Bad Acting!

So its apparently Monsoon season here on the west coast. And do you know what I like to do on cold stormy days? I like to surf youtube and watch horrifically bad scenes from horror films.

Yes, whenever I am down or things feel gloomy,shitty acting always brightens my day....not that the gloomy weather is depressing me. I actually love it. I'm just looking for an excuse to watch some schlock.

AND I'm going to share it with you! WOOO!

Here are some of my favorite bad scenes from crappy horror films:

Silent Night Deadly Night 2 -Garbage Day!

We all know this one...It never ceases to baffle the hell out of me.

Troll 2 - OH MY GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOD!

Someone needs to give this kid an Oscar. Not only for his fine line delivery but also for how he doesn't even seem to realize there's a GIANT FLY on his forehead. That's real folks....Real.

Shark Attack 3 - I'm really wired..

Seriously...this WORKED? His cock must be huge.

The Wicker Man - Bear Suit Boxing.
Just...watch...seriously...This is pure awesome.

Grotesque - ACTING!!

I have no idea if this movie was a horror film. I assumed so because of the title and it has Linda Blair in it. Regardless, this clip has some of the best...and I mean THE BEST scenery chewing I have ever scene. You can see the veins popping out on the lead thug's neck. He looks like one of those squeezy stress toys every time he speaks. BEAUTIFUL!

And there it is...ENJOY!

Creepy Kitch Discussion Time! - Is Less More?

And its mainly discussion time because I STILL haven't had a chance to sit down and watch the two movies I need to review this week (Evil Things and Grace). But the blog looked lonely sitting all quiet like so I figured I'd keep it company.

So here's my question for the masses:
What is more scary to you; lots and lots of graphic gore or something that only suggests lots and lots of graphic gore? Now I'm not asking what is cooler and more entertaining to watch but what is more frightening.

As I've stated WAY too many times on the blog, I am a less is more type of gal. I really like it when a movie lets me imagine the horrible things rather than spoon feeding it to me. I have one Hell of an overactive imagination (which really does explain my acute sense of paranoia) and sometimes all I need is a hint, a word, a slight description, and I am off the deep end. Before I even saw it, the suggestion of what the movie Se7en was about gave me nightmares for days...then the movie gave me nightmares after I watched it simply because you never saw the kill scenes, just the aftermath.
And I will admit, just the poster for Funny Games freaks me the hell out. I haven't seen it yet and I"m not sure I could get through it. But the small blood stains on the white gloves gives me the willies BIG time.
Suggestions of gore always scare me most.

HAVING SAID THAT...
I can also say that certain moments of total gore can really freak me out as well. But it has to be something that I consider pretty realistic or "serious" for it to get to me. Campy over the top clown gore doesn't scare me. Is it cool? Oh Hells yes. But does it scare me? Nah, not really. But scenes that are wither realistic or full of complete object terror for the victim will get to me. For example the eye scene in Zombie II, the barbed wire room in Suspiria (wow, the Italians are fucked up), and ESPECIALLY a scene of the cop falling from the stair well in [REC] are all pretty gory, surprising, and terrifying to me. So gore, in a realistic manner can be pretty scary if portrayed in a specific way.

So, What are your thoughts? I'm always curious as to people's Point of View when it comes to what they find scary. Is less more in your book?

Happy New Year- A Challenge to the Creepy Kitch Girls? Perhaps?

The new year is upon us! More creepy shit awaits! And Stac has proved to us that she is indeed alive and NOT held up in a bunker wearing a ski mask and torturing men for money.
...or IS she?

Anyways, I figured I'd toss out this friendly challenge to my partner in crime, Stac...which I hope she will take...if for anything for comedy's sake. In an attempt to keep us short attention spanned ladies going on the blog front I've decided to do a horror film a week to review on the blog. This is mostly because I realized how many dang movies I've missed lately. And I'm hoping that maybe, JUST maybe Stac will be willing to join me on this.

I also want to put a proposal out to Stac...which I will probably regret as soon as I say it....I think we should pick out each other's films.

So Stac...you up to this?

Or will these be our faces after we deside this is a good idea?

Also, dear awesome readers from the interwebs, do you have any films you'd recommend to us? I'm looking for some good ones so lay 'em on me!

Also, after a little more discussion time, Stac and I may or may not have some interesting and exciting news about the future of this blog. It all depends on if we are slackers or not in 2010.

Happy New Year, All!

Cins Favorite Movies of the Decade - Part 5: The Final Six!

Okay! The final installment!
So Hang onto your seats folks! Here we go with the last six movies for the decade that I didn't think sucked!

YAAAY!

No particular order than Chronological:



Repo: The Genetic Opera


This movie combined two of my all time favorite things in the world, horror films and show tunes. And they said it couldn't be done! Okay, the horror musical is not something one would consider original but Repo took the idea, bumped it up a notch into edgy rock, and added a great post apocalyptic story. While I wouldn't consider the music to be Tony award winning it IS catchy and fun. Also, Sarah Brightman shoots hologram lasers out of her eyes....every movie should have that.





Doomsday

Would you consider this a horror film? I'm not sure really. But the gore is definitely on horror film level. Doomsday is a extremely over the top end of the world tale that dares to ask "What would happen if Soccer hooligans took over the world?" If does get a smidge slow when they get to the medieval castle but it makes up for it with the AWESOME car chase afterwards. Also, Eden Sinclair is one of the biggest bad ass women since Ripley from Aliens.





Zombie Strippers

Holy Shit...HOLY SHIT! Boobs and Clown Gore. That's really all this movie is about. But really, you don't need much else when a movie is called Zombie Strippers. That's all I have to say about that.





Drag Me To Hell

Sam Raimi shows that he STILL has it! Has Spiderman softened him? Naaaah. Drag me to Hell is vintage Raimi using comedy and horror to create a truly unique story, endearing characters, and the best Customer Service Nightmare Scenario ever. I equally laughed and screamed at this movie. This one is definitely going into the DVD collection.



30 Days of Night

Yes, I know what you're all thinking.."Cins, You wrote an article about how you were disappointed in this movie. WHY the Hell did you put it on your list?"
Well I have a very good reason..well in my mind a very good reason. I believe that if I didn't read the books first, I would have loved it! Alas, my main problem with this movie was the adaptation between the book and film. The film itself though its very well done. So if you venture towards this film, watch it first, then read the book later . Also, you have to admit, despite the failings of the adaptation story wise, the vampires were spot on and wonderful. Next to Near Dark, they are my favorite interpretation of vampires in a film. That alone earns this movie a spot on my list.



Zombieland


And to cap off my list of the decade...A ZOMBIE FILM! A fantastic zombie film at that! Zombieland may not be as good as Shaun of the Dead in my eyes but if definitely comes in a close second. This movie isn't so much about the zombies, but about the journey and growing each character takes. Not to mention, Woody Harrelson steals the show as Tallahassee. His performance is worth the ticket price alone.





So that's it! The list is done! Huzzah!

Of course, while researching my list I came to the crashing conclusion that I have missed out on a lot of great films out there. So I've made yet ANOTHER list so I can attempt to catch up on the great films that came out. I still need to see Grace, Dead Girl, The Orphanage, My Name is Bruce and TONS of other films.

Until then, folks, happy New Year! We'll see you in 2010!

Cins Favorite Movies of the Decade -Part 4: The New Blood

I am BACK from the holidays! And much fun was had by all!...I really have nothing more to say than that simply because my brain is still a little too fried to be witty.


Do have a quick shout out to the winners of the art work and prints for the Saw contest. Sorry I've been dragging my ass on getting your prizes to you! The holidays have been hectic. But I promise I will be sending them out VERY soon! I will contact you privately via email as soon as its in the mail!
I suck, I know. Thanks for being so patient guys!



Since I'm determined to get this damn list finished BEFORE 2010, here's part four of my overview of shit I liked in the last 10 years.


As usual, no real order than Chronological...very loose chronological:


AvP Requiem

If you've been reading this list from the begining, you can probably tell that I have a weakness for schlock. And the AvP movies don't get much schlockier. The first AvP was okay but that whole trying to make it pg-13 and make the Predator's heroic really didn't do it any favors. So when AvP returned and was rated R, I was very Gung Ho. No real plot, just lots of awesome carnage that the original films gave us. Yes, it did cheapen the profound awesomeness of the original Alien and Aliens but I'm willing to forgive that simply because this movie let an Alien lose in a nursery. It was like watching a fat tourist with a free pass to a Vegas buffet.


Grindhouse

Not only one of my favorite horror movies of the decade but one of my favorite movies of ALL TIME. Seriously. I think this was due to the awesome theatrical experience I had seeing this movie. Its a fun double feature with zombies, hot chicks, guns, gore, great fake trailers, and some kick ass women characters. I usually get chastised for this but I actually liked Death Proof more than Planet Terror. No self respecting zombie lover would admit that, I know. I can't help it. Those chicks just KICK ASS.


Hatchet

This was recommended by Johnny over at Freddy In Space. Its a fun homage film to the great 80's slasher films. Not only a great homage but it has enough originality for it to stand on its own. Victor Crowley has a great mythical back story and Kane Hodder, as usual, performs fantastically. So even if you know jack about 80's slasher films, this one will still be a great ride. It also has cameos from many horror film legends. Can you spot them all?



Paranormal Activity

...GOD I love this movie! It takes a lot, and I mean A LOT for a film to get to me. And this movie GOT TO ME. It preys off some of my biggest fears; Demon possession, helplessness, and your loved one not being who you think they are. This combined with the realism of the shakey camcorder style and very real characters creates a formula that will keep Cins awake for three nights. I am going out TODAY to pick this up on DVD. LOVE THIS MOVIE!!!


[REC]

Another shakey cam movie. And what I believe to be the BEST in the sub genre. Shakey cam and zombies. A perfect combo! I was lucky to stumble upon [REC] when Johnny tossed this to me as a recommendation. The man KNOWS my style! [REC] is relentless in its terror and uses the camera and the setting to its advantage in every way possible. It also has one of the best closing sequences in the horror film ever. The only movie ever to make my husband jump. This one you HAVE to see.



Cloverfield

And the third shakey cam film on my list. Both Paranormal Activity and [REC] are superior to this but you really can't knock that its just a fun movie. What I liked was how J.J. Abrams took the monster movie and made it revolve around the poor suckers who were stuck in the path rather than focus on the government or scientists we usually see. I also loved the weird and wacky design of the monster...and I finally got my plushie of it! Oh Happy Christmas indeed!



Dance of the Dead

It seems like a good chunk of this list is dedicated to zombie films. What can I say? I'm a zombie lovin' freakazoid. Dance of the Dead takes the awkwardness of a high school prom and adds zombies. And this made it awesome. I enjoyed my prom but I think zombies would have probably made it more interesting. It has some really great characters including a survivalist gym teacher and a zombie sex scene in a restroom stall. I repeat...zombie....sex...scene. There's a lot to like about this movie.


Let The Right One In

This is a beautiful and poetic film. Everything about this movie from the dialog to the cinematography was carefully used to invoke a feeling of melancholy that was both sad and lovely. They also casted children in this film that looked like real children which made the story hit you even harder. Less of a horror film and more of a drama with supernatural elements, this movie really changes the way you looks at vampires.


The Midnight Meat Train

Blood, Demons, and Clive Barker. Awwwwww Yeah baby! Okay, well I'm not sure if they were demons but still! This movie was a pleasant surprise for me. The CGI did go a little overboard but it seemed to work for the style. It also created quite an iconic horror villain with Mahogany (Vinnie Jones can convey more with an eye twitch then most actors can with their whole body). Not Clive's best but its signature Barker and has the same intimate feel that Hellraiser had.


Otis

I stumbled upon Otis by accident. I still have no idea how this ended up in my Netfix cue. This films is a fantastic satire of the torture porn genre. Even if you're not into torture porn comedy...which I think this is the only film that falls into the category...rent it for Illeana Douglas's performance. She's amazing hilarious in this movie.



And there's part 4!

Part five will be short, I promise. Six more movies to go!

Cins' Favorite Movies of the Decade - Part 2 Eletric Booglaoo

AAAAND we're back! And the list continues! As you can see, my taste runs the gamut here. But then I'm not a very picky person at times...Okay I'm picky enough to know that Diary of the Dead and The Unborn sucked ass and will not be making an appearance on this list.

So on we go!

Once again, no particular order than somewhat chronological:

The Texas Chainsaw Massacre Remake

A controversial film, yes! Controversial depending on which side of the remake debate you are on. I tend to be mildly indifferent about most remakes which is why this one was a pleasant surprise. In my mind, there was absolutely no way this movie was going to live up to the original. And you know what? It didn't. But going in with that thought I managed to watch the movie with a clean slate and enjoy it. As a stand alone horror film its extremely entertaining and I did enjoy watching our heroine run over then back up and run over again one of our villains.

Dawn of The Dead Remake

ANOTHER remake! And I will say this one is one of the more superior remakes out there. What Dawn of lacks in the social commentary the original one had, it MORE than makes up for it in the zombie action sense. They took fast zombies and made them meaner and scarier than 28 Days Later. It also has one of the best opening sequences ever in a horror film. I featured it on 10 minutes of terror.

Dominion: Prequel to the Exorcist

Okay...you MIGHT be able to consider this a remake. But I have to admit, if you do consider it a remake, its a remake that was FAR superior to the original. Exorcist the Beginning is afterbirth. Plain and simple. Dominion, while not as brilliant as The Exorcist, does a wonderful job keeping with the themes of the original as well as showing us what Father Merrin was before Regan was possessed. But if you look for this look for DOMINION not Exorcist the Beginning...because if you watch the later your face will melt off. Seriously. I've seen it happen.

The Hazing

TOTAL guilty pleasure movie brought to you by Stac! She brought over The Hazing two convergences ago to show me its campy awesomeness. And thats what it is CAMPY AWESOMENESS. The amount of camel toe alone in this film is breath taking. If you're looking for a fun drunken horror movie night film, this is it!

Infection

Nasty Gorey Asian Fun! That's really the best way to describe Infection. While its not the best Asian extreme out there, the gore is well done and the visuals are creepy and insane! Worth the rent!

Saw

Not a fan of the franchise. I'll admit that. And that is because the other Saw films lack what the original had. The first Saw was a sophisticated, gritty thriller. It more about the situation and less about the traps and THAT was where the terror was. There was gore but not as much as you would be lead to believe looking at the sequels. Jigsaw was an incredible villain, the twist at the end was jaw dropping and countless films after it are STILL trying to imitate it.

Shaun of the Dead

Best zombie comedy ever? I do believe so! And every zombie comedy pales in comparison. Shaun of the Dead is a masterpiece with great characters, tons of homages to classic Romero films, and a love story at its core. This is the film I think about whenever there is talk of a real zombie Apocalypse.

Dark Water (USA)

This movie really doesn't get enough credit. But then Dark Water is less about spooky ghosts and more about a mother on the edge of a breakdown. Jennifer Connelly's performance is so beautiful and strained as her character struggles with a bitter divorce, having no income, and struggling with her daughter's troubles. The ghost story creates a foil for her breakdown and we're treated to an amazing character study of a woman haunted not only physically, but psychologically as well. Do NOT expect The Ring or The Grudge when going into this. This is something on a whole other level.

The Descent

Words cannot express my love for this movie. Cramped places, crazy bitches, and creepy ass monsters! And that's just the TIP of the iceberg. The Descent is the only move I've seen that truly captures that horrible sense of claustrophobia and uses it through out the film. The acting is top notch and is one of the few horror films out there that features an all female cast...except maybe those cave lemurs..not sure if they have genitalia.

The Exorcism of Emily Rose

I'm a sucker for a good exorcism. I'm sure its because I was brought up Catholic. Part horror film, part court room drama, all engrossing. I found the entire film really intriguing and thought Jennifer Carpenter's performance was outstanding. While it did have some slow parts, it more thank makes up for it with the botched exorcism scene.


So there is Part TWO of my favorites of the decade! And I would guess about two more posts to go. Hang on tight folks!

Cins' Favorite Movies of the Decade - Part 1

So the holiday slump has set in I assure you. Life has been crazy busy...and full of booze.

...lots of booze.



But in an attempt to keep things as active as possible, I'll be posting yet another series on the blog. I realized that I have seen some pretty dang good horror in the last decade so why not do a quick "In Review" post? Well that quick in review turned into a list that consists of over 40 movies....wow.

And keep in mind this only consists of movies I've seen. I still have movies like "Grace" and "Dead Girl" waiting in my cue. I've never claimed to be on the pulse of the horror movie community. My timing is always off by 6 months to a year, I'll admit it. But I like to think what I lack in variety I make up with good intentions and a mighty fine ass.

...Too much information?



So without further ADO...here are 10 of my favorites for Part 1.

These are in no particular order other than chronological:



Final Destination
Yes, its total schlock. Yes, it has no point. Yes, its TONS of fun. I really love this movie simply for the creative improbable death scenes. There, I said it. There's really not much more to the film than that and it delivers! And while the sequels get more and more creative with the death scenes, I still feel the first one is the best in the series simply because it was the only one that wasn't a rehash of the same damn story.



Ginger Snaps
So my friend sat me down and told me "Boy, do I have the best pubescent girl werewolf movie for YOU!". And after I shook of the initial WTFery of that statement, I watched Ginger Snaps. I was kinda skeptical at first thinking this was going to be a movie about angsty teens and dramatic werewolves...and it is but its pulled off masterfully. Ginger Snaps delivers a perfect parallel between a girl growing into woman hood and a woman turning into a werewolf. Trust me guys, for some of us chicks, this is what puberty felt like.



Ju-On/The Grudge
Yeah, lumping the two in together simply because they're the same movie overall. And yes, I'm sure I'll get some flack for that but I really loved both Ju-On and The Grudge. Both are delightfully creepy and have some great sounds. That may seem ridiculous but the sound design is a big factor in its scares. Its also one of the few films where not even the sanctuary of your bed is safe from angry little Japanese women in need of a hot oil treatment.



The Devil's Backbone
This is more of a drama than a horror film but it has some frightening moments and one of the most grotesquely beautiful ghosts ever put on film. Guillermo del Toro showed what a masterful film maker he is with this wonderful book end to Pan's Labyrinth. And while Pan's Labyrinth is a better film, The Devil's Backbone is far more raw and frightening. If you haven't seen this movie, DO EEEEET!



The Others
I'm a sucker for ghost stories and British people. The Others wins simply for the amazing tension it creates. Nicole Kidman puts on one of the best performances of her career as the over protective, over zealous mother in a haunted house. The scares in this are all done in a less is more manner using sound, lighting, story, and simple effects. Its a wonderful film full of dread and anxiety.



Session 9
Did a review on this a while back. Stac introduced me to this mind fuck of a movie. Its definitely more of a supernatural thriller than a out and out horror film. Session 9 is a beautiful, creepy, and atmospheric film that never outright tells you what is going on. There are so many theories on what the film's ending really is and each one is valid! Total Mind Fuck!



Thir13en Ghosts
Okay, okay yes. This movie is NOT SCARY. I am fully aware of that. But its just so damn fun I just don't care. Everything from Mathew Lillard's smart ass psychic (who I adore in this movie) to the sassy black nanny is extremely cliche and ridiculous. But the ghosts are fantastic and the glass house is charming in a "that is SO not possible!" way. If you have seen the DVD, the back story of each ghost is great. This one is great for drunken horror movie night.



28 Days Later
This movie is brilliant. Hands down. Danny Boyle took a simple scenario seen before and turned it into a beautiful philosophical film about human companionship and humanity itself. Not to mention he took zombies and made them FUCKING FAST! I don't care who you are, if you saw one of those infected bastards coming at you, you'd shit your pants. It also sparked the debate of if the infected in 28 Days Later are really zombies or not which is always a fun fight to watch at parties.



Bubba Ho-Tep
Bruce Campbell at his finest. This movie only makes me love him more. Bruce steps into a roll that proves to the world that yes, he is more than just a gorgeous chin. The man can act. An ancient mummy comes to a old folks home to feed off the souls of the elderly...and only Elvis and JFK can stop them. Best movie premise ever. But don't let that synopsis fool you, Bubba Ho-Tep is more than just some goofy horror film, it tackles some serious subjects. This movie has a lot of layers.



May
This movie is the reason I fear people with social problems. Its equal parts heart breaking and FUBAR'd. May's greatness owes a lot to its lead actress Angela Bettis who played the title character so vulnerable you just want to sob. And when she does go on her little rampage at the end, you can't help but feel yourself rooting for her.



Freddy vs Jason
I don't care if you're a hater, I love this movie and I have no problem admitting it. Does that mean I have taste for shit? Perhaps. But come on, we ALL wanted to see these two either fight to the death or make out with each other....okay maybe Stac and I only wanted to see the later. This movie was so lovingly created by people who adore both the Nightmare and Friday franchises that you just can't help but be swept up in their enthusiasm. FvJ was good old fashion fun.



So there are the first 10 on my long list of insanity. And at least forty more to go. So strap in kiddies, its gonna be a long trip!

So...a new holiday horror film? I think so!

Okay hear me out.

I think most Holiday horror movies are pretty awesome. I mean we got killer snowmen, killer santas, and killer...well you get the idea. Yet no one has YET tackled the scariest holiday day ever.
BLACK FRIDAY.
That's right folks. No one to my knowledge has tackled this day. And why not? Come on, have you SEEN some of the people out there on Black Friday?! I went once in my life...ONCE... and never again. The pushing, the screaming, the trampling. OYE!
...it almost makes someone want to cut lose with a machete, don't it?

So I think there needs to be a Black Friday horror film. And it must involve the following:

• Disgruntled Retail employees.
• Midnight Madness.
• Tickle Me Elmo.
• Somewhere, somehow, a Walmart.
• A Muzak version of "The Little Drummer Boy".
• A Machete.
• Shoppers being trampled.
• A cleverly dressed killer..like completely decked out in shopping bags and livers or something.
• Fat lady in a stained Christmas Sweater.

I mean the kills practically write themselves, here. Okay Hollywood...you heard my case...get crackin'!!

These Holiday horror thoughts brought to you by crack!

Filler Fun: Podcasts...I haz them.

Note: The Saw Contest winners announcement IS running a bit late due to the fact that Stac is in finals and I'm up to my neck in nerd activities (I was recently put on baronial court in the SCA.). So we will be announcing the winners hopefully by Friday. Thanks so much everyone for being such great sports and so patient!


But yeah, it looks like the Creepy Kitch Holiday Slump is about to set in for us. So we will be posting a bit slower (if that is possible) than usual.

But on a brighter note. Out first year Anniversary is ALSO coming up! WOO HOO! I can't believe our attention spans lasted this long!

A quick filler post from me...yet again. I was planning on posting my top ten Stephan King movies list today but then I realized I really should watch Needful Things one more time to make sure it was as interesting as I thought it was the first time....yeah its been a while.


So instead I'm posting links to the three following Podcasts I've been addicted to lately. Actually I'm sure one postcast most of you know of because I'm positive most of our readers were sent here from there.

You can find all of these awesome podcasts on iTunes.



1-Cadaver Lab Podcast

These guys are my favorite.

So I started listening to this Podcast after Stac sent me a txt saying "I sent an email to Cadaver Lab about my cooter and they read it!". So how could I POSSIBLY resist listening? After one episode? Oh yeah. Hooked. Cadaver Lab is a great movie review podcast by two guys, Mike and Sam, who obviously love the genre and are extremely knowledgeable in it. They do great themed shows like Giallo, Hellraiser, Lucci Films, and other fantastic topics. Many of the films they touch on are ones I've never heard of. Thanks to those fantastic fellas I have discovered some wonderful gems that otherwise would have flown under my radar. Plus they are hilarious. Many a time I have almost driven my car into a lamp post from laughing too hard from their antics...thanks guys.
Mike and Sam are the reason that I wish Creepy Kitch was a Podcast simply because both Stac and I came to the crashing conclusion that we are the female equivalents of Mike and Sam.

I bet you money that a cold chill has just run down the spines of those poor poor boys.



2-Night of the Living Podcast

Yet another one Stac threw at me I had to listen to. This is due to the fact that I had to know where the term "cunt vibe" came from....okay I'll admit its disturbing that two of the Podcasts I'm addicted to started with me wanting to know more about Stac's genitalia....Yeah.
Anyways, Night of the Living Podcast is a group of people who talk horror films and horror books. The reason I love it so much is the conversational tone reminds me of how my friends and I talk..
NOTLP has fantastic features such as the latest horror news, movie and book reviews, and my favorite Straight to Video Russian Roulette. They also occasionally review horror porn which is probably the most hilarious thing I have ever listen to. Their shows are constantly entertaining, and even if the subject gets boring, they never do (especially when someone starts pretending their finger is Queen Elizabeth).



3-Anything Ghost

FINALLY! A podcast that has ABSOLUTELY NOTHING to do with Stac's Vag! But Stac did point this one out to me as well so she is 3 for 3 on the good Podcast streak and 2 for 3 on the relating her vagina to said Podcast.

Moving on.

Anything Ghost is a completely different turn from the first two podcasts simply because its not movie related at all. The Podcast is hosted by Lex (who I found out is based in So Cal. Rock on!) who opens his podcast up as a forum for people to share their own personal ghost stories. Some are emailed to him and he reads them, some are recorded and sent in, and ALL of them are creepy. Lex's soothing voice makes the stories all the more chilling as he reads each one in a bedtime story manner. People from around the world send in their stories. And while some are just short and interesting, there are many that are truly terrifying. Lex also composed all the music provided on the Podcast which adds a lot to the atmosphere. If you're a ghost story junkie like me, Anything Ghost is a gold mine.



And those are my top favorite Podcasts! I highly recommend that you listen to all of them. Every one of these are fantastic and a ton of fun. They also invite participation, with Cadaver Lab and NOTLP having voice mail and Anything Ghost inviting you to share stories via email or MP3.

Definitely give them a whirl!

Group Sharing Time! - Halloween Candy...FOR THE GODS!

Creepy Kitch's Halloween Saw Contest Ends Saturday! Hurry And Enter! Details can be found here!




So here's a fun question to the masses around Halloween time.



What would you consider your Halloween Candy holy grail?



Every kid had one. The one piece of candy you would not trade ANYONE for, not even the pope (Well, if you were Catholic that is).

The obvious answer for me is anything full sized...fun sized my ass! Gimme a full sized Hershey bar, dammit! I also had a weak spot for Reeses Peanut Butter Cups and Baby Ruths. Having a uterus makes one susceptible to chocolate. I also had and STILL HAVE an addiction to Smarties....seriously...I need to seek help for this. I pop those little sugary bastards like a raver pops x-tasy.



In turn, what was the candy you absolutely HATED to get? The candy you would beg for someone to take but they wouldn't because they know it tasted like popcorn shrimp and ass.

For me, Now and Laters. I bet you money I'll get flack about that too but I cannot stand those plastic tasting filling rippers! And for some reason I always ended up with a ass ton of them (that is an actual measurement. Its equivalent to a cooter quart). They still haunt me to this day. I find little Now and Laters everywhere still. I believe they are trying to end the world and only I know their secret...so they're coming for me first.

Also, Necowafers. Who thought that miniature disks of chalk would make a good candy?...because they don't....at all.



So lay it on me!

Best and worst candy of Halloween!

Pop Quiz, Hotshots!!!

I think I totally dated myself with that quote....

Anyways, What is more scary.
A Werewolf or a Vampire?

Personally I go for Werewolf. They're big, unpredictable, and really have no qualms with knocking your head off with a swipe of the claw. You also can't kill them with anything by a silver bullet.

And because vampires can sometimes be pussies *cough* Anne Rice *cough*. Sorry...not a big fan of the Anne Rice vamps. I can't get scared of a puffy faced whiny Brad Pitt who has better hair than me....that bitch.

Sooo...discuss...

What the Blazes?! CONTEST!!!

So my friend Roy pointed out that Fangora just posted a couple pics from Rob Zombie's H2:Halloween 2. And this image?
Yeah..this is hurting my brain...


Umm...what the Hell IS that?
It appears to be some sort of weeping vagina goat pumpkin prince.

Now I still have yet to see the first Rob Zombie Halloween so for all I know this may tie in somewhere. I doubt it but it may! Does it? Anyone have answers for this ignorant girl?

Since this picture confuses and amuses me so I'm going to open up a wacky contest.

Give me an explanation of what the hell could POSSIBLY be happening in this picture within the movie boundaries. Stac and my favorite will win a print of my Zombie in a Hamster Wheel sketch or Jason makes a Compost Heap Sketch.

Just post it in the comments here. Please enlighten me!

Stac's edit: What the FUCK?! Someone better explain this, NOW!

Chalk up another one for a drunken horror movie night!

I'm currently watching this gem.



Mustang Sally's Horror House.

Or...whore-er house. Less horror more porn-er.
Its kinda a Hostel meets Debbie Does Dallas. Since I'm currently watching it on Chiller its lacking the nuances such as nipples and the F Bomb.

The hubby and I are currently watching this sucker and we really cannot stop laughing. Its not Zombie Strippers by any stretch but I really would love to watch this sucker with some really snarky gal pals after a bottle of wine.

I would also like to point out this movie has the best hooker names EVER. Tushalene, LikiLick (shes the Asian one), Caressa, Titi-ana (don't you call her titty!), Persuasion, and the not quite creative but you see where this is going name, Kitty.

Check it out for a good Stupid horror film with big jugs!

Check out the trailer:

There Are Monsters

I was surfing Youtube while chatting with Stac tonight and found this gem of a Short Film.
There are Monsters is a short Canadian film written and directed by Jay Dahl and it gives me the creeps something fierce!

So I'm sharing.
ENJOY!

I Married a Serial Killer

I just got Midnight Meat Train in the Netflix. I believe I squeed when I opened my red and white padded envelope of glee.
Expect a review soon.

Until then? Another True Life Adventure.

I was convinced my husband was a serial killer.
I am an avid SCAer. For those not in the "wow, that's really nerdy" world, SCA stands for Society of Creative, Anachronisms. It sounds impressive but really it all boils down to medieval reenactment. I'm one of those people who prance around in medieval clothes and shouts "Huzzah!" a lot. I do not throw magic missiles though. Those are LARPers and my involvement is strictly historical and alcohol related. On the geek hierarchy I fit somewhere between Civil War reenenactors and Ren Fair Rats. I'm also extremely paranoid. I've watched enough horror films and episodes of Dateline to be convinced that anyone could be a maniac slasher killer out to get me.
The SCA is where I met my husband. He was the "newbie greeter" when I decided to join the society after grad school. I emailed my soon the be husband asking him for information on where to get started. We exchanged pleasantries and he emailed me his cell phone number to contact him with any other questions. I hesitated then took a chance and called him. My husband has a deep voice. Deep enough that it conjured images of a large, twitching man in a dirty T-shirt sitting in his mother's basement playing with a butcher knife. Yes, this is how my mind works. We chatted a moment and I mentioned that I was going to the newcomers meeting. I found he was WAY to enthusiastic to pick me up and drive me. Of course, my brain instantly went to the "he's a serial killer!" scenario and I declined the ride. I even gave him a fake description of myself when he said he'd look out for me at the newcomers meeting. I did eventually come clean that night and introduced myself after finally seeing him. He wasn't a large dirty mama's boy to my relief. His reply was "Hey, you're not Mexican!". He asked me out shortly after. I did say yes because he was funny and good looking. But as usual, I still had the nagging feeling that he could be Ted Bundy. Ted Bundy was funny and good looking too right?

On our first date, I insisted I drive. Because I felt if I was behind the wheel, I was in control. Keep in mind that I absolutely hate driving. I hate driving with a passion. If public transportation in San Diego was actually worth anything, I'd probably spend my time taking buses and trolleys instead of sitting in traffic cursing out the lady with the breast implants in front of me putting on lipstick in her rear view mirror whilst running over a small child. But regardless, my need to survive outweighed my road rage. I got lost on route to his house, almost ended up in Orange County somehow (don't ask), then finally made it to his place where I met up with him and his roommate at the time. His roomie was a stocky bald man who had an insanely intense gleam in his eye. A gleam that said "Nice ass, I'm going to make a hat out of it". Perhaps they worked together to grind up women's bodies and stuff them into sausages? I didn't want to know. But I felt uneasy when his roomie muttered in a low guttural voice "Have a good tiiiiime" then laughed manically as we walked out the door. The date went well other than my soon to be husband holding me hostage in his living room and forcing me to watch episodes of Firefly. Luckily I enjoyed Firefly and did not see this as torture.

The final scenario of this on going thought that my husband was a serial killer came when he drove me to my first SCA event down in the deserts of Imperial Valley aka...The Hills Have Eyes territory. The site was about an hour drive away through rocky hills and long lines of desert. I'm sure there was more than one hillbilly behind a rock with a sniper riffle out there. My soon to be husband picked me up with his good friend. His good friend was a six foot tall gangly guy who had pointy teeth wore goggles, a kimono, and a paint ball belt. He talked with a British accent but was NOT from England. I blinked, swallowed, and foolishly went with them anyways. Any good horror movie girl would have slammed the door in their face but being the adventurous type (I.E. stupid) I went along.
We all sat in the small cab of my soon to be husband's white Ford Ranger. It was cramped and I was stuck in the middle with my feet on the hump between a could be Ted Bundy and his friend Samurai Shark Boy. I really had no idea where we were going since I was still relatively new to San Diego. The scenery became more and more rural. The houses started to disappear. Soon we were driving through rocky desert terrain with no other soul in site. We were the only friggin' truck on the road. My soon to be husband and his friend proceeded to talk paint ball and guns. LOTS of guns. They own guns. BIG guns. They like to shoot things with guns. Guns go Bang. I Own fifty bazillion guns. Lets go shoot some guns. Boy do we like guns!
I had the following plan all mapped out in my head. They'd soon pull over to do me in right? Probably over by that rock pile since its a good place to hide the body. As soon as the truck would come to a stop I would punch the little Ted Bundy one in the balls then jab my keys in the tall one's eye and twist. I could blind the tall one long enough to push him out of my way and run for the hills. I'd take my chances with the hillbillies. My keys were at the ready in my hand the entire ride.
Luckily nothing came to pass.
On the way home that night, my soon to be husband and I were sitting alone in the truck. Samurai Shark Boy caught a ride home with another friend so it was just us. My soon to be husband looked at me and asked 'You seem tense."
I replied "A bit"
"What's up?"
"I think you're a serial killer"
He blinked, then laughed and said "Ah...guess I'll have to kill you now."
Yeah, after that, it was love.
Well first some screaming, then love.

We dated for three years and we've been married for seven months now. I'm still trying to find the bodies of his previous girlfriends but I figured they'd be pretty hard to find in our tiny apartment.

...I'm still looking though.

More Filler Fun with Cins. Now with retsin.

Yes I'm beating a dead horse but this is a horror blog and I gotta beat SOMETHING dead, right?
Cast your vote for Monsters Vs Madmen!
Can you tell Stac and I are having fun with our new little feature?

So once again its filler fun time! I figured I should share with you some up and coming movies that I'd like to try and catch. Most of you probably have seen these trailers so please voice your opinion! I love a good discussion!

First movie I am really chomping at the bit for is Sam Rami's return to his horror roots, Drag Me to Hell.

The Main Reason I'm stoked about this other than it looking like a good balls to the walls horror film is that its not a remake or a reboot. Don't get me wrong, there are some remakes out there I really loved. But frankly I'm starting to get a little bored with the concept. I hope this movie does well and injects a little life into mainstream horror.

Inglorious Bastards

Yeah, not really a horror film but I'm sure there will be insane gore...well, I HOPE there will be. Say what you will about Tarentino, the guy knows how to make an entertaining movie. And my favorite little pocket sized gore hound is in it.

District 9

I found out about District 9 from Freddy In Space (Thanks Johnny!) I'm a sucker for viral campaigns. Unfortunately I haven't had enough time to search for the viral websites for this. If you've seen them, link me? What intrigues me the most is the alien scene. This doesn't look like a typical Sci-Fi/Horror.

Mutants

Just found this while surfing Youtube. I wish I read French! Anyone heard of this yet? From what I researched, its a French zombie flick. This excites me like a little girl at Christmas. You can find some stills and the poster here.

Pandorum

I saw the trailer for this before Star Trek. This looks like it has a lot of Event Horizon influence. I really loved Event Horizon so I'm hoping its up that alley.

So those are my picks so far. COme Share yours! What are you looking forward to?

An Extremely Rambling and Unfocused Discussion on Vampires.

Its Sharing is Caring time here at Creepy Kitch!

In other words, I'm trying to spark a discussion in the comments section.

Warning, I am completely unfocused and thinking a lot of the up coming Pedicure I have after I get home from work. So read at your own risk.

I was listening to a Cadaver Lab Podcast episode about the Vampires( Oh and if you're reading this. Sam. I feel your Noob pain, man. I am in the same boat). I'll admit, I originally started listening to it because Stac left the guys a rather hilariously perverted message on there. Lets face it, the woman is completely obsessed with her magoo. Really. I mean it. Its actually quite charming. But then I believe most of us are a little preoccupied with our genitals at one time or another. But I digress. This article is about Vampire discussion, not Stac's ax-wound..

Now overall, I'm not a huge vampire lover. I'm a zombie girl. Keep in mind when I am talking zombie or vampire I mean in terms of what appeals to me as an audience not which one would I rather do the horizontal bop with. Because if those were my only choices?Yeah, I'd go celibate. And for some reason each paragraph is going back to sex. I'll stop. I promise. I am, as usual, split focused since I'm writing this at work and trying to give good customer service while thinking of blood suckers. Am I babbling? I'm babbling.

Yet despite that vampires are not my #1 ghoul of choice I still like to see vampires in films and I love it when people play with their mythology. Like zombies, the mythos is broad, sweeping, and can pretty much be adapted to anything if you know how to tweak it the right way. In fact, there was a crazy vampire series Stac, her roomie Bevin, and I put together called Wax Lips where we really did one heck of an overhaul on the standard vampire mythos.

I find that there are three types of vampires in the horror genre. At least there are three types that I know about. We have the animalistic vampires (30 Days of Night, John Carpenter's Vampires), the suave angsty vampires (Interview with a Vampire, Dracula), and the bad ass mother fuckers(Blade, Underworld). While all three have their place in the horror world I tend to lean more towards the animalistic style of vampires. What can I say? I like my vamps mean, bitchy and ruthless. I think 30 Days of Night gives us some of the best vampires ever. Overall I think its an okay film (the graphic novel is better) but talk about ruthless, angry, scary mother fuckers! I love the mouth full of shark like teeth and that they had their own language...now if only they could have casted someone else other than Josh Hartnett as Eben...I mean come on. You're WAY too pretty to be that character, man.

The main reason why the animalistic vampire is the most appealing to me is because its the one I find the most scary. To me, having someone tear into you like a rabid badger is far scarier than someone trying to seduce me...well not completely. You should have seen some of the gems that hit on me at comic con. But still. Like zombies, the looks human, seems human but is definitely NOT human factor in the animalistic vampires is what gives me the creeps.
Of course I still have yet to watch Let the Right One In (which hopefully will be my main activity tomorrow since its my day off). So my entire perspective may change after that.

Anyways, Lets start some conversation, shall we?

-What do you like best: Animalistic, Bad Ass, or Angsty vampires?

-What is one of the best combos of the three you've seen on film?

-Any style you hate?

-Any style you love?

-Any films to recommend to me? I'm always looking for new things to watch.

-What vampire cliche's do you hate or love?

-What is your ultimate favorite vamp flick?

-What about Stac's magoo? Actually no..that shouldn't be up for discussion.

Feed my Lust for Knowledge!!! I promise I will respond to your comments...after my pedicure. Promise!

Bonuse Material!
Here's some trailers of my Favorite Vamp Films

30 Days of Night. (not as good as the graphic novel though. I'll stand by that)

John Carpenter's Vampires. (Its just a lot of fun and worth Watching JUST for James Woods alone.)


Fright Night (So Cheesy, so 80's, so fun.)


Night Watch (Not completely about Vampires but its' freakin AWESOME!)


Near Dark (One of the Best Vampire Movies ever made)

I'm Lazy. So Sue me. Its my Birthday. FILLER FUN!

So yeah, We got filler, folks! Lots of filler!
Why?
Because it's my birthday and I felt like I am entitled to one day of being insanely lazy.
That and my brain refuses to work currently.

ANYWAYS, I figured since I'm being lazy, what better way to show my laziness than to make other bloggers work FOR me!
So here's a list of some fun stuff to read. Check em out!

Cracked.com has two insanely hilarious articles up that you really should read if you need a cheep laugh. I loved cracked. Even if I don't agree with what they're saying, its always a great read.
The 5 Most Unintentionally Gay Horror Movies Ever
And yeah..I agree with quite a few of them.
The 5 Most Half-Assed Monsters in Movie History
I must hunt down a copy of Death Bed: The Bed that Eats now!

And here's a couple of blogs to check out that I stumbled upon this week.
For you entertainment junkies out there, we have:
Reel Maniacs which covers not just horror but just about all genres. I enjoy Brad's article on the Oscars, being an Oscar junkie since high school....yes, I'm sad.
And a shout out to one of our loyal readers,The Bonebreaker and his blog The Mad Ravings of an Entertainment Junkie. He's got an eclectic taste which makes his blog a lot of fun to read! I also want to shout his user name like I'm announcing in the WWF.

For horror blogs we have Cabby's blog Night of the Living Celluloid. Dude, I share your opinion on 80's horror movies.
And a fledgling blog :Terror Firmer which proves to be a really fun blog to read so far. He knows his stuff!

And for the crafty in the kitchen folk, check out this I Make Projects article on how to make your own Cannibal Themed Supper....I so want to try one of those Alien Autopsies.

And in the WTF catagory we have Spitzle the Clown. I can't take credit for finding this. Stac is in charge of the WTF findings around here. I take no responsibility for what this will do to your brain.

And as usual, thanks to you all for reading and staying with us. Stac and I have had a blast writing this blog and a lot of that has to do with that fact that everyone has been really welcoming and awesome to us. So thanks!

Next Cins article will probably be either on The Exorsists sequals (believe it or not, two of the four were actually pretty good!) or why I love Clive Barker ....or none of the above because I tend to write on whim. For all I know, Stac may convince me to write about horror peen.

Have a great weekend all! I'm going to go endulge in some birthday cake!

Movies to Get Drunk By...

I'll admit it, I want to have a drunken Wicker Man party.
And not the original GOOD version. OH no no no. I want to use the new Nick Cage version.

Yes, this movie was god awful. The story went nowhere, the acting was melodramatic, and the scares were Nil. But I still want to have a drunken Wicker Man party.
Why? I think this little video will sum it up enough.



Three things: Bicycle, Bear Suit, and Karate kicking Leelee Sobieski.
If that isn't hilarious on its own sober then imagine the insanity after a few rum and cokes?

So lets open this to discussion folks. What god awful horror movie would you choose to watch completely wasted?

I'll be planning the drunken Wicker Man party for this summer. Just FYI...

All Work and No Play Make Cindy Go Crazy...

I'll be posting an article up here that actually is entertaining soon.
But until then? Check this shit out!

Ever wondered what Jack Torrance's Book was about?
WONDER NO MORE!

Looks like Jackie Boy has finished his novel and put it up for sale on the interwebs.I bet its quite the heart warming story as well.

I stumbled onto this link randomly and laughed my ass off. Be sure to hit the book preview for that maximum feeling of someone having WAY too much time on their hands.
I'm really tempted to pick this sucker up...or make my own because that's how I've been feeling lately.
*twitch*
Umm...nothing to see here!
Where's my ax?