My Nine Iron is an Extension of My Penis.

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SkullyBoom Love

This logo wins for being EXACTLY what they sell.

They don't know it, but SkullyBoom was invented for me. I managed to wreck my Saturn last winter (in the stupidest way possible, though thankfully one that minimized any risk of human damage), and got a newer car with a mix of insurance money and my older brother. My newer car, a white Ford dubbed The Boo Mobile, is quite posh for someone who has only ever owned used cars. Keyless entry, working A/C, low mileage. It also has a killer speaker system, but the car is schizo in a way that makes these speakers virtually useless, because I have no way to connect my iPod to them. For some reason the tape deck won't play the cassette adapter that I used before, and when I tried an FM adapter, it turned out my cigarette lighter, the source of power for said adapter, is dead. Why? Who the fuck know. And I'm sure you, the reader is probably adding who the fuck cares to that statement.

You care because that led me to the glorious world of external speakers, 99% of which are total crap for a moving car. EXCEPT for SkullyBoom. I bought one of their speakers on pre order, long before I trashed my previous car, so clearly an external force was at work here. Initially purchased to use while doing house work and as something that my nieces and nephews could use with my iPod, this speaker saved me from hours upon hours of boredom.

I'll be honest: I only bought the speaker for two initial reasons: 1: to support a small, growing business, and 2: I fuckin' loved that it was skull shaped. But it's also the loudest speaker for its size I've ever heard, and it is also the clearest, something crucial for in-car use. There's no separate volume control for the speaker itself, instead the volume is entirely dependent on the MP3 player's volume setting. The other straight up awesome feature: no batteries! You charge it on your computer, and from experience I can tell you that the charge lasts for a long time. I can usually get to and from my sister's house, 6 hours round trip, without needing a charge.

This is the same color speaker I have. The eyes are the actual speakers, and my model is either strung out, like above, or totally baked.

But the best part of SkullyBoom, in my opinion, is their customer service. I got my speaker in January, and it broke in May. When I contacted them they had me return it, and then got me a new one IN THREE DAYS. That is some seriously AWESOME turn around, and for that reason I wear my SkullyBoom decal on my car, and happily!

If you're looking for a great, LOUD little speaker, then head over to skullyboom.com, and tell 'em we sent you! Now if I could just get them to make ear buds so I can stop using Skull Candy's crap..

New Murder Dolls!

I still need Clio and Deuce. :(

Mattel hit a stroke of awesome recently, and my wallet is going to pay, with pain, if need be. This article is hard to write because I have a cat butt in my face. Apparently my neck/chest is the best and warmest seat in the house, according to Salem. This new doll line is called Monster High, and the dolls are the teenaged daughters (and a few sons. Prom IS coming, after all.) of famous monsters. They are also fucking adorable.

The main four and easiest to find are Draculaura, Clawdeen, Frankie Stein, and Lagoona Blue; I'm sure you can parse what child belongs with whom. I lucked out over Halloween and was able to get all four at my local Fred Meyer's who did a buy one get one free sale-- apparently Freddy's wasn't feeling too confident over their saleability. But when I went back later in the season the dolls were all gone, and there were none in the after Halloween corpse, though there were plenty of Halloween Barbies marked down.

These dolls are seriously cute, and one thing I really like is that they have their own mold-- they're not retrofitted Barbies or Bratz dolls. They're very jointed, especially on their arms, and each has her own little special touch. Frankie's eyes are different colors and she has stitching all over her limbs, Clawdeen has pierced wolf ears (and no human ears, a nice touch), Draculaura has elf ears as well as fangs (along with Clawdeen), and Lagoona has little, transparent, removable fins on her arms and legs.

Another touch I liked is that each of their fashion styles has its own flavor. All of them are very "fashion doll chic", of course, but in that continuum there are little touches of individuality. Lagoona's look is surfer casual (with heels, but somethings are endemic to fashion dolls), Draculaura is sort of new wave happy goth. Clawdeen is very animal print fashionista, and Frankie has a Hot Topic punk touch with lots of plaid. Each character also has her own back story, and comes with her little diary.

What we have here is a very charming doll line, and perfect for creepy little (or big) girls to play with. Eventually I'm going to get a shelf to display them in my living room, and I may get a doll for either my goddaughter or one of my nieces for Christmas, depending. Next year an extended line is slated, featuring Ghoulia, the zombie girl, and more boys, thankfully. I always hated having ten Barbies to one Ken; it always made sex in the Barbie Dream bed awkward with everyone watching... ah, childhood memories.

Bottom line: this dolls are adorable, and we really need to encourage this trend in dolls! I NEED MORE CREEPY! And if you don't support them you'll awake one night to the the enraged gaze of Creepy Murder Dolls.

Thank about THAT before you snub Mattel!

I Had Such Plans..

SUCH PLANS!

But school effectively crushed those dreams, like a technicolor cockroach under the heel of monotone conformity.

So FUCK IT, sez I! I shall post all of my glorious Halloween nonsense now, now that I am freed of two of the three research papers I had due this quarter!

So stay tuned and comment often, lest you wake in the night and find the terrifying image of myself and Cins, standing at the foot of your bed, fondling a slab of bacon, and muttering dark, broken things that you simply do not want to hear! Also, if you're a boy, I will totally make you wear girl clothes. My little brother can tell you stories on my prowess in this endeavor.