reason I'm writing this is because I recently started reading Under The Dome by Stephen King. Now I usually say King's stuff can be very hit or miss with me but eh, I'll admit it, I'm a bit of a fan for the big lug and I like his stuff, at least his early stuff. Right around the time when he was crapping out a new novel every five minutes was when I lost interest in him. But having now read about 200 pages in on Under The Dome, I got to admit that Mr. King has grasped me once again. Its a damn good book!

Its also over 1200 pages so don't expect a full review of this anytime soon from me. I'm a slow reader.

As I read Under The Dome I sense the impending film adaptation looming on the horizon. But to be honest I really hope they give this one the miniseries treatment on cable. This story needs all the gore and nasty atrocities to make it work otherwise the premise seems a bit silly. So a watered down version on CBS is just not going to cut it. Also, as a feature length film it would have to be pretty long to include the vast tapestry of characters that King has created so far. There is a lot going on with this book that I cannot see being crammed in a scant two hours. But then, if you have a good screenwriter anything is possible.

If any reps of Mr. King are reading this? Yeah, Under the Dome miniseries on HBO, baby! PERFECT!

...God I really hope this book doesn't start sucking.

...God I hope no reps of Stephen King reads my blog diarrhea.

In case any of you haven't noticed, I am not the writer on this team. The eloquence of the written word goes to Stac.

I just like writing the word penis a lot.

Penis.

I'm digressing.

Anyways, I started thinking back on some Stephen King movies I liked. I was first introduced to his work via film, being the movie whore that I am. From there, I checked out the books when I could. So here's a list of some of my favorite horror films from The King.

Just to note, I have NOT seen The Myst or Salem's Lot yet. They're on the list though..yes, I'm a bad bad horror fan.

10 -Creepshow

This was one of the first horror films I ever saw as a kid. I watched it mostly through my fingers. And I love to revisit it over and over as an adult. And while all the segments in this movie are awesome, my tops are The Crate and They're Creeping Up On You. I think They're Creeping Up On You is the soul reason why I freak out at bugs.

9 - Needful Things

I know a lot of people think this one is kinda lame but the reason its on my list is because Max Von Sydow gives the most awesome scenery chewing performance ever. Actually all the performances were examples of awesome scenery chewing. WAY melodramatic yet it works for this story...well it works for me. LOVE the camp!

8 - Christine

My asshole brother bought her back in September '57. That's when you got your new model year, in September. Brand-new, she was. She had the smell of a brand-new car. That's just about the finest smell in the world... 'cept maybe for pussy.

I do believe that is one of the greatest lines ever written.
Does anyone else think that early Stephen King and John Carpenter is a film match made in Heaven? Just me? Carpenter lends his testosterone (and vaguely homoerotic) tones to this film and it works beautifully. Christine is underrated. There is just something really creepy and sleazy about this movie that I love...the car is pretty sweet too.

7 -The Dead Zone

I really believe this is the most heart breaking and sad horror films in King's resume. A lot of that I'm sure is due to Christopher Walken's amazing performance and David Chronenberg's directing. Also, the scissors scene is really cringe inducing.

6 -Apt Pupil

Is this considered a horror film? I really believe it's a psychological one. This movie really got under my skin. The acting is fantastic, the story is unique and Ian McKellen's performance is brilliantly understated. The marching scene is completely terrifying and will probably be featured in an upcoming 10 Minutes of Terror. Who knew walking in place could be so scary?

5 - Pet Cemetery

Is he...is he going to kill that kid?...Oh yeah he went there. Pet Cemetery is one of those "Oh he TOTALLY WENT THERE!" films what with child killing, pet killing, creepy devil child returning, and especially the heel slicing. OH GOD THE HEEL SLICING! Mary Lambert directed this one and really did a great job balancing the horror with the emotion of the story making this both frightening and touching.

4 -1408

Once again, I drone on and on about 1408. I love this movie. Its an old fashioned haunted house tale. Its the Shining's bitchy little sister who's pissed she didn't get to see Twilight. Its creepy without the gore. And I'll shut up now since I've already waxed poetic about this movie several times in the past.

3 -Misery

Now THIS is Stephen King's work at its absolute purest and at its peak. Its a simple story about two people and the horror of obsession. This is a true actor's horror film. What I love is it's directed by Rob Reiner, a director who usually does more light hearted comedy like Spinal Tap and The Princess Bride. You can spot a little of his tongue in cheek humor in parts of the movie which really kept the film balanced. And Kathy Bates deserved that frigging Oscar, damn it! She ROCKED this film!

2 -Carrie

I believe Carrie was the first official movie adaptation of Stephen King's work. Believe me when I say overlook the serious 70's style of this film because the story and performances overcome that in the first few frames. A-list actors like Sissy Spacek and Piper Laurie made this one something special. And Carrie's revenge at the climax of the film makes this one of the most satisfying horror films I've ever seen.

1 -The Shining

Yes, I'm fully aware that Stephen King did not really like this adaptation. But Mr. King? This movie rocked. Sorry to contradict you, your book was great and it did deviate from it but COME ON!! Kubrick's detached direction style, the vast starkness of the setting, and the minimalist score created one of the most frightening films ever made. Its the Citizen Kane of horror films....But I still don't really get the bear suit blow job scene.

So those are my favorites! I have to admit, Under The Dome has made me want to go back and read more Stephen King. Its been years since I've read his work and now I'm renewed in my love for his weird stories.

Any suggestions?

Carrie Lets The Bitches Have It!

Okay, being both female and a huge nerd I have a soft spot for the movie Carrie. I just re-watched it the other day and I forgot how much I love it. I love everything from Piper Laurie's over the top warbling "THEY'RE ALL GONNA LAUGH AT YOU!" to the extremely dates 70's styles, to the split screen shots of the carnage.
Yeah its pretty over the top and its also extremely dated. I mean have you SEEN the hair in that movie? More white guy Afros than you can shake a pick at! Not to mention Piper Laurie chews the scenery like a rabid beaver. But Sissy Spacek's performance was so vulnerable and so raw that I felt for her. And honestly? I can't picture anyone but Piper Laurie as Mrs. White. That over the top madness is what made that woman truly terrifying.

"Momma only wants to comfort you...with this knife."

I work with the public. I have encountered MANY a Mrs. White in my day. Piper Laurie's performance is pretty damn spot on. She's like the one woman who came into my place of work and left me a DVD of her cult leader's diatribe to listen to. Then she came BACK to my place of work four weeks later to see if I was ready to join the fold.
When I said no I had to give her the DVD back.
talk about a cheap cult leader.
But I digress.


There's something extremely fulfilling about the movie. I'm pretty sure I'm not the only nerd in the horror community and I'm positive I'm not the only nerd on the interwebs. Yet I never had a Hellish high school experience. Actually high school wasn't half bad for me. I was a reasonably socially accepted gal. I had my small circle of pals. Overall? High school was just kind of there for me. Yet I get this overwhelming feeling of satisfaction when Creepy Carrie goes all wall eyed on the cool kids and sets them a blaze.

Yeah....we've all been there.

I think everyone of us has a bit of Carrie in them....okay that sounded dirty.
I mean to say that we all have that insecure awkward part of us that is terrified that everyone IS gonna laugh at us. And we all have that part of us that wants to turn them all into over cooked ballpark franks when they do. Obviously we don't because we're mildly socially adjusted and know that setting people on fire is bad. But dammit, there are days.

By the way. There is a musical version of Carrie. Seriously.

Oh, you thought I was kidding?!

It played on Broadway for about seven days back in the 80's and is known as the biggest Broadway flop in history. I researched this show feverishly back in college. One of my prize possessions is a bootleg audio tape copy of a performance.
There is a kill the pig ballet.
I KID YOU NOT!!!
Don't believe me? Here's the actual moment from the show.


Don't ask me silly questions like why is everyone costumed for gay porn, why they're leaping across a flaming pit, and why there are no pigs. This Is ART!!!
And here's some reviews!



Bastards don't know what they're talking about.
I would given a toe to have seen it on stage.
There REALLY needs to be more rock horror musicals.


I recommend to any gal who is enjoying the horror genre to check out the original Carrie if they haven't. And if you're a musical theater geek like me, hunt down clips of the musical on youtube.

Carrie needs a hug...and therapy. But honestly? I probably wouldn't have stopped her from setting Chris Hargensen on fire.
The bitch had it coming.