Friday, November 28, 2008

Unhealthy Attractions - BONUS MATERIAL!

I was planning on doing a quick write up on the movie Stir of Echoes today. But there is NO way I can follow up Stac's post with anything remotely interesting. Because now all I'm thinking about is Michael Myers wang and its becoming upsetting. Typing about the movie? Cleaning up the apartment? Giving my husband a sweet kiss on the cheek as he heads to work? All of it shadowed over with the horrible image of gray hulking Halloween peener in my head.

So instead I decided to post BONUS material of the chat Stac and I had about her article below. Maybe it will give you some insight on our beloved Stac's psyche. Or maybe it will just be full of sex jokes. Actually, its just full of sex jokes.

Maybe tomorrow I can post something that won't make me think of Michael Myers one eyed Shattner snake....I wonder if it wears a teeny mask?

On Freddy Kruger:
Stac: Okay, who all do I want to do in the horror pantheon?
Stac: The phantom of the opera, Pinhead, Micheal Myers, for some horrible reason,
Stac: Uhh...
Cins: Freddy?
Stac: Naw. Besides, I'm a tad old for him.
Cins: True. You do have to be at most 15 for him. Oh God, I'm going to Hell.
Stac: Plus, he strikes me as a biter. I'm the biter, dammit!
Cins: He may no longer have a penis either.
Cins: I and all.
Stac: And fingering is absolutely out of the question.
Cins: What about with the other hand?
Stac: Would You trust him?
Cins: ...touche.

On Candyman:
Cins: OH! Candyman! Duh!
Cins: I mean come one..Candyman was hot.
Stac: OH!! OH HELL YES!! Thanks!!
Cins: At least his voice was hot. The hook? Looked a bit unsanitary. But maybe you could just make him talk dirty to you for a while.
Cins : Need I point out that most hot horror icons come from Clive Barker?

On Jason Voorhees:
Cins: Jason I think would be too....gooey.
Stac: Think if you did Jason he'd try to machete HIMSELF to death?

On Norman Bates:
Cins: Norman Bates?
Cins: I'm surprised by that one.
Stac: Yeah, when I was about 10.
Stac: My mother was NOT pleased when I told her that.
Cins: You wanted to have sex with Norman Bates when you were 10 years old....
Cins: I think I just snorted Wine through my nose.
Stac: Well I wanted to kiss him. And cuddle him.
Stac: Naked.
Stac: Tightly
Cins: This explains so much...

On Peloquin from Nightbreed:
Cins: OH Man..Peloquin from Nightbreed...Oh...yeah.
Stac: Fuck, talk about a biter!
Cins: OOOOOOOHH yeah!
Stac: Yeah, I'll put Peloquin on the list.
Cins: You BETTER put him on the list!
Stac: I have, I have! You psycho!
Cins: WHAT?! He's Hot! I mean monsters don't do much for me but COME ON!!!
Stac: Plus his skin hair reminds me of my Willie the Waterbug toy when I was little!
Cins: Oh wow...that's like...really wrong.

On The Title of the Article:
Stac: Okay, what should I call this article, do you think?
Stac: Stupid Urges?
Cins: Unhealthy Attractions.
Cins: Part ONE?! How many hard ons for freakzoids do you have?!
Stac: I was thinking I'd cover sexy villains in books and stuff, too.
Cins: SO glad no zombies are on that list.....


BonesawLtd said...

Umm... Get ready for comment that made me laugh my ass off in 3...2...1:

Maybe tomorrow I can post something that won't make me think of Michael Myers one eyed Shattner snake....I wonder if it wears a teeny mask?

I do think that you are as twisted as they come :)

Hel said...

Oh lordy, do I have something to add on this subject. I just finished rewatching "Hannibal" and man, I know it's not sane or decent, but I couldn't help myself from finding this scene to be just sooo romantic...and yes, it made my lady bits tingle.

And here's an alternate version, also full of sexy wrongness.

Stac said...

Bonesaw-- She talks like this IN REAL LIFE. Seriously. Disneyland gets weird FAST with her. ;)

Hel-- I always knew you were a sick, sick woman. You're where you belong here. ;)

Cins said...

Stac>>I'M Not the one who threatened to kill someone in the Happiest Place on Earth.;)

Hel>>Oh Crap, I forgot about that scene. I'll have to agree. It's kinda hot. But then I've always like that sick relationship between Starling and Lecter.

Stac said...

Cins-- SHE DESERVED IT AND YOU KNOW IT! And your husband was going to help me the next year!

Hel-- Hannibal just made my brain itchy, I haven't watched it since it was in theaters; should I give it another twirl 'round the dance floor?

Hel said...

Stac: Brain...itch...HEHEHEE. But how does it TASTE?

It is a weird-ass movie. Not as good as Silence by any means, but not nearly as bad as people give it credit for either. But then, I read the book first and fell in love with its batshittery, so I'm biased. Gary Oldman is hideous and totally unrecognizable for 99% of the movie, which is a shame (for me, anyway). There's a middle bit involving a Roman policeman that slows things up a lot. But Lecter is in top form and the final act makes the whole thing worthwhile, as far as I'm concerned. I'd suggest that you give it another look see, or at least get it and then fast forward to the end.