Review - Shutter Island

Look at me! Being all relevant and stuff!

I've been chomping at the bit to catch this movie for a really long time now. I'm a bit of a Scorsese fan girl (Though honestly, nothing can beat the masterpiece that is Goodfellas in my opinion). I saw the trailer ages ago in the theater and thought that it looked fantastic. Then I promptly forgot about the film and moved on to other things coming out. I was reminded of it by a couple TV bumpers and seeing it listed on IMDB as an upcoming release. So overall my exposure to the film was kinda nil other than that first trailer I saw oh so long ago. The only thing I really knew about the movie was it was a period piece, it involved an insane asylum, and there was some really creepy imagery in it. Overall I was a complete clean slate. And frankly, that's how I recommend you see this film. The less you know about it, the more intriguing it is.

I don't consider it the best thriller I've ever seen and I don't think its a masterpiece on par with the Departed, Taxi Driver, or Goodfellas. But its extremely intense, beautifully shot, and it had my interest from beginning to end. Definitely in my top five Scorsese films. So in my opinion, it was worth the price of admission and the drive out to the theater.

Even though I don't want to give much of the story away, here's a bit of the basic plot. Teddy Daniels (played by a jittery Leo DiCaprio) is a Federal Marshal who is sent to the infamous Shutter Island asylum to investigate the disappearance of a female patient. And from there its total mind fuck chaos. That's really all you need to know.

Unfortunately I plan to gloss over a lot of this movie because I rather not give anything away. But you can expect a film more along the lines of Silence of the Lambs and Session 9. Actually it has a LOT more in common with Session 9. The group I saw it with figured out the film in a heart beat. I myself really enjoyed the whole unfolding of the story and was always trying to guess what was going on. Now I don't know what that says about me. Maybe I'm an idiot while my friends are super movie savants. But damn it, it had me guessing every frame and never ceased to surprise me.

Visually I loved this movie with a passion. Its as if a Hitchcock film and a Kubrick film had a moody little baby. It uses many of the classic noir looks, lighingt, and at many times monochromatic coloring. Yet the film is sprinkled with crazy cuts to creepy unsettling imagery that hearkens back to The Shining. The music is wonderfully erratic and at first seems almost out of place. As the film goes on you notice how the music is used to create tension and disorientation. Even the acting style is stylized, feeling like the old 1950's noir films which later on falls into more naturalized acting..with reason I assure you. Everything in this film is deliberate and demands that the film be watched again.

There's really not much else I can say about this film without giving it away. And like I said earlier, the best part of the movie is going in completely blank.

If you're looking more for a Scorsese horror film, check out his remake of Cape Fear instead. If you like movies like Session 9, Memento, Silence of the Lambs, or any type of thriller that screws with your mind you'll like Shutter Island. Its not a fast paced gore fest of scare but a intense, well acted, and beautifully shot film. Check it out!

Movie Challenge Review - The Thing From Another World

Before I get started...
Monsters Vs. Madmen! So far we have two votes and a shit ton of investment spam and Japanese porn. And its a tie..So go vote for your favorite vampire! Severen vs Marlow! Go On! Dooo EEEEET!!

And now back to your regularly scheduled post.

So last week I declared it Black and White week for our first movie challenge. Stac threw The Thing From Another World in my direction to review. The last time I saw that movie I believe I was a freshmen in high school. And I didn't remember much about it other than I enjoyed it so I was pretty happy with revisiting the film.

Now, a little word about black and white horror films. I really don't think they get enough credit out there in blogger land. And I'm sure a lot of it has to do with both the ages of bloggers out there as well as a whole aesthetic in old black and white films that sometimes can't translate to other generations. Way back in the day, you couldn't fall back on CGI or massive Technicolor gore to get your point across so a lot of these older films relied on atmosphere, acting, and set up. In other words, there was a whole lot of less is more going on. The acting also is a bigger and broader. This is because film was still considered a new media and actors were still trained for the stage. I love old black and white horror films because of those reasons. Unfortunately they can also be viewed as campy, dated, and dull as shit. And while there are some shitty black and whites out there that are all three, I don't think all black and whites should be written off. Many of those films are creepy as Hell. The best way to view an old B&W is to simply put yourself into the shoes of the viewer back in the day and try to watch the film with unjaded eyes. And that's how I watched, The Thing From Another World. And that's also why I did enjoy it. So to all you young whipper snappers out there who read this blog; if you have not given old black and white horror a chance, I highly recommend you do. Stac and I will be happy to give you some recommendations if you want! I just don't think its a genre that should be skipped over.
And I'm off my soap box.

The Thing from Another World is the original 1951 film that John Carpenter's The Thing was a remake of. Its basically the same plot of some scientists and army folk are up in the Antarctica and encounter an alien force that wants to destroy them and more than likely the human race as well. The differences of course, are in the details. Where as Carpenter's remake was an awesome action gore fest, the original was more of a tense chamber drama. That's where the big difference is. Does it make it a bad film? Oh Hells no! Just VERY different.

Like I said, the movie is very much a chamber drama. Instead of seeing wacky gore effects, spaceships crashing, and an alien killing everything it sees, we get descriptions of it from our characters. The film has a few exterior shots in the beginning but overall it takes place in small cramped places on the military base, giving it a sense of claustrophobia. We don't really see the alien a whole lot other than hints here at there like a dead dog hidden in a crate, an arm left behind, noises, broken windows..etc etc. Its a really fantastic way to keep the tension up. And I will admit, the alien was a bit on the lame side when you see it so the less I saw it, the more into the film I was. Its not horrible rubber suit territory but it always looked better when you got glimpses or if it was lit from behind. Keep in mind that is my modern day aesthetic talking.

The whole film feels a lot like a play. In fact I think it would have made an AWESOME stage play. The dialog is sharp and smart and is really the star of the film. Its fast paced in that wonderful late 40's/early 5o's film noir/girl Friday films that were popular back in the day. There are also a lot of great jokes in there that slip by so fast in the rapid fire pace. Keep your ears open and listen to the lines. Its the best part of the movie.

I found the movie had more in common with Aliens than I did with its own remake. While you watch it, you can see a lot of things James Cameron borrowed. The use of the Geiger counter tracking how close the alien was, the sharp humor and camaraderie amongst the military folk, the feeling of being trapped inside while something outside wants to get to you. A lot of that you see in The Thing From Another World and its really surprising. I'm almost tempted to watch this and Aliens back to back to see how many parallels there are.

But my favorite part of the film?
Nikki, played by Margaret Sheriden.
She is our heroine and that bitch was AWESOME. For a woman in a horror/sci-fi film in the 50's, Nikki had a ton of guts and brains. Never once did she shriek and recoil in terror. She not only saved a lot of our military folks butts by being the smart collected one, I am sure given the chance she'd go after that alien herself using just a nail file and a hair pin. MOXY. Nikki has it!

So overall? Fantastic classic black and white film. While I tend to like my old movies a bit more visually atmospheric like Night of the Living Dead, Psycho, and Carnival of Souls, this one still won me over with its dialog and theater presentation. I now remember why I enjoyed it so much when I first saw it.
Oh and for Stac, The Ghost Host from The Haunted Mansion in Disneyland is in this movie. Its hard NOT to spot that voice. He plays one of the douchey scientists.

So there you go!
Your Turn Stac! ;D

Movie of the Week - Grace

Yet ANOTHER movie that has been sitting on my table for months and I never picked it up to watch until now.
Warning to any pregnant women who read this blog! You may want to pass on Grace until you've given birth and the baby has stopped teething!

So in a nutshell: Grace is about a young woman named Madeline who has finally gotten pregnant after many failed attempts. Unfortunately, she is in a car accident which kills both her husband and her unborn child. Despite the dead child, Maddy still decides to carry the baby to term and miraculously, she wills the baby back to life. But there is something horribly HORRIBLY wrong with her baby girl. Suspense, insanity, and some of the most disturbing scenes of breast pumping ensue.

I assure you, the synopsis does not even give the details and subplots of this movie any justice. But I don't want to give anything away so I'm being very vague here.

At first I really wasn't' sure what to make of Grace. It sounded interesting overall but I've always been more of a fan of campy horror. The whole disturbing horror sub genre tends to get too much under my skin and I'm upset, disturbed, and depressed for days. So I was almost afraid to watch this one for a while. Well I've decided that I'm kind of an idiot for sitting on this sucker for so long because it was definitely one I enjoyed.
What I loved so much about Grace was how extremely subtle it all was. While it did have gore and some disturbing context, it was all done in a minimalist manner. This, I believe puts less emphasis on the horror that baby Grace isn't natural and more on what lengths people would go to to protect their child. And watching Maddy's decent into madness was far more frightening than anything Grace was. To the audience, Grace just appeared to be a normal healthy baby girl. The only main clues we gets to things not being right are how she attracts flies (Beautifully shown with the tons of pest strips hanging around the crib) and that she has a very bad smell that doesn't come from her diaper. and that's all that was really needed.
The story is dominated by very strong females. But this is far from a "Girl Power!" film. Actually, every woman in this movie is pretty screwed up in the head. The director does walk that fine line between "deeply flawed characters" and "The Bitch be crazy!" with this story and manages to create some very real women that were in no way insulting to me as a female. They could have easily slipped into crazy bitch territory and have gotten campy but luckily the performances remained subtle and creepy. BIG props go out to the two main actors in this movie. Jordan Ladd as Maddy was wonderfully haunting. The obsession she has for her baby reads in her eyes from start to finish. and Gabrielle Rose as Maddy's controlling mother-in-law Vivian was flawless.

Visually the movie was impressive. The picture quality changed from brightly lit, colorful, and crystal clear in the beginnings of the film then deteriorated slowly and subtly to fuzzed edges and washed out tones as Maddy begins to lose her mind. It also contains one of the few moments of gore at the end that really startled me.

Grace is a slow burn of a movie. Its not action packed or gore filled but gives you a deep sense of dread and disturbance as the movie goes on. I truly enjoyed this movie and I feel like it should be considered a classic of the genre. So overall, it gets one of my highest recommendations.

Review - My Name Is Bruce

Before I get started, I want to post a quick amendment to my favorites of the decade list I did last week.

How...HOW could I have left out one of my all time favorite horror films ever?! Because I was sure it came out in 1999, not 2000, that's why. Next time I need to research better. ANYWAYS:

American Psycho

This movie is one of my favorites. It walks that wonderful fine line between horror and satire and does it perfectly. I was a Christian Bale fan back in the time of Newises (Don't Judge Me!). So seeing him finally shake the little sensitive boy persona he was getting shoehorned into for a while was great....and he was half naked through most of the movie which ain't half bad either. It's frighteningly shallow and also has the BEST chainsaw chase scene ever.



Okay, now I feel better.



On with the Review!



I had, My Name Is Bruce on my Netflix instant cue for a while. The boys at Cadaver Lab mentioned it many episodes ago and I tossed it up...and promptly forgot about it. A few months and several bottles of wine later I turned the sucker on and watched it.

In a nutshell, My Name Is Bruce is about a small town called Gold Lick that is being terrorized by a Chinese spirit, (and protector of bean curd) Guan-Di. In an act of desperation, a young teenager and die hard Bruce Campbell fan hunts down said actor, clubs him over the head, and hauls him back to Gold Lick hoping Bruce can save them all. Bruce is convinced this is just a movie shoot. Hilarity (And I mean it this time) ensues.

Now I will admit that this movie will make absolutely NO sense if you're not a Bruce Campbell fan. It's pretty self referential and definitely made for his followers. So if you don't know who Bruce Campbell is or if you barely heard of him, don't bother with this movie....but since this is a horror blog I'm going to assume you all are fans of El Bruce-o. This movie is absurd. And I mean that in the most positive way possible. Bruce Campbell not only directed this movie but was also a writer on the film. Its full of a lot of in jokes for the fans as well as plays off of Bruce's most famous character persona, Ash. So Bruce portrays himself as a blustering, self centered, egomaniac in his usual charming manner. You're really not getting a movie about Bruce Campbell but a movie about the crazy persona that Bruce Campbell puts out there on the screen....which really makes me wonder what the real Bruce Campbell is really like. I'm pretty sure he doesn't live in a trailer...or drinks hooch out of a dog bowl.

The movie is low budget and when I mean low budget, I mean LOW BUDGET. The special effects are awful and scenery chewing is epic. Yet I'm positive it was all done on purpose. The amount of camp and wackiness this film unloads is fantastic from the fake blood to Ted Raimi playing multiple parts in a bad wig and moustache. It all fits in with Bruce Campbell's King of Schlock title. Not only fits in, but milks the shit out of it! It does get a little slow in parts and at times is a bit all over the place with its cheesiness. But El Bruce-o keeps you interested with his charm and chin...even when he's playing himself as a big ol' douche bag.

Its a really fun film overall. If you're in the mood for a silly movie and lots of Bruce love this is worth the rental. But if you're not a fan, best to skip this one.

So I FINALLY saw Paranormal Activity

...and I do believe I will never sleep again.

No fooling.

An old friend of mine texted me yesterday morning asking if I'd like to catch a showing of Paranormal Activity that night. I was really interested in the film after I saw the commercial for it on TV so I was up for it. Besides, its hard for me to actually see movies like this in the theater simply because my beloved husband, creep though be may be, refuses to watch movies about ghosts and spirits that look even remotely scary. Its his preference. I don't bug him about it since I have an aversion to watching documentaries on how one puts together an AK-47 or the history of cheese. Luckily our friend has my back in the world of haunting movies.

I was pretty skeptical going into it too. usually when a film gets hyped so much as "The scariest movie of the year!" or "Not since The Exorcist!" or what have you I snort and think "Yeah, right." Well this time I will have to agree with the reviewers. This movie is a pitch perfect example on how to build tension and terror.

In a nutshell, Paranormal Activity centers around a couple in San Diego who video tape the strange happenings in their house. And as the nights go on things get worse and worse and worse. Terror ensues. That's really all I want to mention about the plot because I found going into the film spoiler free makes the journey through the film all the better.

...but I will bring up some spoilers at the end of this.

I remember hearing a documentary on horror films defining the difference between horror and terror. Horror is the aftermath of something bad. Terror is the waiting for it. This movie is not a horror film. It is a terror film. The approach is simple and yes we have seen this all before. But its less about the subject matter and more about the execution that makes Paranormal Activity as frightening as it is. The film effects are simple. Noises here, movement there, and hints of very bad things along the way. That's really all you need for your imagination to fill in the rest. The film makers slowly gave you teaspoons of information as the film goes on. Things that you'd probably not think much of at first. But that information sits in the back of your mind and while the film unravels, that information comes back to haunt you...no pun intended.

I also loved how our two lead characters, Katie and Micah looked like ordinary folk. neither of them were stick skinny, or super buff or hyper good looking. They both looked like someone you would bump into at the supermarket. For me, that normalcy took the protective fourth wall away and made the film feel real.

And at this moment that is all I can say about the movie without giving away any spoilers. I will discuss spoilers below because I have the undying need to do so! But if you have not seen Paranormal Activity yet I highly recommend going into it spoiler free.

So wait for the spoilers if you've seen the movie....

Until then enjoy this picture of zombies in a shopping mall.

...

...

...

All set now?

Okie Dokie then.

Things I noticed and loved about Paranormal Activity was how the film set you up for a pattern. you got you back ground information and character development in the day time shots, then you have your terror in the evening shots in the bedroom. Every time that camera was on the tripod and you saw that time counter in the corner you knew something bad was going to happen. When that pattern was broken, you knew the haunting/possession was getting worse.

I have to give a lot of credit to the actors (both who used their real names in this movie). Katie Featherson's wide eyed expressions and her bone chilling scream were amazing. Not to mention her motionless hovering over the bed and those devilish grins she'd give the camera when she became fully possessed by the demon sent chills down my back. I also have to say Micah Sloat did an excellent job coming across as the douchiest boyfriend ever.

I noticed people complaining that Micah was too much of a douche. But without him this film wouldn't have worked. This movie isn't just about a wacky demon coming to get'cha. This movie is about a very flawed relationship between a controlling man and a codependent woman. And you begin to see the cracks in their "perfect" relationship as the possession gets worse.

Micah drove the bus in this relationship. He wants to so desperately to be in control that he ultimately puts himself and Katie in danger all for the sake of his stubbornness. Yes Micah did everything wrong in this situation. He mocked, threatened, and tried to communicate with the demon despite everyone who told him not to. Why? Because he refused to give up control of the situation. In Micah's mind, he was right and not even the threat of losing his girlfriend could detour that. Did I want to beat him? Yes. If I was in that relationship I probably would have punched Micah in the face before seeking the nearest priest after the first door slam. But I am a different woman from Katie. Katie was so very codependent on Micah that she just couldn't muster up the courage to either leave or seek help on her own. They hinted at it in the beginning with how uncomfortable she was with the camera but grinning and bearing it because its what Micah wanted. Then it becomes the most obvious when, despite her anger with him for unapologetically bringing a Ouija board into the house, she still needs to curl up with him in bed. It made you want to shake her and it made the idea of the film progress in a believable manner without asking the age old question "why don't you get out and get help!?".

I'd say if there was one major flaw in the film, it would have to be the very quick flash of CGI at the end. While it didn't ruin the movie, I felt it wasn't necessary at all to make the movie any more scary. I would have preferred it if it went to black on Katie smiling at the screen as she hovered over Micah's body. But that is just a minor complaint. The movie was a fantastic nerve wracking watch that I am dying to see again.

I will definitely be picking this one up on DVD.

Halloween Movie Madness! Week 8 -Drag Me to Hell

Creepy Kitch's Halloween Saw Contest Ends Saturday! Hurry And Enter! Details can be found here!

Warning...mild spoilers.

So I almost sat my ass down last night and typed up a review of Drag Me to Hell right after I watched it. Unfortunately my computer chair was pirated by my both my husband's best friend and my cat on two separate occasions so it had to wait until today.

So I'll admit it. I am pissed off that I did not go see this movie in the theater. I figured that most of what I was reading was hype so I was expecting this to be fun but not great. No great loss missing it theatrically. WRONG! This was hands down the best horror movie I've seen this year. Seriously. And perhaps I am about to wave my chicken shit flag really high right now but Drag Me to Hell genuinely scared me! Out of all the movies that could scare me, this one did it. Oh it made me laugh too but seriously...SERIOUSLY!!
I'm almost ashamed to admit that.

But obviously not that ashamed.

In a a nutshell: Drag Me to Hell is about a loan officer Christine, who is probably the nicest woman to walk the planet, who denies an old woman an extension on her home loan. Unfortunately this old lady is a Gypsy who apparently has friends in low places and puts a curse on Christine to be dragged to Hell by the demon Lamina...hence the title of the film. Awesome Sam Raimi antics and some really scary moments ensue!

This movie really got under my skin. REALLY (Imagine my surprise when I found out it was rated PG-13...though I did watch the unrated version). I work in customer service and I'm always on edge waiting for that OH so special person to come in and make my life a living Hell. There have been times when I'm called every name in the book for just doing my job. This movie was my worst nightmare. Now I won't defend Christine's choice in denying the gypsy woman her loan. Morally, doing everything she could to help the lady was the right choice. But unfortunately Christine was having a rough day and appeared to be quite the door mat. And she picked the wrong day to assert herself.

Story wise its pretty basic but what I loved was how Christine was established to be the nicest woman you could meet. This made her plight to save her soul even more agonizing to watch. And watching her cling to that humanity inside her while the demon rains its terror down was fascinating. Alison Lohman created a great character arc going from meek doormat to assertive bitch the worse her situation got. It was touching, heartbreaking, and hilarious.

But this didn't mean that the film was all serious. The movie was laced with signature Sam Raimi gore and gags which had me both jumping and screaming. It was very reminiscent of Evil Dead 2 but walked a more refined line of terror and gags without getting full out goofy and campy...too often. Also, any movie with a cackling evil goat is cinema gold for me. The gore was also very effective, creative, and CLOWNISH! WOO! And while I did see the end coming, it filled me with so much suspense and dread that I watched it with my jaw hanging open. The film remained dark but never overly so which worked. Sometimes films can get so bleak that you wonder "why am I watching this? Its hopeless!" Not this one. I kept second guessing myself and despite what my gut told me, I was still stunned to watch it all happen.

I absolutely loved this movie. Yes it freaked me out. Yes I had nightmares about being cursed (Only in my dreams the gypsy cursed me to live in the Alaskan tundra with no TV or Internet for the rest of my days). But I was blown away by this film. This ranks in my top films of the year and I am going to run out and buy it on bluray as soon as the paycheck comes rolling in.

So my recommendation? See this immediately! I don't endorse blind buying movies at all but this one would be worth it!

Halloween Movie Madness! Week 7 - Zombieland

In case you missed it, Creepy Kitch is running a contest! Go here for more Details!



Holy Shit!
Am I ACTUALLY reviewing a movie I saw in the theater?
Did I actually CATCH a horror film IN the theater?!
This my friends...is a sign of the Apocalypse.

The hubby and I caught a showing of Zombieland last night. I've been chomping at the bit for this one since I saw the trailer online. and FINALLY we managed to get out and see it. I have to admit, this one is now in my top ten best zombie movies list.

A quick sum up: The movie follows a young man who goes by the nickname of Columbus. He explains to us his rules of staying alive. On his travels he meets up with the awesomely bad ass and wacky Tallahassee, the sexy and smart Wichita, and her scrappy little sister Little Rock. The team make their way across country to get to their destination, Pacific Playland in an attempt to recapture a time before the zombie Apocalypse. Great chases, an amazing cameo, and the search for Twinkies ensue.
As usual, there is SO much more to this movie than in my sum up.

The movie plays more as a character study film. The focus is mostly on Columbus, his growth as a character, and how he starts to open himself up to the other wacky people he is thrown together with. The real meat of the movie is the relationships these four start to build together. Its hilarious of course but Zombieland really surprised me with its depth, which made the comedy funnier and scares, scarier.
I've been noticing that many people compare Zombieland to Shaun of The Dead. I'm not sure why because other than the whole zombie factor, they are two completely different films. Shaun of the Dead has more in common with Romero films like Night of, Dawn of, and Land of. Its nihilistic in its comedy, has more of a beginning middle end sense of story, and of course, slow zombies. In that sense, Zombieland is closer related to 28 Days Later. It has a very optimistic message and the story concentrates more on the journey than the destination, and of course, zombies sprint like jack rabbits! This doesn't make it superior or worse than Shaun of the Dead but it certainly makes it different and it definitely stand on its own two legs.

Woody Harrelson stole the movie for me. He took what probably could have been an obnoxious scenery chewing character and played it straight. He gave Tallahassee a wonderful underlined humanity that would surface on occasion and even got me teary eyed at one point. This in turn made me love his bat shit crazy moments of zombie slaughter even more. I also want to give props to Abigail Breslin as Little Rock who never went into cute little kid or sassy tween actor territory in her performance. She was fantastic as a smart and resourceful twelve year old who was quickly aging beyond her years.

Zombieland has also one of the all time BEST cameos in a movie ever since Tom Cruise in Tropic Thunder. Seriously....I am so not giving this away because the cameo is so out of left field for this movie yet it seems to work so wonderfully with the style of script. If the rest of Zombieland was crappy, it would have been worth it just for that cameo. But luckily it was a great film all the way around.

So my recommendation? DEFINITELY see this one. Its one of those great horror comedies that even non horror/zombie fans can really enjoy and is even more enjoyable if you are a fan. I am planning on buying this one on bluray as soon as its out!

Halloween Movie Madness! Week 6 (CAUGHT UP!) - Dead Snow

So, I DID finally get to this damn movie last night.

And I squeezed it in right before Heroes.
DVR, you're awesome.



Dead Snow was recommended to me by Mike at The Cadaver Lab Podcast. I'm a huge zombie fan and I've only heard about this from a few blogger friends. All I knew was that it had zombie Nazis in it.
And honestly that's really all I need.
I'm a simple woman, with simple needs.



So in a nutshell: Dead Snow is about a group of med student friends who decide to vacation for the winter up in a secluded cabin in the mountains. Unfortunately, the entire area is full of Nazi zombies. Why Nazis? Well apparently during WWII Nazi soldiers occupied a small town until the town's folk drove them out by force up to that mountain side. I'm not sure WHAT turned them into zombies but I'm sure it wasn't pretty. Decapitations, gore, and a sex scene in an outhouse (AAAAAAHH!!) ensue.



I'll give you fair warning, Dead Snow starts out REALLY slow. There is a lot of set up getting into the film. We have our heroes settling in, playing winter sports and Twister, chatting each other up, having sex in an outhouse (UGGH! WHY?!), and finding out about the area's horrible past before we really get to the action. I tend to not mind long set ups for movies and I do like it when a film tries to create characters that are more than just gore fodder. But I do think some of the set up could have been cut. It started to drag a bit. But luckily, just when I was considering turning it off for a while to watch Heroes, Dead Snow starts moving like a freakin' freight train and I was glued to my TV. So stick with this movie, the payoff is great!



The zombies in Dead Snow were definitely not your typical zombies, fast or slow. Our zombie Nazi team lead by a creepy and non verbal Col. Herzog were agile, emotional, and very VERY intelligent. Zombies with motor skills are a terrifying thing indeed! Also, you could take one down with more than just a head shot which did give our human characters more of an even playing field. I'm not sure if you could call them zombies or just cursed because of these traits. But they did eat human flesh/brains. Its a discussion I will have to save for my other zombie enthusiast friends for another day.



The zombie fights were stellar! We had hammers, chainsaws, machine guns, and many other epic moments. They also did a few homage shots to Evil Dead while preparing for battle. While the movie was not what I would call a zom com, it did have some really hilarious moments and some amazing "AAAH! Right in the KISSER!" battles. And a bad ass sews up his own neck with a fishing hook and some duct tape. If that isn't balls, I'm not sure what is.



For zombie fans, this movie is worth the watch, even with the slow set up. It doesn't bring anything new to the genre but it is a lot of fun. Just hang in there through the game of Twister and the outhouse sex (WHO WOULD THINK THAT WAS A GOOD IDEA?!?!) and I assure you the payoff is nice.

Okay, I am caught up! And not a moment too soon! I'll be off to Las Vegas this week. AWWW Yeah. So play nice with Stac!...or actually..Stac, play nice with everyone!

Halloween Movie Madness! Week 5 - Hellraiser III: Hell on Earth

Okay, remember when I said I was going to review Dead Snow next?
Yeah, I lied.
TOTALLY lied to you all.
And I could give the lame reason of not knowing Dead Snow was subtitled and I couldn't watch it while cleaning the house.
LAME EXCUSE!
I'll watch it tonight possibly after Heroes.
Yes, I watch Heroes. Don't you judge me!
Even if I am a liar.
Okay...feel free to judge me.

ANYWAYS instead, while I was doing a ton of stuff, I popped Hellraiser III: Hell on Earth in since its been sitting in its Netflix envelope for about four months now. I know *GASP* a massive fan of Sir Pinhead and I never saw Hellraiser III? Well actually I have but only from the middle on and years ago. So now was the time to sit down and watch it from beginning to end.

Recap Time! So pretty much this takes place a while after Hellraiser II. A sleezoid club owner has bought a really creepy piece of art containing very familiar faces (well familiar to those who've seen Hellraiser I and II). Meanwhile a reporter, Joey, has witness a bizarre death of a club goer at a hospital in that chains ripping flesh sort of way. She plans to get to the bottom of it with the help of Terri, a young woman who is dumber than a bag of hammers. This of course leads to the box, Pinhead in a block of resin, and lots and LOTS of bloody death.
I could go into it more but there's a lot going on in this movie to really try to recap in one small paragraph.

As a stand alone movie, Hellraiser III ain't half bad. Its an interesting plot, the visual are great, and the special effects are really well done. Not to mention the new cenobites are pretty fantastic looking even if a bit gimmicky. I also loved seeing Doug Bradley play Eliot Spencer who seems like quite a stand up guy...well compared to Pinhead he was a stand up guy. Getting some more back story on Pinhead before he was Pinhead was great. I also liked Joey as a heroine and found myself rooting for her much more often than the bad guys. If I did not see the first two Hellraiser films before this I'd probably think is was really great.
But unfortunately I HAVE seen the first two Hellraiser movies before this. And I'm a huge fan of Hellraiser I and II. So this movie is a bit of a redheaded stepchild for me.
Now don't get me wrong, its wasn't bad and I didn't hate it. But compared to the first two it felt very pedestrian. The first two were so epic and unique it makes this one come across as a typical horror film. The passion and twisted feelings were gone and were replaced with just more gore and sex. And while the sex scene was more graphic, it really didn't even compare to the freaky passion in the first movie between Julia and Frank (which when you think about it, didn't really show much at all) .

The big thing that bugged me was the portrayal of Pinhead in this one. One of the main things I loved about El point-o face-o in the first films was how cold he was. He menaced with a cool calculation of a general. I liked his detachment. Its what set him apart from icons like Freddy and Jason. And that is what he lacked in this version of the film. Pinhead was a wee bit too gleeful in this. He cackled, he mugged at the camera, and he attempted some one liners which just came off as lame. To be frank, they cheapened my beloved Pinhead. One can argue that the reason Pinhead was not himself in this film was because his Eliot side was separated from him. I suppose you could look at it that way. But I did not enjoy the cackling over emotional Pinhead and I longed to give him some Thorazine.

So overall? I would recommend Hellraiser III mostly to finish up the trilogy that Clive Barker had some involvement in (I'm not sure how involved with III he was though). Its a fun film. But don't expect it to have the creativity and wow factor of the first two.

Halloween Movie Madness! Week 4 (finally) - Hatchet

See, I TOLD you I'd catch up.

So I finally managed to sit down and watch Hatchet. I've been reading about it periodically on blogs and hearing about it from various podcasts I listen to. Overall it has gotten a good rep. So I figured since this movie has been sitting in my Netflix instant cue for God knows how long, now is a good a time as any to watch it.

And it rocked.

In a nutshell: Our leading man was recently dumped by his girlfriend. In an attempt to cheer him up, his buddies take him to New Orleans during Mardi Gras thinking massive amounts of tit flashing will cheer him up. Instead, our hero rather go on a haunted swamp tour. An unfortunate chain of events (and many hilariously supporting characters along the way) leads the the tour to the house of Victor Crowley, a deformed and deranged hatchet wielding psycho. And the rest is slasher history.

Hatchet is one of those wonderful homage films to the 1980's slasher genre only it really gets it right by not trying to be ultra hip and trendy. Yes, its formulaic but it wouldn't be a good tribute if it wasn't. The makers of this film are obviously fans of the slasher genre and Hatchet is a love letter to the gems of the past. And while it does have some genuine scares, it plays as a tongue in cheek horror comedy that makes you both cringe and laugh. Hell, it even has appearances by Horror legends Tony Todd, Kane Hodder, and Robert Englund. My favorite being Tony Todd mainly because that man can STILL be sexy screaming obscenities in a creole accent and dressed like a mime on his wedding day...Oh and Kane Hodder is kind of adorable in that burly lumberjack sort of way when not in grotesque make-up .

My hormones are starting to take over this review. Lets move on.

What I loved so much about Hatchet was finally seeing a slasher film where all the characters are likable. In slashers you tend to secretly (or in some cases, not so secretly) root for our villain because lets face it, they can be charming and clown gore is awesome. Therefore most victims in slashers are nothing more than nerve grating two dimensional machete fodder. And while I'd hardly call the characters in Hatchet well rounded pieces of cinematic history, I liked them all and found each one entertaining in some way. And having that likability made the killings more gruesome and the chase scenes more intense.

Oh, and the clown gore. The glorious GLORIOUS clown gore!! I found myself more than once shouting "Oh my God! Did you SEE that?!" to absolutely no one in the room...unless you count my cat...and she wasn't there because she only watches John Carpenter horror movies. The effects were extremely well done and completely shocking. Much love goes out to the effects crew.

This movie also has one of the best insults ever. Now whenever some random chick gives me a hassle I'm going to tell her "Your nipples are dumb!". That will put her in her place.

So my overall impressions? This is really worth the watch. If you're a fan of the slasher genre and want to see a non pretentious fun film with awesome clown gore, definitely check out Hatchet.

And tomorrow I will post Week 5 - Dead Snow. WOOT!

Halloween Movie Madness! Week 3 - Reeker

Okay so I'm cheating just a bit. Since I knew I'd be moving this week I figured I'd watch two movies last week....JUST in case I couldn't get to one this week. I have a feeling I won't be getting to one this week.

But if I do, I'll post again! I know! You're all SO excited!

Contain yourselves.

Anways, I checked out Reeker on Showtime (Showtime has been a WEALTH of horror films lately!).

A quick overview: A group of stereotypical college kids are ride sharing to a Burning Man like get together in the desert. Unfortunately along the way their car breaks down by an abandoned motel. As they work to get the car up they begin to find terrifying things like people who are now only torsoes and a horrific odor following them. The odor belongs to The Reeker who is a creepy bastard with a BO problem and nasty looking weapons. Chaos ensues.

Not much of a synopsis but then its not much of a story. But despite its simplicity it wasn't horrible. Actually its better than I expected and I did like the slight twist ending that it had. Its hardly an award winner but its entertaining at times.

But what it did lack was...well coherency. Maybe I'm just dense (actually it probably IS because I'm dense) but there were a lot of moments that just made me tilt my head and say "...wha?". Random flashback scenes, strange moments of mangled bodies, some sort of subplot with a drug dealer following them are scattered through the film. Though most of this explains itself in the end, it confused me more than made me hunger for what it was all about and I ended up yelling "Explain yourself, movie!" at my TV more than once.

The characters were very two dimensional but not overly annoying...except the stoner guy...hated him. I especially liked our leading lady from South Africa, Gretchen, who turned into quite the bad ass near the end. And while the blond named Cookie (I kid you not) was a bit bland, she had a pretty awesome death scene in an out house. And for those of you who have seen this movie, did the weird contraption in the toilet remind anyone else of the trash compactor monster from Star Wars?

I have a feeling I just wasn't paying enough attention to this movie to really get into it. Oh wow, hows THAT for a review huh? "So I watched a movie and I'm reviewing it but I didn't really pay attention to it". I did watch it, but unfortunately Reeker dragged in enough places that I ended up getting distracted by shiny things on my carpet. There are long moments of things not happening. I'm sure they were trying to build suspense but it dragged. And there's a whole lot of set up in the beginning of the movie that I feel didn't pay off much. I wanted to see some slasher action and I felt it was trying to be something more but not really getting there.

But honestly? That out house death scene and the fight on top of the motor home at the end did make it worth my watch. The gore is pretty fun too. Not a ton of gore but what's there is well done. Also I did like the design of The Reeker too and if this movie had a stronger story I think we could have had a pretty good Horror villain to add to the top cannon.

While I wouldn't say "go out and buy this!" I think its worth watching on cable for some mindless fun. Its not horrible but its not memorable either.

I did hear the sequel, No Man's Land: Rise of the Reeker is a lot better than this one. did anyone see that?

Halloween Movie Madness Week 2! - Night of the Demons

Let us go back in time.

Let us go back in time to the glorious era when hair was large, eyeliner was considered macho, and boobs had not become %100 fake yet.
Yes dear reader, I am speaking of, the 80's.

Night of the Demons is an old school film I saw years and years ago when I began my decent into the horror movie world. I spotted it on FEARnet on demand last night and in a wave of nostalgia I ordered the sucker up. This movie is perfect Drunken Horror Movie Night fodder. And if you have not seen this cheesy gem you have no idea what you are missing!

In typical bad 80's horror movie tradition, the plot of this sucker is paper thin. The usual group of slutty teenage girls (and their virginal friend) and extremely obnoxious douche bag boyfriends (and the token black guy) all have a party in a demon possessed house. The rest I'm sure you can figure out. I love this movie purely for the fact that it has no shame. I truly believe the makers of this film knew they were going to make something cheesy and sleazy and said "Fuck the public! This is going to be epic!" And I assure you it was epic. Maybe not in a good way, but it was epic.

This movie has it all, kills, possession, tits, and extremely bad dancing. Seriously, the teenagers dance like the Peanuts gang if they were all goth. You can hear the Charlie Brown theme in your head as they dance the night away. It also has probably they most awesomely bad line in the world involving two convenient store clerks and sour balls.

And then there's Stooge.

The pig on the right...awwwww yeah.

How natural selection passed over this fine specimen is beyond my knowledge. Stooge is the father of all douche bags. All other douche bags after him were probably reproduced from his back hair when someone spilled water on him. His douche baggery is on an epic scale.

Hey Ladies, he's not single but he does screw around.

Don't you want to break off a piece of Stooge?

But you know what it has that is a wow factor I have never EVER seen in another horror film before? Brace yourselves.

It has a nipple that absorbs an entire tube of lip stick.

Let me repeat that.

This movie has a nipple that absorbs an entire tube of lip stick.

I think that sentence speaks for itself.
EQUINOX!!!

Once again, this film is far from a masterpiece. But if you love cheesy films and some hilariously bad acting go, nay, RUN to the Netflix and add Night of the Demons to your cue!

9...Not The District.

Once again...Cins is posting about a film that isn't really a horror film on a horror blog. I do strange things...for I am a strange person.

I really wanted to give a shout out for the movie 9.

I know what you're thinking. "Huh, 9 is an animated movie. Yeah its PG-13 but its still probably family fun fare that they're only advertising as serious and action-packed". At least that's what I was thinking when I saw the advertisements. Don't get me wrong. I'm a huge animation buff. In fact, Stac and I met in a Disney's Hercules chat room if that tells you anything about my love. But most main stream fantasy based animated features that claim to be for the older crowd tend to only include the word damn and have more fart jokes and a G rated film (*cough* Shrek *cough*). And while Pixar has made some extremely sophisticated films like Wall-E, The Incredibles, and Up, they are still very geared toward the younger set. Once again, nothing against family friendly since I loved all those movies. But when it came to 9, I expected the same deal. A few talking animals and possible fart jokes.

Boy I was wrong.

Dead wrong.

And I was never more pleased to be wrong.

I won't really go into the story of 9 because its very simple. Simple enough that people think its really thin. But I never thought of it as thin myself. It was shrouded in mystery through the beginning and only gave you teaspoons of information which keeps the audience intrigued. Not all the questions are answered in the film but that didn't bother me. I liked the mystery. It really worked. Also, its a fable and a cautionary tale. The story and characters are presented in a very broad archetypal manner and I believe it truly works that way, even more so when you find out how those little critters were created. The dialog is a little on the cheesy side but it didn't take you out of the moment and I felt worked for that fable feel.

The star of the movie was its breath taking visuals. The whole post-apocalyptic steampunk-esque world and its stitched together characters were so unique and beautiful that I had trouble blinking through the film, afraid I might miss something. Even if you're not a fan of the story, the visuals alone are worth the price of admission and the action sequences were terrifying and exciting (especially the "Somewhere Over the Rainbow" scene...go see it to understand what I mean).

Regardless of 9 not being a horror film, it does have some pure unadulterated scares in it and for a brief moment or two, this movie does dip into a horror realm. Therefore I felt it worth mentioning. 9 went there. I mean it. When other animated movies would just refer lightly to the death of the human race, 9 decides to push it a little further by adding some corpses. Also, a few of the violent scenes, while not graphic, were really jarring. It never pulled its punches one bit. If you have children under the age of 10, please think twice before bringing them to this film. This is "Watership Down" territory here when it comes to traumatising films for kiddies. And I heard quite a few little youngsters in the theater screech in terror how they wanted to leave during the beginning of the movie.

Plus, it had this thing.

And this thing is HORRIFYING.

Its a baby faced snake/spider thing that I'm sure is fueled off my fear when on the screen. I had a nightmare about this damn thing! I'm an adult. I can't even imagine how I would have reacted to this nightmare fuel at the tender age of 8.

Overall, I have fallen in love with this movie. It really proves what you can do in the medium of animation and that you do not always need a chatty raccoon or a farting unicorn for an animated film to work. 9 was advertised as a serious movie and that's what you get. A bleak view of our demise but a hopeful view of our rebirth. In my book, its up there with other wonderful post apocalyptic films like Mad Max and Dawn of the Dead. I really hope it finds its audience.

I HIGHLY recommend this movie.

Halloween Movie Madness! - From Dusk Till Dawn

Okay so I figured since Halloween is coming up, I would attempt...the key word here being attempt...to try to do something special. I considered trying to do the whole "horror movie a day" thing but the hubby and I just bought a house and every waking moment of my existence not spent at work as been spent painting, dry walling, and trying to get that dog wiz smell out of the living room. So I decided to try doing a horror movie a week.

Note the two words here...attempt...try. Yes my commitment level here is really low.

Regardless! I figured this would be a good opportunity to try and catch movies I've been wanting to see, but haven't gotten around to yet or never saw in full. Its that whole commitment thing again.

I started last night when From Dusk Till Dawn came on Showtime. I've seen this movie in clips but I never really sat down and watched it.

I don't care what I'm about to say ruins my street cred. I LOVED watching this movie.
Is it the best vampire movie ever made? Nope. Probably not even close. But From Dusk Till Dawn is a Hell of a lot of fun! I believe this movie began the holy union of Robert Rodriguez and Quentin Tarantino. Without this movie, there would be no Grindhouse and in my mind that would be a crime indeed! The two work seamlessly together in this film blending Rodriguez's flashy direction with Tarantino's wordy, dirty dialog into this insane horror/action movie.

The gist of the story is as follows. The Gecko Brothers are on a crime spree. After Seth's problematic brother Richard botches a hostage situation in probably THE worst way one could they take a father who was a former pastor, and his two kids hostage instead. The group go to a truck stop/brothel/strip club/herpes dispenser in the middle of nowhere to meet one of Richard and Seth's partners in crime. Unfortunately this place is infested with vampires. And not Anne Rice angsty ones either. Bloody shenanigans ensue.

Honestly the main reason I loved this movie was because of its balls to the walls bad assery. Was it believable? Nope. Were the characters insanely in depth and Oscar winning? Nope. But what it did have was great action moments and some really charming characters despite them being a titch on the cardboard side. I enjoyed the fact that George Clooney decided to play an a-hole like Seth during a time his clean cut good guy image was at its peak. This is one of the reasons I like George Clooney...that and the movie Oh Brother Where Art Thou?. But even with Seth being the a-hole he is, you still really liked him, which I felt was important. If Seth wasn't likable this movie would have probably been knocked down quite a few pegs for me.

Now I'm not saying it didn't have its flaws. After all Quentin Tarantino did have a lead role in this. Frankly, I can only take so much of that man's face for so long before I'm hoping he gets killed in some way. Quentin, you're a wonderful director and one of my favorite people to watch in interviews but hon, acting isn't your strongest suit. Stick with the one scene rolls. Also, I wanted more screen time with Fred Williamson and Tom Savini.

But the good out numbered the bad and despite the flaws, I LOVED it!...Keep in mind I did have almost half a bottle of wine while watching this movie though. It only added to the fun.

By the way, if the movie was a complete bust? I would have still sat through it just for this moment.


So final verdict? From Dusk Till Dawn is a really fun popcorn flick! It won't change your life or revolutionize the genre, but if you want to watch something that has blood, boobs, and guns, its worth checking out on Netlflix.

Review-The Ruins or Eh..wasn't as bad as I expected.

Oh don't get me wrong, it wasn't the best flick ever. But it did keep me entertained for about %70-%80 of the movie. I mean if anything it would have given me good mocking material, right? I was expecting painfully awful. What I got was mediocre...which actually wasn't too bad considering my expectations.


This will contain spoilers.

Synopsis - After a rousing night of drinking, sleeping with each other, and mocking the locals, a group of young American tourists think it would be cool to visit some lost ruins. Why? I have no idea. Possibly to fuck in them I suppose. But it turns out there are more to these ruins than means the eye I.E. Man eating plant life! AHHHH! And a group of natives stand guard and refuse to let them leave looking about as bored as the night watchman at your local strip mall.

See that? We are SO going to fuck in there.

Okay okay, I'm mocking it. Its kinda hard not to when a movie feels like a cross between Day of the Triffids and armature surgery night on the Discovery channel.

So, the Good.
The best parts about this movie are anything to do with the plants. Granted, its very hard to make grandma's creeping ivy appear terrifying but the movie does do a good job on making them feel threatening. Through the movie you notice the vines are slowly creeping up our our merry band of douche bags making their space smaller and smaller. And even the CGI when the vines do start to move doesn't come across as super cheesy. The only thing that I did chuckle at were how the flowers could imitate sound. It was a little weird but it seemed to work after a while and add the the creepiness of these plants.
The gore was very well done and even made me twitch and cringe a couple times. We have someones legs getting amputated with a hunting knife, we have a crazy blond chick cutting herself up in a mad blood covered frenzy, a couple heads get blown off, and of course we had plants slowly getting inside of people. Nope, no plant rape. But we do have moments of vines crawling into peoples wounds, people trying to cut out said vines, and vines generally doing weird things to bodies. I'm probably in the minority here but I have an aversion spidery vines trying to grow on you. Don't ask why because I have no clue were I developed that fear. My guess is when I watched Creep Show for the first time. But they definitely don't do the typical lash out and grab routine you very often at all. Its more like you wake up and suddenly you have vines all over you. They are stealthy ninja plants!

Don't judge my irrational fears.

The subplot of the natives being there to keep the plants from spreading had a lot of potential. I liked the idea of these vines being like a zombie virus. If any plant residue escaped, we'd all be making some sweet sweet vine love... Unfortunately this went no where which I will touch on shortly.

And The Bad
Despite the fact that the best part of the movie were the plants, the plants really didn't do too much which disappointed me. But I suppose we couldn't have too much plant action or the film would have been 30 minutes long. There was no doubt in my mind that this group could not out wit a plant. Seriously. I knew they were fertilizer the moment they came on screen. Still I longed for more plant action. Maybe this movie would have been better as a short film.
The characters...I mean come on. There was not one appealing character in the entire film. Everyone was a douche bag! Sometimes its fun to watch jerks get their comeuppance but you need to at least sympathise a bit with someone to feel the terror. I found myself thinking "Oh thank God they're dead now I don't have to listen to them whine!". While I know that they all had names, I could not remember a damn one. I classified them as No legs, The screechy blond, Lindsey Lohan's stunt double, The guy with the crow magnum brow, Dead meat, and the Hobbit. Though I have to admit I did like the screechy blond simply because the scene where she goes completely out of her mind was awesome.

And I bet you can pick out four of who I described.

The Ending....I mean COME ON. What the Hell?! Now at the beginning of the film we the viewers are given the impression that no one will escape the ruins because if any plant life gets out and spreads it becomes more or less like a zombie virus. And our American tourists are covered in plant dust. They even emphasise this more when a plant touches one of the natives children and they shoot him dead instantly. So the tourists have this great escape plan which is the horror equivalent of the"dressing in drag and doing the hula" routine while one of our heroes runs to safety. She runs! Gets into the jeep! She drives! She's free!!....and that's it.....Okay....so where's the pay off for that whole the plants cannot spread subplot you've been bugging us with? Hell if I know. And that subplot was something I thought was really interesting too. Yet it just gets tossed out the window.
I also wonder if anyone thought about bees when they came up with that subplot.

Anyways, The Ruins was okay but nothing I would get over excited for. It had some good gore moments so its worth checking out for that I suppose. Otherwise I would either catch it on cable or wait until it ends up on Hulu.
But if you do deside to watch it you at least get a payoff of some really good plant action

Session 9 or GET OUT OF MY HEAD, MOVIE!!!

Some movies scare me. Some movies make me think. And some movies get into my head and fuck around in there until I want to tear at my skull with an ice pick because it won't go away.

Session 9 is the third type of movie. I cannot stop thinking about it. Since last night after I turned it off to when I was in the shower this morning to right now as I type this review. Questions, visuals, and sounds keep swimming in my thoughts which not only make me discover more about the movie but also makes the movie more frightening with every thought I have.

Out of my head, movie!

Of course it didn't help that I was watching this alone, in the dark, at my computer, while Stac was on YIM telling me how many nightmares this movie gave her. AH the power of suggestion! Remind me to never watch something recommended by Stac in the dark again...EVER.

If you find me curled up in a fetal position in my closet, rocking back and forth as I drool on my own shoulder you'll KNOW who's fault it is.

The movie is a simple film if you try to write a synopsis. A team of asbestos workers are hired to work on an old broken down mental hospital so it can be used for office space. One of the workers finds audio tapes of therapy sessions with a patient named Mary. Mary suffers from multiple personalities and one in particular, Simon who doesn't show up until Session 9. Meanwhile, shenanigans...horrible horrible shenanigans occur to our team. To say more will be to give the movie away. And part of the fuckery of this movie is the surprises it has.

The film is one of those wonderful less is more type of movies. There is very little gore and absolutely no cat scares at all. But the very few moments of violence are intense and disturbing. You expect some evil thing to pop out of a door and scream in your face but there is never a heart stopping scare. What you do get is this overpowering feeling of dread, horror, and fear that suffocates you until you finally give in. The visuals are simply stunning using stark lighting, creepy rusting old furniture, and dilapidated rooms.

What I loved (and what disturbed me the most) about Session 9 was its use of sound. The use of screams in everyday sounds, the sounds of victims in their death throws, the strange tones of Mary's personalities, and the off putting music created the environment of the movie, making mundane images feel strange and alien.

The long shots that follow our actors from doorways to windows, sweeping across vistas of blackness as they pass a wall or a hallway make the viewer feel like someone was watching the team or workers at all times. In fact someone WAS watching them at all times. But I can't say who or it will give everything away.

The movie is all questions. From the beginning and almost to the very end. While the ending does wrap up the lose ends, it still leaves just enough mystery for the viewer to think "huh...wait..did what I see really happen?".

...crap I'm not sure what else to say about the movie without giving it away...
So before I give away spoilers and you don't want to read further let me say that if you like movies full of total mind fuckery this is a movie to check out. Don't let the slow pace and the beginning fool you. Its really freaky.

If you've seen the movie or if you like spoilers, continue on down.

SPOILERS!

Do not read further if you hate spoilers!

To tied you over, here's a picture of a kitten.

And a watermelon.

And a kitten with a watermelon.

Okay...Back to my thoughts.

So I went to do some research on IMDB...if you can call it research. What you usually find on IMDB are screeching Internet harpies claiming "OMG! This Movy is SOO nut SCARRY!!1!" on every message board. But if you wade through the crap, you can sometimes find a decent interesting post.

While reading through the forums I found that numerous people assumed that Simon was a demon. That Simon possessed Mary as a child during a moment of trauma and convinced her to kill her family. When our team of workers came in to tear the hospital apart, it awoke Simon and he took over Gordon and the cycle continued. I think that's a reasonable conclusion since the film is so ambiguous in its ending. But it really isn't the conclusion I came to.

I never really saw Session 9 as a supernatural horror film. Its creepy, strange and horribly unnerving but I really didn't see any supernatural elements in it. For me Simon isn't a demon but that deep, dark, nasty side that lurks in all of us. That dark side that threatens to come out whenever we're subject to trauma or pain or an overabundance of stress. Simon said "I live in the weak and the wounded". Both Mary and Gordon were weak and wounded. And when their time came, Simon took over and convinced them to kill. For me, knowing that Simon is an entity that lurks in all of us is far scarier than a demon someone happened to stumble upon.

I also found that the use of the camera movements were very symbolic of what was happening to Gordon. Throughout the movie he was losing his mind. He was always lurking about the building, watching his fellow team mates even though the audience never knew so. The camera would take on a voyeur style of filming with the other characters. But whenever Gordon was in the shot or the primary focus it went back to standard movie shots. VERY subtle and VERY clever.

I really don't know why this movie got me in the gut as hard as it did. But it REALLY did. Possibly because I don't like discussing my dark side. Oh I KNOW its there but I rather not have it come out. Session 9 gives us the idea that anyone at any time can turn into a monster. You can give to charity, have a loving family,or be a product of total normalcy but it still cannot stop that horrible monster from coming out of you and killing everyone. Everyone at some point feels weak and wounded and everyone at some point will fight the urge to let Simon take over.

Personally I don't want to deal with my inner Simon.

Session 9 makes you ask a lot of questions, not just about the film but about yourself as well.

Definitely worth the watch. And to sweeten the deal you can watch the entire movie on Hulu.com for free...like I did.

Trust me...its worth it.

Just don't watch it alone...in the dark....while Stacy is poking you on YIM about how this movie will drive you insane.

Okay we weren't just talking about that. We were also talking about our creepy Japanese Dolls but STILL!

The next damn film I'm going to watch is going to MUCH more light hearted.

...I have the sudden urge to pop in Nightmare on Elm Street to cleanse my pallet.

Review-The Midnight Meat Train

An Open Letter:

Dear Clive Barker,
May I please have your creepy children? I know you're gay but I'm sure we can figure something out.
Yours in Fan-girliness,
Cins


The Midnight Meat Train was one of those movies that I've been wanting to see for ages. Every blog I read raved about it, my friends raved about, and every damn person seemed to have seen it except for me! This is because I appear to be on a 3 month delay with horror films. Seriously. I am usually the last to know about and see them. This does not bode well for Drag Me to Hell (Note to self, drag someone to Drag Me to Hell.). I'm so last season. I know.

Midnight Meat Train is an insane film based off the short story by Clive Barker and directed by Ryuhei Kitamura. This is where I give my general synopsis but I'm not sure if I can really sum up this film in a few words. Basically its about a young photographer, Leon played by Bradley Cooper who encounters and becomes obsessed with a mysterious and frightening man named Mahogany played brilliantly by Vinnie Jones. Many hard left turns, gore, and really fucked up shit follows. I make it sound so simple but trust me its not. I'm trying not to give any spoilers so this review will probably sound pretty vague.

This movie, like an onion, has many layers. And I do believe I will need to watch it again to really get the full impact of it all. I went in expecting a film on par with some of Barker's lesser works. What I got was a movie that was right up there with his greats like Candyman and Hellraiser. Midnight Meat Train is basic in its story but takes that and builds strange layers and situations making it a far more complex film than the usual horror fare. At the beginning of the film you truly believe that you know where it's going. Then things change and you realize that maybe you're just not sure if that IS the direction its going to go. Its hardly an M. Night Shyamalan twist film but it does throw a couple of curve balls at you that make you say "WHOA!" "GAH!" and "I Think I Wet 'Em!"...well maybe not the third one...depending on your bladder. The screenplay never talks down to its audience and it never spells out the information all at once. You get glimpses here and glimpses there of information until the pieces all come together at the end.

The film also holds the Barker trademark elegant gore that I so adore; bloody, gooey, poetic, and grotesque. We have buckets of dark sticky blood against beautiful stark colored images, bodies hanging upside down on the subway train like sides of beef, tumors in a jar, and countless other moments of nightmare fuel. Even though Barker didn't direct the movie, Ryuhei Kitamura was conscious enough to know that you needed to have that element of elegance to really pull off a Clive Barker story. I wouldn't call it the usual Gothic gore that Barker does. The look is far more slick and modern but it still has that feeling of art. Kudos, man. Sometimes its a bit heavy on the CGI (*cough* flying eyeball *cough*) but the director does use that to his advantage and tries to makes cheap CGI appear more like a comic panel or painting, going for more surrealistic visuals than full out realism. 9 times out of 10 it works beautifully.

But lets get to the "meat" of this review....horrid joke I know. I will slap myself later.
Vinnie Jones as Mahogany has created one Hell of a horror villain icon! This was a wonderful character. The character only says 3 or four words they entire movie but he conveys paragraphs with his eyes. A big hulking man in a beige suit, intense eyes, and a quiet way about him. The phrase "Its the quiet ones you have to watch" was created for him, I'm sure. Mahogany is a beautifully terrifying and sad horror film villain. Though I'm not sure if you can really call him a villain. You soon realize he's as much a victim as everyone else. Yet he never falls into the woe as me poor widdle bad guy trap which could lessen his impact. You are always terrified of him and his impeccably shiny and clean meat tenderizer...hopefully I didn't give too much away. I never was afraid of meat tenderizers, then I saw Midnight Meat Train.

If you have not seen The Midnight Meat Train (though I have the sneaky suspicion that I am the last to have seen it) its definitely worth the rental. Actually I think its worth buying the DVD full price! And trust me, I can be a cheapskate so that's saying a lot from me. Check this classic out!


On a different note, Monsters and Madmen tie breaking results will be posted tomorrow. Thank you Johnny for breaking the dang tie!

30 Days of Night. The Book vs the Movie

This is long winded folks..Get comfortable!

When 30 Days of Night was announced, I became really excited. This was because it looked like an honest to God SCARY vampire film. As some of you who have been following the blog, I have a general indifference towards the vampire genre. Vampires just don't do it for me really. While I find the concept intriguing, I never found the species that frightening at all. Angsty, poetic, and mysterious? Sure. Scary? Well you might as well dress my 8th grade poetry loving English teacher up in a cape and have her "lurk" at me. That would probably induce the same amount of fear that a vampire would.

But 30 Days of Night?

Aw yeah. Promising.

30 Days of Night looked on par with Near Dark (The only vampire movie to ever scare me.). So I researched the film like a good little nerd and found out that 30 Days was based on a graphic novel of the same name. Double geek score! And of course, the one thing I wanted to do was dig my meat hooks into the graphic novel before the film came out. Luckily one of our readers and good friend of mine, Nojh sent me the box set of the 30 Days of Night graphic novel trilogy. I promised him my first born son and since he didn't want that I promised to buy him some Anime he wanted...which I have yet to deliver on. Unfortunately these novels solidified my now tried and true rule. Never read the book before seeing the movie! Because about 99% percent of the time the movie is just a dim comparison of the material its based upon. For me 30 Days of Night the movie was in that 99%. Damn it all. Now don't get me wrong, 30 Days of Night isn't a crap film. It's actually pretty well done. The problem is, the graphic novel is better. And my expectations going in to see this film were a bit high.

For those of you who do not know the graphic novel or the film BEWARE! THAR BE SPOILERS AHEAD!!

The Graphic Novel of 30 Days of Night is virtually the exact same story as the film. A group of vampires descend on the small Alaskan town of Barrow during the winter when the sun is down for 30 days. Chaos and blood ensues. The interesting thing about 30 Days the graphic novel is that its written like a fable. The action is briefly described and the characters are a bit vague. Its less a fleshed out piece of literature and more of a cautionary tale told over a campfire. You can get through each book in a day. What carries the novel is the beautifully grotesque art and the story line. After reading this I felt it was perfect to put to film. With many other books to movie adaptations you lose a lot of the small details, subplots, and character quirks leaving the Cliff Notes addition to fill the screen. But with 30 Days of Night, you can easily transfer the fable like story to the screen without losing a thing. You even have room for additions too. The attack on the town was not very detailed in the novel and relied on the moody art to covey its terror. In a film version you have room to expand. And 30 Days, the film did do this its benefit. The attack sequences were wonderful. The first couple being mauled, the good friend hiding under the house after he's been turned, the old senile man constantly stepping out of hiding forgetting the situation, and my favorite and the one that really gets under my skin, the "human bait" scene. Each one of these scenes were perfectly orchestrated for suspense and terror. Also, the portrayal of the vampires were spot on. The shark eyed, mouth full of razors, animalistic blood suckers were perfect to give me the chills. Finally, a screen vampire (that wasn't Bill Paxton) to scare me! Danny Huston was perfect as the lead vampire Marlow. He was everything I'd want in a vampire leader; creepy, calculating, cold blooded...slightly attractive which really disturbs me about how I think. The addition of the vampires speaking their own language was also stellar and alienated the audience even more from them.

So what went wrong for me?

While the film did do a great job expanding the action and terror, it ignored some really great and even franchise building character moments that were in the book. The book was written fable style, but there were two great subplots that were completely ignored in the film; the vampire hunters and the other vampires. Also, the portrayal of our two heroes in the film, Eben and his wife Stella didn't sit well with me either.

The novel had two subplots that were pretty fantastic. And while I understand that in most book to movie adaptations subplots sometimes have to be removed for time and streamline factors, 30 Days the movie really didn't have to omit them. The movie had plenty of room to include both subplots but still keep the story streamlined and keep the running time under two and a half hours.The vampire hunter subplot was small but lead into a huge plot point in the second novel, which I heard was in the works for a movie. In 30 Days, the novel we're introduced to a woman and her son in New Orleans who are Hell bent on proving to the world that vampires exist. They find out about the attack on Barrow and the son heads off on a mission to not save the the down but only to document the attack and come back to report to the world. I felt this subplot gave the audience a larger scope of the vampires. They didn't just pop up in Alaska, they were everywhere. And from a commercial standpoint, this would give a great lead in to a movie sequel.

The other vampires was a subplot that I really felt was needed to give the vampires a bit more depth. While I loved how they were portrayed as pack animals, the idea that they had enough human in them to be organized and calculating was the scary part. We had glimpses of their intelligence in the film. The graphic novel expanded on this more. We found out that not only where there more vampires than Marlow's little band of misfits but that all the other vampires were really pissed off at Marlow's plan for an Alaskan feeding orgy feeling it will expose their species to humans. This ended in a creepy show down between Marlow and the head honcho of the vampire world right in the middle of Barrow which eventually lead to a good chunk of the town's destruction. This also lead to a rather large war between the humans and the vampires in the second book. While I can understand omitting the vampire hunter's subplot since it can be glazed over in the second movie, I felt the other vampires subplot really added to the overall mood of the piece and was pretty vital to the essence of the vampires. It also made a much better reason for the vampires to burn the town than Marlow's sudden change of heart about what they were doing.

I also wasn't too happy with the portrayal of Eben and Stella in the film. When reading 30 Days the graphic novel Eben and Stella were happily married. Not only happily married but I also had the feeling that they were much older possibly in their late thirties or early forties. The stars of our film Josh Hartnett and Melissa George appeared to be much younger. Not only younger but hyper good looking. I'm sure this sounds like a nit picky thing but I felt making the two main characters of the movie young and hot pushed 30 Days the film into typical horror movie cliche land. Who will save us? The beautiful people of course! They were fine in their rolls but I craved to have older more experienced actors as Eben and Stella. They were the sheriffs in the harsh Alaskan territory. I'm not saying all Alaskans are beaten and withered but I am saying is that you'd have a wee bit more experience in your eyes than your average beautiful movie star. Also, was it necessary to have them be separated? It seemed like just another typical movie cliche to have their marriage in turmoil only to be brought back together by crisis. We've seen it so many times in movies (Die Hard, Outbreak, Saw 3, etc etc.) Why not have the older married couple that was portrayed in the graphic novel? To me that seems more mundane and makes the crisis they encounter twice as terrifying.

I'm sure it sounds like I'm tearing this movie a new one. It really isn't a horrible film. And if I had never read the graphic novel first, chances are I'd have liked it a lot more than I do. I do recommend it to anyone who is curious about it. But unfortunately its not a classic like Near Dark is. It feels shallow. Fantastic creatures and great suspense but without the extra bits of character it needs to back it all up. If they only kept in most if not all the nuances of the novel I really believe it could have been a classic vampire film. Right now, I can only classify it as "Good and worth a rental".