Wednesday, November 25, 2009

Creepy Kitch is 1 Year Old!

Mmmm....zombie head cheese.

Well Technically it will be Creepy Kitch's Birthday tomorrow. But since tomorrow's Thanksgiving, both Stac and I will probably be stuffing our bellies full with Turkey and the blood of young virgin men. Still one year of blogging is nothing to sneeze at, especially since Stac and I have the attention spans of kittens on cocaine. It seems like just yesterday I IMed Stac with "Hey..I got an idea."

I wanted to give some quick shout outs to a few people in particular:

Nojh: He's our die hard regular in the comments section. Thanks for always giving us a read, sticking with us from the begining. and striking up some wonderful conversations around here!

Johnny from Freddy In Space: Johnny has been busy as heck lately but he still has found the time to always promote us or give us blogger advice. Without him or Freddy In Space there would probably be no Creepy Kitch. So thanks Johnny, for all the inspiration! You set the bar for us and hopefully we'll rise to it!

Mike and Sam from Cadaver Lab: You guys rule. You've been our cheerleaders and you always give us shout outs on your podcast whenever you can. And we REALLY appreciate it. Stac and I always get warm fuzzies when you mention our blog in glowing terms...hell we get warm fuzzies even when you talk about our perversions. Thank you for all of that!

To ALL our Readers: I wanted to give a shout out thanks to all you folks who have been reading us for this long or have just popped in and decided to stay. You guys make this blog fun for us! We have a small group of readers but all of you guys have been awesome. Thank You!

And a special shout out from Cins to her partner in crime, Stac: Stac, you're the best writer on here and I could not have been able to keep this thing going a whole year without you. Thanks for going along with my wack-a-doodle ideas. Here's to one more year of blogging insanity!

So thanks again all! And have a happy Thanksgiving!!!

Tuesday, November 24, 2009

Creepy Kitch's Saw Contest WINNERS!!


Stac and I finally were able to sit down and go over the entries for the Saw contest!

So without further ado...

In 3rd Place: The winner of a print of Cins two wacky sketches "Zombie in a Hamster Wheel" and "Jason Makes a Compost Heap" ...both which will look FAR better quality than those scans.

We Have A TIE!


for this twisted entry:

The victim would be in strapped down, except their arms. The person would have to unlock a 6 number lock right in front of them...that's all. BUT while trying to find out the lock, this machine is pulling off parts of their body. Starting with small parts like the toe nails and hair, to big parts like the nose, ears and so on, until they die of either blood loss,or just horrible horrible pain! If they do unlock the lock, they have to live the rest of their life without the limbs and parts they have lost.F-ed up... I know :]

Yup, we will agree with you...F-ed UP!

and Alex!

for making us laugh hard just for sending this short and sweet one:

You have to put on wet socks without complaining. Nobody likes wet socks.:)

I have put on wet socks...and its gross.

In Second Place: The winner of a piece of art work drawn by either Cins or Stac (your choice!) of a subject your choosing!


For sending in this great artistic rendering of his trap!

In case any explanation is needed... if she doesn't reach for that key and lose an ear or eye before the timer hits 0, then she might just regret that decision :)

Thanks for going the extra mile Mathew! We loved it! Contact us with which one of us Kitch Bitches you want for your art work!

And our First Place winner, winner of Your Choice of SAW movie on DVD. Is...


Melissa really gave this some thought, set up a great motive, and put in a little sense of irony in there that we admired.

My original SAW trap would be for a pharmacist who had replaced liquid medicine with sugar water in five bottles. He did this to sell the drug on the street, and his actions caused five children to die. My trap would have the man in a sealed room, with his foot inside a box containing a rattlesnake. After being bitten, the man would have to walk across a floor covered in broken glass, over to shelves holding hundreds of medicine bottles. Each bottle would have a number written on its label. The man would be told to find the bottle that had the number on it that equaled the amount of people he had harmed. That bottle would contain rattlesnake venom antidote. The pharmacist would hunt for the bottle with the number "5" on it. However, since each child who had died had many, many people around them who were also harmed by what he had done (suffering from their loss), the pharmacist would ultimately choose the wrong bottle. He would taste the sweet sugar water, and then die from the snake bite.

Melissa, you are a twisted woman. And the girls of Creepy Kitch SALUTE YOU!

So there you have it! The winners of the first official Creepy Kitch contest! Thanks to everyone who participated and to all who helped get the word out about our first contest.
All winners please contact me at edengarg (at) hotmail (dot) com with your mailing address. We'll get your prizes out after Thanksgiving!

Monday, November 23, 2009

So I FINALLY saw Paranormal Activity

...and I do believe I will never sleep again.

No fooling.

An old friend of mine texted me yesterday morning asking if I'd like to catch a showing of Paranormal Activity that night. I was really interested in the film after I saw the commercial for it on TV so I was up for it. Besides, its hard for me to actually see movies like this in the theater simply because my beloved husband, creep though be may be, refuses to watch movies about ghosts and spirits that look even remotely scary. Its his preference. I don't bug him about it since I have an aversion to watching documentaries on how one puts together an AK-47 or the history of cheese. Luckily our friend has my back in the world of haunting movies.

I was pretty skeptical going into it too. usually when a film gets hyped so much as "The scariest movie of the year!" or "Not since The Exorcist!" or what have you I snort and think "Yeah, right." Well this time I will have to agree with the reviewers. This movie is a pitch perfect example on how to build tension and terror.

In a nutshell, Paranormal Activity centers around a couple in San Diego who video tape the strange happenings in their house. And as the nights go on things get worse and worse and worse. Terror ensues. That's really all I want to mention about the plot because I found going into the film spoiler free makes the journey through the film all the better.

...but I will bring up some spoilers at the end of this.

I remember hearing a documentary on horror films defining the difference between horror and terror. Horror is the aftermath of something bad. Terror is the waiting for it. This movie is not a horror film. It is a terror film. The approach is simple and yes we have seen this all before. But its less about the subject matter and more about the execution that makes Paranormal Activity as frightening as it is. The film effects are simple. Noises here, movement there, and hints of very bad things along the way. That's really all you need for your imagination to fill in the rest. The film makers slowly gave you teaspoons of information as the film goes on. Things that you'd probably not think much of at first. But that information sits in the back of your mind and while the film unravels, that information comes back to haunt pun intended.

I also loved how our two lead characters, Katie and Micah looked like ordinary folk. neither of them were stick skinny, or super buff or hyper good looking. They both looked like someone you would bump into at the supermarket. For me, that normalcy took the protective fourth wall away and made the film feel real.

And at this moment that is all I can say about the movie without giving away any spoilers. I will discuss spoilers below because I have the undying need to do so! But if you have not seen Paranormal Activity yet I highly recommend going into it spoiler free.

So wait for the spoilers if you've seen the movie....

Until then enjoy this picture of zombies in a shopping mall.




All set now?

Okie Dokie then.

Things I noticed and loved about Paranormal Activity was how the film set you up for a pattern. you got you back ground information and character development in the day time shots, then you have your terror in the evening shots in the bedroom. Every time that camera was on the tripod and you saw that time counter in the corner you knew something bad was going to happen. When that pattern was broken, you knew the haunting/possession was getting worse.

I have to give a lot of credit to the actors (both who used their real names in this movie). Katie Featherson's wide eyed expressions and her bone chilling scream were amazing. Not to mention her motionless hovering over the bed and those devilish grins she'd give the camera when she became fully possessed by the demon sent chills down my back. I also have to say Micah Sloat did an excellent job coming across as the douchiest boyfriend ever.

I noticed people complaining that Micah was too much of a douche. But without him this film wouldn't have worked. This movie isn't just about a wacky demon coming to get'cha. This movie is about a very flawed relationship between a controlling man and a codependent woman. And you begin to see the cracks in their "perfect" relationship as the possession gets worse.

Micah drove the bus in this relationship. He wants to so desperately to be in control that he ultimately puts himself and Katie in danger all for the sake of his stubbornness. Yes Micah did everything wrong in this situation.Check Spelling He mocked, threatened, and tried to communicate with the demon despite everyone who told him not to. Why? Because he refused to give up control of the situation. In Micah's mind, he was right and not even the threat of losing his girlfriend could detour that. Did I want to beat him? Yes. If I was in that relationship I probably would have punched Micah in the face before seeking the nearest priest after the first door slam. But I am a different woman from Katie. Katie was so very codependent on Micah that she just couldn't muster up the courage to either leave or seek help on her own. They hinted at it in the beginning with how uncomfortable she was with the camera but grinning and bearing it because its what Micah wanted. Then it becomes the most obvious when, despite her anger with him for unapologetically bringing a Ouija board into the house, she still needs to curl up with him in bed. It made you want to shake her and it made the idea of the film progress in a believable manner without asking the age old question "why don't you get out and get help!?".

I'd say if there was one major flaw in the film, it would have to be the very quick flash of CGI at the end. While it didn't ruin the movie, I felt it wasn't necessary at all to make the movie any more scary. I would have preferred it if it went to black on Katie smiling at the screen as she hovered over Micah's body. But that is just a minor complaint. The movie was a fantastic nerve wracking watch that I am dying to see again.

I will definitely be picking this one up on DVD.

Wednesday, November 18, 2009

Filler Fun: Podcasts...I haz them.

Note: The Saw Contest winners announcement IS running a bit late due to the fact that Stac is in finals and I'm up to my neck in nerd activities (I was recently put on baronial court in the SCA.). So we will be announcing the winners hopefully by Friday. Thanks so much everyone for being such great sports and so patient!

But yeah, it looks like the Creepy Kitch Holiday Slump is about to set in for us. So we will be posting a bit slower (if that is possible) than usual.

But on a brighter note. Out first year Anniversary is ALSO coming up! WOO HOO! I can't believe our attention spans lasted this long!

A quick filler post from me...yet again. I was planning on posting my top ten Stephan King movies list today but then I realized I really should watch Needful Things one more time to make sure it was as interesting as I thought it was the first time....yeah its been a while.

So instead I'm posting links to the three following Podcasts I've been addicted to lately. Actually I'm sure one postcast most of you know of because I'm positive most of our readers were sent here from there.

You can find all of these awesome podcasts on iTunes.

1-Cadaver Lab Podcast

These guys are my favorite.

So I started listening to this Podcast after Stac sent me a txt saying "I sent an email to Cadaver Lab about my cooter and they read it!". So how could I POSSIBLY resist listening? After one episode? Oh yeah. Hooked. Cadaver Lab is a great movie review podcast by two guys, Mike and Sam, who obviously love the genre and are extremely knowledgeable in it. They do great themed shows like Giallo, Hellraiser, Lucci Films, and other fantastic topics. Many of the films they touch on are ones I've never heard of. Thanks to those fantastic fellas I have discovered some wonderful gems that otherwise would have flown under my radar. Plus they are hilarious. Many a time I have almost driven my car into a lamp post from laughing too hard from their antics...thanks guys.
Mike and Sam are the reason that I wish Creepy Kitch was a Podcast simply because both Stac and I came to the crashing conclusion that we are the female equivalents of Mike and Sam.

I bet you money that a cold chill has just run down the spines of those poor poor boys.

2-Night of the Living Podcast

Yet another one Stac threw at me I had to listen to. This is due to the fact that I had to know where the term "cunt vibe" came from....okay I'll admit its disturbing that two of the Podcasts I'm addicted to started with me wanting to know more about Stac's genitalia....Yeah.
Anyways, Night of the Living Podcast is a group of people who talk horror films and horror books. The reason I love it so much is the conversational tone reminds me of how my friends and I talk..
NOTLP has fantastic features such as the latest horror news, movie and book reviews, and my favorite Straight to Video Russian Roulette. They also occasionally review horror porn which is probably the most hilarious thing I have ever listen to. Their shows are constantly entertaining, and even if the subject gets boring, they never do (especially when someone starts pretending their finger is Queen Elizabeth).

3-Anything Ghost

FINALLY! A podcast that has ABSOLUTELY NOTHING to do with Stac's Vag! But Stac did point this one out to me as well so she is 3 for 3 on the good Podcast streak and 2 for 3 on the relating her vagina to said Podcast.

Moving on.

Anything Ghost is a completely different turn from the first two podcasts simply because its not movie related at all. The Podcast is hosted by Lex (who I found out is based in So Cal. Rock on!) who opens his podcast up as a forum for people to share their own personal ghost stories. Some are emailed to him and he reads them, some are recorded and sent in, and ALL of them are creepy. Lex's soothing voice makes the stories all the more chilling as he reads each one in a bedtime story manner. People from around the world send in their stories. And while some are just short and interesting, there are many that are truly terrifying. Lex also composed all the music provided on the Podcast which adds a lot to the atmosphere. If you're a ghost story junkie like me, Anything Ghost is a gold mine.

And those are my top favorite Podcasts! I highly recommend that you listen to all of them. Every one of these are fantastic and a ton of fun. They also invite participation, with Cadaver Lab and NOTLP having voice mail and Anything Ghost inviting you to share stories via email or MP3.

Definitely give them a whirl!

Tuesday, November 17, 2009

Insomniac Ramblings

I have three papers, two of them eight to twelve pages long, due by next week. A third is due tomorrow, but I think I must prostrate myself before my professor and plead for a stay of execution from my professor. As a result, I am stressed out to the point of skin destruction and sleep has become a fond, bleached-out memory.

So I figured I'd write a blog post! Priorities: I have them. I'm a member of, which is one of the best things on the internet, and as a result I am addicted to audio books. I got all of the Twilight books, a bunch of Christopher Moore, I'm working on Terry Pratchett now, and have been dabbling with a variety of other titles that have caught my eyes here and there. For example, The Exorcist as the original novel is waaaay scarier than the movie. Seriously.

Another title I got on a whim is Ghost Stories of an Antiquary, by M.R James. The M.R stands for what may be the most perfect name for an author ever: Montague Rhodes. Not shockingly, he was British. I am so doing that to my kids. He was a prominent literary figure, and regarded as very influential for popularizing the concept of a more realistic type of ghost story, dispensing with the high gothic tone that had previously been adopted.

He even looks like a Montague. Admit it, I'm right.

In terms of an audio book, this is a short one at only four hours and twenty two minutes. Hey, the Twilight books average out at around twenty hours each, and the Terry Pratchett novels average around ten hours. It's also not an interconnected novel, instead basically an anthology of ghost stories. On the whole, I really recommend this, especially if you like your ghost stories more subtle. These reminded me a lot of H.P Lovecraft though not as dense, not a total coincidence I'm sure since James and Lovecraft were contemporaries, sort of.

Like Lovecraft, James has noticeable themes, at least in this compilation. Most of the protagonists are ivory tower academic types who frequently have no idea what they've stumbled into, and strangely, there seemed to be a lot of disdain from strongly Protestant secondary characters aimed at Catholicism. Since the Reformation was about three hundred years prior to the setting of many of the stories, this is a touch weird.

Edward Gorey art work!! Delicious!

Over all I really recommend these stories, and am impressed with what he comes up with to use as representatives of the story's horror. It's usually something innocuous that takes on a decidedly sinister tone, like all good Victorian ghost stories should be. His works are way in the public domain, so I'm sure you can find websites with stories listed; give it a listen, and share what you think. NOW.

This is a bad way to wake up, I admit.

As for me, I'm off to drink my self to sleep.

My drink of choice in this instance is NyQuil.

I'll be chasing the Green Faery tonight!

Tuesday, November 10, 2009

10 Minutes of Terror - Scream

Aaaand Its BACK.

I recently saw Scream again on cable and I felt it REALLY needed to be included in 10 Minutes of Terror. I stayed away from Scream for a while considering the sequels were eh and its been so copied and over done that I got sick of it. Watching it again after keeping away for so many years made me realize that this film is really damn good. I remembered how much I liked it when I first saw it.

Granted, Scream has now become extremely cliche like just about any horror franchise (Nightmare, Friday the 13th, Saw, etc. etc.) But believe me when I say that when the movie came out, it was fresh and fantastic. Back in the oh so cynical 90's (ah, my generation!) the whole slasher in the woods scenario was tired out after countless sequels. The whole rise of the sexy "intellectual" thriller chiller genre was at its peak and was becoming REALLY over done (if I see Sharon Stone's ass ONE more time...). So when Scream came along my friends and I let out a collective "Hooray!" at the arrival.
Okay yeah, the concept of Scream wasn't what you'd call different but the execution of the film was. Here we had a horror film where the characters were smart and savvy about their situation. To me, this made the movie even more frightening. Even equipped with the knowledge of horror film lore these kids were still getting picked off one by one by one. Would us die hards stand a chance?...well...probably against Skeet Ulrich yes but thats not really the point I'm making. It was a slasher film made for a generation who grew up on slasher films.

And while it is now the most cliche part of all in the film, the opening sequence is still a pitch perfect delivery of a teenager in terror. Wes Craven created a masterwork scene of slasher heaven!

Here's the scene. Not embeddable though. DOH!

Go watch.
I shall wait here and enjoy my cookie.
Done? Okay. On we go.

When I first experienced this opening scene I was scared out of my gourd. I was scared enough to chew on my own knee. THAT is scared, people! To have a wet spot on one's knee from your own mouth is to know fear.
But lets take a closer look at the scene shall we?
Keep in mind this movie was made during the rise of the cellphone. Having a killer stalk someone using a cellphone was completely unheard of due to the fact that...well...there were no cell phones before then. Using this unexplored technology at the time was not only unique but added an extra note of terror. Something used for convenience could also be used to conveniently dispose of you. Many films after that has used this device since. Also, notice how the loudest sound during this scene is the phone ringing. The ringing goes from mundane to almost an alarm, jolting you every time the killer calls back. We also have a subtle use of color going on here. Our victim is in white or light tones with light blond hair painting us a picture of innocence. Meanwhile she is being stalked by a hooded figure all in black. Its costuming 101 but it works.

But I think what I loved so much was the use of setting for this scene. Putting lil Drew in a house that was mostly windows was a great idea. I'm a pretty paranoid woman. I tend to put shades on all my windows for fear that some lazy eyes psycho is going to be peering in on me while I watch TV. So before anything happened in this scene I was already paranoid. Windows EVERYWHERE and not a shade pulled down over one of them. One can't help but feel watched with all those windows looking out into the darkness. A good sturdy chair can break your barier and you are knife fodder.

Trust me when I say that this movie was something special when it came out. Was it the best horror film ever? Not compared to some. But it is extremely well made, it jump started the genre back into the mainstream, and its just plain fun to watch. Despite the cliches it harbors now, it really is worth checking out again.

Monday, November 9, 2009

Saw Contest Winners Will be Announced This Week!

I Promise this to yooooooou!

Stac and I are currently going over the entries and we will announce our winners but the end of this week. Just in time for my paycheck so I can go get the DVD!
I promise not to buy a previously viewed one...but I cannot promise I won't be picking it up from Walmart...just sayin'...I'm cheap. Thats what I'm just sayin'.

Anyways, We have not forgotten so stay tuned!!

Sunday, November 8, 2009

It's Still Orange and Purple and Black..

.. but red and green are starting to creep into the mix, I have to admit. A few of my Halloween votive holders (out all year) have Christmassy scents emanating from them. I have Christmas candy in my Halloween candy bowl-- I can't help it! Candy Cane Kisses are in stores! The best kind of kisses! It's all presided over by a witch, however. And two turkeys. We're into mixing the holidays at Chez Spooky.

One awesome thing about after Halloween is the sales (which crop up before the holiday is even dead, let alone cold-- at the local Fred Meyer's all the Halloween stuff had been booted out of the season aisles and basically parked in the middle of the walk way to the exit doors and marked down to 50% off. This was Halloween DAY. Holy crap, people! Stop getting your brotherhood all over my blood and cobwebs!). I got a great bat votive holder from Target for pennies, and a heavy, beaded spiderweb table runner that was originally $12.99 (and the reason I didn't buy it when I originally saw it) I got for $2.50 this weekend. HA! MINE!

Anyone else get any awesome deals whilst feasting on Halloween's corpse?

Of course, the joke's on everyone-- Halloween was ALWAYS a corpse, so when it lurches back to life to make nonbelievers scream, we'll all be ready for more orange and black!

Wednesday, November 4, 2009

Halloween Recap from Chez Spooky

Welcome to Chez Spooky! All I ask is.. YOUR SOUL! And that you use a fucking coaster on my coffee table.

Here's a quickie recap of Halloween from the Washington half of this devilish duo: I went trick or treating. And it was AWESOME!

Here are my pumpkins:

My loosely based on Jill Thompson's art work jack.

Cannibal pumpkin! He has acquired a taste for delicious, pumpkiny flesh! Incidentally that little guy was so damn hard I had to use my Dremel to carve him, seriously.

"Ph'nglui mglw'nafh Cthulhu R'lyeh wgah'nagl fhtagn!" Cthulu. He took many hours to carve, and my fngers have not yet forgiven me for that one.

A boy witch, a skull faced jazz zombie, and a werewolf, out questing for trouble! Our only appeasement: CANDY!

Unfortunately, you can't see how cool my top hat looked. I got a lot of compliments on it, and Cins got a great "how the fuck do I attach the lining?!" text from me.

Boy, nothing scarier than a digital camera and a mirror, huh? SPOOOOKY. Hey Cins, that ring look familiar?

It was cold and windy, with the leaves skittering down the walk, keeping time with us. The moon was full with whispy clouds, and flickering pumpkins everywhere. We kept an eye peeled for monsters, and saw some GREAT decorations-- my favorite was the ghoul-bedecked house that was covered in corpses, webs, and cheese clothe. The person who opened the door was a tiny old woman, who looked about 80. She LOVED our costumes, and we loved her house: a meeting of minds occurred!

Post pics and share stories of your Halloween!

Quicky Post: New Link!

Take a look over at our side board there on the right.

No, your OTHER right.

You'll see a new link, for the awesome Halloween/ Creepy blog site like l'il ol' us, called My Ghoul Friday. She's posted pictures from her Halloween theme used in decorating this year; I am SO using some of these ideas for next year!

My Ghoul Friday