Saturday, October 31, 2009

I've Lit My Black Candle..

.. to ward of any evil spirits roaming tonight, while reality is thin. My broom is over my door, and my pumpkin is full of candy. We trick-or-treated, we saw monsters, and we howled at the full moon.

Happy Halloween to you all, kiddies.

Image ganked from

Friday, October 30, 2009

The Convergence: Take Two

El Campo Santo Cemetery in Old Town, San Diego.

Cins knows how to read minds.

It's true, and vaguely hilarious, especially when I'm thinking about wang and she does it.

I had actually planned to post the same thing she did below, and then what do I see? Her post! I'm gonna start thinking filthy thought about Pinhead at her.

After we laughed over this bit of mental acuity I was encouraged to post my remembrances of the cemetery we went to this past July.

As mentioned below, Cins and I have been trying to go on the Ghosts and Graveyards tour through Old Town in San Diego. Every time we fail because someone on the other end fails to give us complete information; I think this is God's way of pointing out that we have more fun in a small numbers than the large groups could ever hope for. It's true, too: we almost got spanked once at Disneyland, and I'm not even kidding a little. (Please be patient; I'm typing this with a small black cat roaming my cleavage and purring. He is not like a window, despite what he may believe.)

So first we decided to go to the Creole Cafe, an AWESOME and authentic Creole restaurant that is literally in the backyard of the Whaley House, another of San Diego's haunted hot spot. It was a group of five: me, Tanya, Cins, Max, and Cap'n. After eating in a haunted dining room (which was awesome, by the way) Max and Cap'n held back whilst the fearless threesome headed off to this tiny Spanish cemetery Cins told us about, which my Google-fu tells me is named "El Campo Santo Cemetery", though we didn't know that at the time.

The New Orleans Creole Cafe in the Whaley House's backyard in Old Town, San Diego. Seriously some of the best food in California. Get the crawdad etouffee, and tell 'em we sent you!

It was a short walk, and we were all happy and joking as we proceeded, weaving to avoid the drunk tourists and giggling at some of Cins' stories of working in Old Town (for starters, you're apparently required by city ordinance to dress in period costume to work in Old Town. I love antique costuming, but I'd be pretty pissed off if I had to put on a bustle and crinoline to work at an ice cream parlor.) Then we walked into the cemetery, separated from the loud streets and packed sidewalks by nothing more than a low brick wall, not much more than waist high. By the time we entered the cemetery the sun had gone down completely.

Entering the cemetery was a whole different world, like a bubble of silence in the middle of the bustle and noise of Old Town, which is a very, very touristy area. I noticed several large bushes with glossy leaves, and I have a witch's nose and pull for herbs; to my delight I discovered it was rosemary, growing in the biggest bushes I had ever seen. This was exciting because my home is much further to the north; I have to bring in my rosemary in the autumn or it will die in the cold of winter. But in southern California it's frequently used as decorative planting because it thrives very nicely in the even, warm climate. As I was sniffing the plant (rosemary smells so good!) a thought popped into my head: "Rosemary is for remembrance.". They had planted rosemary in the cemetery to remember the dead here. For some reason I really, really felt that I needed a sprig of this rosemary to take with me; rosemary growing in a cemetery seems to me like an important thing, though I can't tell you why. So I asked permission to those who lingered, waited a moment and felt no negative emotions, and pulled off a small branch. I would absently smell it as we roamed the graveyard.

This graveyard was, for me, a very solemn place. It was fine at the front of the cemetery, next to the dividing wall, but the further back you went, the angrier I became; this graveyard was not maintained. It's a historic site, and it's falling apart. I was angry that no one cared that people slept here.

We all kind of wandered alone, but the graveyard is so small that no one was ever out of eyesight. I was excited to find the grave of Yankee Jim, a man convicted in a kangaroo court and hung in the yard that would in a few years become the Whaley House; Yankee Jim is said to be one of the house's many specters. Not only was he falsely convicted and murdered by a court of law, the person responsible for tying his noose fucked it up; instead of breaking his neck as it was intended to do, the noose was too long, and he was forced to choke to death with his toes brushing the ground. This man has several very legitimate reasons to haunt, in my opinion.
Yankee Jim's head marker.

It's an interesting cemetery as well because several of the area's founders are buried there; I'm a history major, so reading about the exploits and accomplishments of people who died a long time ago is interesting to me.

Then the tourists started to pour in, identified by colored glow in the dark bracelet to which haunted tour group they were with. I could have cheerfully slapped several of them. They were loud, they were rude, several were drunk, they proceeded to run around the tiny cemetery like someone had let all the damn spider monkeys out of the zoo and dropped them off here. Several of the grave sites have tall picket fences around them; I don't know why some have them and others are completely accessible, but apparently some of the assholes took that as a personal affront and tried to climb them. Let me repeat that for you: grown adults who presumably were raised with other humans and not in a fucking CAVE tried to climb over the fences surrounding actual graves. There are no words.
Does this even remotely resemble a jungle gym? I don't see it, personally.

To add to the stupidity, the cemetery is comprised of very fine, dusty earth; not a lot of grass in here, it's mostly bare dirt, like silt. It kicks up dust all over the place just by walking across it; race across it like you're on fire and it raises in clouds. People started to take pictures and excitedly claim that they had orbs in their pictures! Well no shit? It's called "dirt reflecting the flash", morons. If I sneeze and then immediately take a picture afterward I can see orbs; that means there's something in the air (in this case moisture), not that my nose is haunted.
Still not the playground at McDonald's. You can because there are fewer primary colors and more dead people. Plenty of clowns, though!

Around this time Cins stared to have camera troubles; she tried to snap a photo of a flower arrangement she liked on one of the exposed grave (not sure, but it might have been the little girl's grave? You remember, Cins?) and her camera failed. It actually turned itself off, despite the fact that it had fresh batteries, and was not a buggy camera. When she stepped away it would turn on obediently, but as soon as she approached that same grave it again shut down. She apologized and walked away, and had no further problems. She didn't try and photo that grave again; obviously someone didn't like it.

By now Max (or Mr. Cins, if you will), had joined us, which surprised me as Max isn't into the ghost thing like me, Tanya, and Cins. He wandered with us, and we all felt when the mood began to change in the cemetery. It got very despondent; Tanya came over and rejoined us; she had been off doing her own thing. The tourists thankfully shut the hell up, and shortly there after left in their groups. Several appeared nervous, and they all poured out of the graveyard in one amorphous rush. I was happy to see them go, their bracelets glowing like they were off to their Old Town rave by way of the dead.

Cins and I are an interesting inversion of each other; she attracts freaks but only when alive; I tend to experience the dead while I frighten the living. Works for me; the dead are usually quieter. I'm not saying I'm psychic or anything, but a friend of mine described me as a ghost magnet. All I know is that I pay attention to things, and I tend to listen hard to people I feel are upset. Max is aware of the restless dead, and was commenting to Cins about things. All I could feel was an increasing anger; anger that people thought it was okay to treat a cemetery with such disrespect, angry that no one was taking care of these graves, angry that people would use the popularity of the site to make money, but couldn't be assed to try and maintain the graves, many of which had no name on them anymore. Even more graves, especially to the back, were literally falling apart and being consumed; the wooden crosses have fallen over, and several of the grave sites are being swallowed by wild rose bushes.

We all of us began to feel a sense of despair, emanating from the back of the graveyard. I felt heart broken, and we all realized that the sensation seemed to be coming from one blank grave, almost completely engulfed by the rose bushes. I strongly felt like this sense of desolation, of hopelessness, like everything was horrible and I no longer had the strength to even rage at it. All I could do, I felt, was grieve.

I started to cry. Honest to God above, I have never had a reaction like that before. I tried to reign it in, because it felt like if I didn't control it, it would quickly turn into outright sobbing. We all stood around that grave, me, Tanya, Cins, Max, and just.. felt. All I can tell you is that to me it seemed to be a young Spanish woman, and she was heart broken over the same things that had been making me angry. Her grief was like the emotional equivalent of a wail, and we all felt it.

The rosemary in my hand felt heavy, and the hypocrisy of it was wrong. Rosemary is for remembrance. No one remembered or cared about these people. It was just a place that lured in the tourist dollar; who gave a fuck that people were sleeping here? Who gave a fuck if no one remembered their names? Who gave a fuck that some of them were heart-shatteringly young when they died, or were murdered, or died ill, or buried loved ones here and wept and wept and wept? No one. No one but us.

I did it because that was all I really could do at that time. I tore off part of the rosemary. I had a ribbon scrap in my pocket that I had stuffed there absently before I even left Washington. I wrapped it around the sprig and carefully teased a bow out of the snippet. I kissed the greenery, and balanced it carefully on the left side of the blank marker, no name to say who this had been. Rosemary is for remembrance. I would remember her, and I would ache for her. She was nameless to me, but not forgotten. Never, ever forgotten.

The mood lifted.

We walked once more around the cemetery, and the sadness had receded abruptly; it was a little melancholy, but on the whole peaceful. It's a beautiful, heart breaking place if you just hold still for a little bit and listen. There are children buried here, there are pioneers. There are wives and husbands, and loved ones and the murdered. But it is people, and I will always see it as such.

It was a wonderful experience, and one I'm grateful to have experienced. We walked back to the car, and just before we left I asked for permission to take a little more rosemary. No one seemed to mind, and it's hanging on the wall in my bedroom right now, tied with a red ribbon.

Thursday, October 29, 2009

The New Spooky Adventures of Stac and Cins!

Creepy Kitch's Halloween Saw Contest Ends Saturday! Hurry And Enter! Details can be found here!

This a post I meant to make waaaay back in the day after the Stac and Cins convergence happened. In the usual tradition, Stac and I planned to take the San Diego Ghosts and Gravestones Tour and as usual, the tour fucked up our reservations and we ended up getting no tour and $50 in the hole....until I reamed them over the phone to get our money back.

Its FATE I tell you!

God does NOT want us to go on that tour!

Undaunted and somewhat tipsy after a bottle of wine, we convinced my poor suffering serial killer husband to drive us and our friend Tanya out to Old Town San Diego to investigate the old grave yard which I don't believe officially has a name. But it is there and has been there for at least 100 years or so. I've only walked past it a couple times during my short time working in Old Town (selling theater tickets whilst wearing a smelly vest. GOOD TIMES!). Stac had no clue it was there. So I figured now was a time as good as any to check it out! So we headed on over.

If you've been reading this blog you probably know my now that Stac and I are very novice (and I mean NOVICE as in not even CLOSE to being a ghost hunter) ghost hunters. We like to go to reportedly haunted spots and take photos. About 99% of the time we end up with zilch (except for that one time). And with me being a supernatural black hole, our experiences tend to be pretty dull, consisting of Stac and I guessing what we might see...then nothing happening.

This was SO not the case this time.

We went on a Friday evening. Old Town is a hot place for tourists on Friday, especially during the summertime. The cemetery was pretty quiet though we we arrived. For the most part is was Tanya, Stac, and me. The hubby stayed behind at the restaurant to chat with some friends then caught up later. It was a peaceful place, though it was underlined with a bit of an eerie feeling. We took some photos and got some orbs but we didn't think much of them because of all the dust in the area. The three of us figured it would be a bust but at least it was pretty scenery and some interesting history.

I noticed one head stone had some sort of flower decoration on it. It didn't look too old and it was rather pretty so I snapped a photo of it, forgetting I had the flash on. Needless to say the picture came out like ass. So I tried again. Apparently someone else thought otherwise and just as I was about to take another photo my camera shut down completely. Weird. I checked the batteries before we left and my camera had no history of acting up before this moment. I switched it on and it appeared to be fine so I tried again. And poof, it shut down again. I had a feeling that something didn't want me taking that photo so I just stepped away and moved on. My camera worked fine the rest of the time we were there as long as I didn't take photos of that one headstone.

And that's when a gaggle of obnoxious tourists came barreling through. One set was being lead by the ghosts and gravestones tour (bastards!) and the others were drunk tourists being general douchcannoes. Maybe its just me, but I always felt that if you're in a place like a cemetery you should friggin' act with some goddamned decorum. Even if the place is over 100 years old....ESPECIALLY if the place is over 100 years old. Its just common courtesy even if most of the occupants are dead. Granted, taking photos of headstones to some is considered obnoxious so maybe I don't have room to talk. But behavior like jumping up and down on graves, pretending to be pissing on head stones, and yelling things like "OOOOH Scary Ghosts come and get meeeee!' seems to trump photo taking and tend to piss me off....a lot. And I don't think I was the only one getting pissed.

Stac, Tanya, and I were tending to ourselves, taking photos quietly and reading headstones while this was going on. Now this wasn't a dramatic moment. No doors were blown off hinges, no lighting from the sky, or anything of that nature. But it was a moment that hit the three of us pretty hard. We were suddenly hit with overwhelming feeling of anger and sadness. I'm sure part of it was my own hostilities towards dumb tourists. But there was no reason for me to be feeling that enraged before. Stac was hit was well but when we chatted about it later, she told me she felt horribly saddened by it all and had to step away to compose herself. I believe the tourists felt it too because as soon as I was overcome with these feelings, the tourists stopped their shenanigans and got quiet. I heard one mutter "We should" and they scattered out of there like their asses were on fire. The feelings went down considerably after the assbags left. But those feelings remained. I also noticed these feelings were strongest the further back we went in the cemetery.

Now this is going to sound cheesy. But I swear this is exactly what happened. Before we entered the cemetery, Stac picked a spring of rosemary on her way in. She was holding it during our adventures. I'm not sure what possessed her to do this but while the three of us were trying to muddle through the angry and sad vibes all around us, Stac took part of that rosemary, tied the bottom with a piece of ribbon she had in her pocket, and placed it on one of the graves. I don't remember what she said exactly but it was along the lines of sorry that happened and that the three of us don't mean any disrespect and we'll definitely remember this place. As soon as that happened, BOOM all the nasty vibes were gone and it was completely peaceful again. So whatever Stac did and said, it apparently did the trick.

We were quiet on the way back to my place but later on we discussed it. During that whole incident, my husband was hanging out on the side lines, watching in that adorably creepy way he does. My husband has a knack for reading the dead, much like I have the knack for getting certain vibes off people (usually weird people). He said that the whoevers/whatevers in that cemetery just wanted to be remembered and respected and haven't been for a long while what with all the tourists coming through. I really felt that Stac's words did give whoever/whatever was there some sort of solace.
There's a good chance that Stac and I will visit that place again. It just seems like the right thing.
Perhaps it was just one of those you had to be there stories. But it was definitely amongst one of the weirder ones in my life.

Tomorrow I will post pictures of the place as well. Its a really nice site.

Tuesday, October 27, 2009

A Halloween Intervention

I have to do this.

I didn't want to, but I had to. I have some friends making the claim below, and it's time to call them out. YOU KNOW WHO YOU ARE! I'm looking at YOU, R!

It is time for me to make an announcement, and it is this: Halloween 3: Season of the Witch is not now, nor has it ever been, a good movie. It is in fact, a BAD movie. Does that make it devoid of enjoyment? Hell naw! Some of my favorite movies could never in a million years be caled good; I am a connoisseur of celluloid cheese and gobble it frequently, I collect shite film the same way an oenophile collects vintage bottles.

It IS however an interesting idea, a hilarious watch, and enjoyable if for no reason beyond that always delectable Tom Atkins.

But good? It features anemic British robots barfing up frozen orange juice concentrate. This isn't The Exorcist, folks.

What the hell is that face from space up there supposed to be?

That being said, I would LOVE a poster of the above shot; that shot of the trick-or-treaters against the orange sky is straight up awesome.


Watch this. This is a happy song! You'll sing along! Right up to the part where you bore your ear canal out with a drill because you can't get that fuckin' tune out of your head!

Halloween Movie Madness! Week 8 -Drag Me to Hell

Creepy Kitch's Halloween Saw Contest Ends Saturday! Hurry And Enter! Details can be found here!

Warning...mild spoilers.

So I almost sat my ass down last night and typed up a review of Drag Me to Hell right after I watched it. Unfortunately my computer chair was pirated by my both my husband's best friend and my cat on two separate occasions so it had to wait until today.

So I'll admit it. I am pissed off that I did not go see this movie in the theater. I figured that most of what I was reading was hype so I was expecting this to be fun but not great. No great loss missing it theatrically. WRONG! This was hands down the best horror movie I've seen this year. Seriously. And perhaps I am about to wave my chicken shit flag really high right now but Drag Me to Hell genuinely scared me! Out of all the movies that could scare me, this one did it. Oh it made me laugh too but seriously...SERIOUSLY!!
I'm almost ashamed to admit that.
But obviously not that ashamed.

In a a nutshell: Drag Me to Hell is about a loan officer Christine, who is probably the nicest woman to walk the planet, who denies an old woman an extension on her home loan. Unfortunately this old lady is a Gypsy who apparently has friends in low places and puts a curse on Christine to be dragged to Hell by the demon Lamina...hence the title of the film. Awesome Sam Raimi antics and some really scary moments ensue!

This movie really got under my skin. REALLY (Imagine my surprise when I found out it was rated PG-13...though I did watch the unrated version). I work in customer service and I'm always on edge waiting for that OH so special person to come in and make my life a living Hell. There have been times when I'm called every name in the book for just doing my job. This movie was my worst nightmare. Now I won't defend Christine's choice in denying the gypsy woman her loan. Morally, doing everything she could to help the lady was the right choice. But unfortunately Christine was having a rough day and appeared to be quite the door mat. And she picked the wrong day to assert herself.

Story wise its pretty basic but what I loved was how Christine was established to be the nicest woman you could meet. This made her plight to save her soul even more agonizing to watch. And watching her cling to that humanity inside her while the demon rains its terror down was fascinating. Alison Lohman created a great character arc going from meek doormat to assertive bitch the worse her situation got. It was touching, heartbreaking, and hilarious.

But this didn't mean that the film was all serious. The movie was laced with signature Sam Raimi gore and gags which had me both jumping and screaming. It was very reminiscent of Evil Dead 2 but walked a more refined line of terror and gags without getting full out goofy and campy...too often. Also, any movie with a cackling evil goat is cinema gold for me. The gore was also very effective, creative, and CLOWNISH! WOO! And while I did see the end coming, it filled me with so much suspense and dread that I watched it with my jaw hanging open. The film remained dark but never overly so which worked. Sometimes films can get so bleak that you wonder "why am I watching this? Its hopeless!" Not this one. I kept second guessing myself and despite what my gut told me, I was still stunned to watch it all happen.

I absolutely loved this movie. Yes it freaked me out. Yes I had nightmares about being cursed (Only in my dreams the gypsy cursed me to live in the Alaskan tundra with no TV or Internet for the rest of my days). But I was blown away by this film. This ranks in my top films of the year and I am going to run out and buy it on bluray as soon as the paycheck comes rolling in.
So my recommendation? See this immediately! I don't endorse blind buying movies at all but this one would be worth it!

Monday, October 26, 2009

Group Sharing Time! - Halloween Candy...FOR THE GODS!

Creepy Kitch's Halloween Saw Contest Ends Saturday! Hurry And Enter! Details can be found here!

So here's a fun question to the masses around Halloween time.

What would you consider your Halloween Candy holy grail?

Every kid had one. The one piece of candy you would not trade ANYONE for, not even the pope (Well, if you were Catholic that is).

The obvious answer for me is anything full sized my ass! Gimme a full sized Hershey bar, dammit! I also had a weak spot for Reeses Peanut Butter Cups and Baby Ruths. Having a uterus makes one susceptible to chocolate. I also had and STILL HAVE an addiction to Smarties....seriously...I need to seek help for this. I pop those little sugary bastards like a raver pops x-tasy.

In turn, what was the candy you absolutely HATED to get? The candy you would beg for someone to take but they wouldn't because they know it tasted like popcorn shrimp and ass.

For me, Now and Laters. I bet you money I'll get flack about that too but I cannot stand those plastic tasting filling rippers! And for some reason I always ended up with a ass ton of them (that is an actual measurement. Its equivalent to a cooter quart). They still haunt me to this day. I find little Now and Laters everywhere still. I believe they are trying to end the world and only I know their they're coming for me first.

Also, Necowafers. Who thought that miniature disks of chalk would make a good candy?...because they don' all.

So lay it on me!

Best and worst candy of Halloween!

Sunday, October 25, 2009

Juuuust a reminder, Halloween Saw Contest End Saturday!

Because me posting it at the top of every post isn't enough.

Creepy Kitch's First Halloween Saw Contest is on!
Deadline to enter is October 31st at midnight (pacific time).

Click Here for Details!

We already have three great entries so far. We've LOVE to have more! So get those morbidly creative juices flowing!
You can email your entries to edengarg (at)!

Saturday, October 24, 2009

Freddy In Space's Trick or Treat for Unicef!

In case you missed it, Creepy Kitch is running a contest! Go here for more Details!

Johnny over at Freddy in Space has created a really great thing over at at his Blog. Its the Trick or Treat for Unicef campaign! I know I will be donating on my next paycheck!
Here's Johnny in his own words:

"Ya ever feel like you wanna make a difference, at least in some small tiny little way? Well I feel that way today and I feel like I just might be in a position to do so. Most of us may be too old to Trick or Treat For UNICEF, but we're never too old to lend a helping hand to those who need it, so i've decided to launch the first annual Freddy In Space Trick 'r Treat For UNICEF campaign and I need YOUR help!

For those that aren't aware or aren't located in the United States, Trick or Treat For UNICEF was started in the 1950's as a way to raise money for children in third world countries - so that they can eat and generally live their lives in a happy and healthy manner. To this day, little orange boxes are handed out to those trick or treaters who want to help out and they ask for small monetary donations at each house they trick or treat at, which is then donated directly to UNICEF. Simple enough, eh?

So what is Trick 'r Treat For UNICEF? It's essentially the same thing, except i'm obviously too old to go door to door asking for money - that'd be just a little suspicious. So what i'm instead going to do is simply ask you guys to donate whatever you can muster up by clicking the Sam button at the bottom of this post and at the end of October, I will send all of that money over to UNICEF. You have my word and if you need any proof that I really am giving it to them, I can get that for you. I'm not trying to bribe you here, but there's something in it for you, other than the feeling that comes with making a difference, to show my appreciation for those who help out....

The top three donaters - that is, the three people who donate the most money to the cause - will be sent Trick 'r Treat goodie bags filled with TrT swag, as outlined below.

The person who donates the most will receive a bag filled with Trick 'r Treat on DVD, the Trick 'r Treat soundtrack CD, and a Trick 'r Treat lenticular coaster from Comic Con.

The second place donater will receive a bag with the soundtrack CD and coaster.

And the person who donates the third highest amount of money will receive the bag and coaster.

All bags will also be filled with various other swag.

Huge thanks to Matt Verboys from La-La Land Records, who was awesome enough to donate the CD's for this cause. As for the DVD, I purchased that out of my own pocket to give to one of you guys for helping out. Believe me, if I could, i'd give Trick 'r Treat swag to each and every person who donates but I unfortunately cannot afford that. This is the best I can do and besides, you shouldn't be donating simply because you want free swag anyway.

I know money is tight for us all and asking you to donate your hard earned dollars is kind of asking a lot, but if every one of my readers donated a single quarter a piece, or even less, we could really make a difference here. Jen and myself have already donated $10 a piece, so we're already off to a solid $20 start. Every penny helps - please consider it.

I ask that if you have a horror blog or website of your own, please repost this on there to help spread the word and increase the exposure. Tweet it, post it on Facebook, help in any way that you can. It would be very much appreciated. If you want the HTML for the button so you can post it on your blog, let me know.

Click on Sam to donate. No amount is too small. If you do donate, please leave a comment below with the name and e-mail address you donated under, so I may contact you if you're one of the top donaters and also so I can thank you in my follow up post at the end of the month.

You will find this Sam donate button on the sidebar to your right throughout the month of October, for easy access. Huge thanks in advance to all who lend a helping hand."

Celebrate Halloween with the spirit of giving Treats! =D

Friday, October 23, 2009

Halloween Movie Madness! Week 7 - Zombieland

In case you missed it, Creepy Kitch is running a contest! Go here for more Details!

Holy Shit!
Am I ACTUALLY reviewing a movie I saw in the theater?
Did I actually CATCH a horror film IN the theater?!
This my a sign of the Apocalypse.

The hubby and I caught a showing of Zombieland last night. I've been chomping at the bit for this one since I saw the trailer online. and FINALLY we managed to get out and see it. I have to admit, this one is now in my top ten best zombie movies list.

A quick sum up: The movie follows a young man who goes by the nickname of Columbus. He explains to us his rules of staying alive. On his travels he meets up with the awesomely bad ass and wacky Tallahassee, the sexy and smart Wichita, and her scrappy little sister Little Rock. The team make their way across country to get to their destination, Pacific Playland in an attempt to recapture a time before the zombie Apocalypse. Great chases, an amazing cameo, and the search for Twinkies ensue.
As usual, there is SO much more to this movie than in my sum up.

The movie plays more as a character study film. The focus is mostly on Columbus, his growth as a character, and how he starts to open himself up to the other wacky people he is thrown together with. The real meat of the movie is the relationships these four start to build together. Its hilarious of course but Zombieland really surprised me with its depth, which made the comedy funnier and scares, scarier.
I've been noticing that many people compare Zombieland to Shaun of The Dead. I'm not sure why because other than the whole zombie factor, they are two completely different films. Shaun of the Dead has more in common with Romero films like Night of, Dawn of, and Land of. Its nihilistic in its comedy, has more of a beginning middle end sense of story, and of course, slow zombies. In that sense, Zombieland is closer related to 28 Days Later. It has a very optimistic message and the story concentrates more on the journey than the destination, and of course, zombies sprint like jack rabbits! This doesn't make it superior or worse than Shaun of the Dead but it certainly makes it different and it definitely stand on its own two legs.

Woody Harrelson stole the movie for me. He took what probably could have been an obnoxious scenery chewing character and played it straight. He gave Tallahassee a wonderful underlined humanity that would surface on occasion and even got me teary eyed at one point. This in turn made me love his bat shit crazy moments of zombie slaughter even more. I also want to give props to Abigail Breslin as Little Rock who never went into cute little kid or sassy tween actor territory in her performance. She was fantastic as a smart and resourceful twelve year old who was quickly aging beyond her years.

Zombieland has also one of the all time BEST cameos in a movie ever since Tom Cruise in Tropic Thunder. Seriously....I am so not giving this away because the cameo is so out of left field for this movie yet it seems to work so wonderfully with the style of script. If the rest of Zombieland was crappy, it would have been worth it just for that cameo. But luckily it was a great film all the way around.

So my recommendation? DEFINITELY see this one. Its one of those great horror comedies that even non horror/zombie fans can really enjoy and is even more enjoyable if you are a fan. I am planning on buying this one on bluray as soon as its out!

Thursday, October 22, 2009

Creepy Kitch's Halloween SAW Contest!!

Alright Bitches!
Enough of Stac and I sitting around feeling sorry for ourselves because we don't post as often as we should which is entirely our own fault!

Its Halloween!

Time to post some fucking Halloween Stuff!

I just had an espresso and a BRILLIANT idea!

What better way to celebrate Halloween than with an attempt to get GOODIES from us! Well mostly from me because Stac really has NO clue I was going to post this. But I'm sure Stac will have fun judging this.
Right Stac?

OKAY! Anways!!
Here's Creepy Kitch's first OFFICIAL contest!
I say first official contest because we did at two points have other contests. One was quickly won before we really went into it and the other no one really entered. Not that I blame them because the prize sucked ass for that second contest. And depending on your POV this prize might suck ass too but its a prize I'm willing to shell MONEY out for!

So here we go!

Creepy Kitch's First Ever Awesome Halloween SAW contest!

You mission, should you chose to accept it: Write up your own original SAW trap! It can be funny, scary, serious, what have you. But it can't be from the movies. Send your entries to edengarg (at) hotmail . com.

Guidelines: Nothing racist or homophobic or involving rape...we're sensitive flowers. Gore? Completely fine. Creativity? A Must. Foul Language? FUCK YEAH!

Deadline: October 31st (This Halloween!) You have until Midnight Pacific time to send in your entry!

And of course, the kicker:

1st Prize - Your Choice of SAW movie on DVD. Yup, Cins here will buy you your choice of SAW movie and send it to you. Because that's the kinda gal I am! (Blue Ray and collectors editions excluded because I still have house payments.;))
2nd Prize - A piece of art work drawn by either Cins or Stac (your choice!) of a subject your choosing! (Once again though, please don't request anything Racist, Homophobic, or Rape.)
3rd Prize - A print of Cins two wacky sketches "Zombie in a Hamster Wheel" and "Jason Makes a Compost Heap" ...both which will look FAR better quality than those scans.

The winner will be announced the first weekend of November in a rain of heart shapes confetti and flowers!...or we'll just post them up on the blog.
So go forth! Send us your entries! Or tell a friend about this and have them send in their entries!

Come on Folks..Its not everyday a redhead is willing to buy a stranger a DVD!

Wednesday, October 21, 2009

Bad Bloggers

So Cins and I suck, I admit. Haven't posted in almost a week, and Halloween is fast approaching. What can I say to exonerate myself? Life gets in the way, like it or not, and that is, I admit, a weak ass excuse.

At the moment however I am dog sick, and need to write more on my paper analyzing American foreign policy from 1890 to 1913. I have summed it up mostly as "we'd really like to have that island" but while I would get points for being succinct I don't think I could stretch that over four pages even with a large font.

So instead here I am on the blog; time well managed! At the moment I'm watching Casper: A Spirited New Beginning, from 1998. It is cheesy and silly, but I strangely love it; James Earl Jones is the big green baddie with Paulie Shore as his sniveling toady, Debbie Mazar, Rodney Dangerfield (who actually had a cameo in the theatrically released Casper movie released in 1995 as himself), and Steve Guttenberg as the main character's dad.

I have to say, I love Steve Guttenberg. He's been in a couple of the lower end straight to video holiday movies, and the guy never seems to phone it in, which gives said movies a strange charm. I thought of him when I was on the Tower of Terror at California Adventures, even as I screamed bloody murder. I have a love of cheese ball movies and as a result I will always love this man!

This is a really, really stupid post, I know. I'll apologize and blame this on cold medication and saturating my brain with the Spanish American War and the policies that led up to it. Teddy Roosevelt was quite dashing when he was young.


Saturday, October 17, 2009

A Fuckin' Glow Stick!

The Jack Chop, a Halloween parody of the Slap-Chop, as done by Adam Green of Hatchet fame! In 2:48 seconds you get pumpkins, f-bombs, and grievous bodily harm!

Friday, October 16, 2009

Life DID Exist Prior to 2000. I Swear.

I'm watching 13 Scarier Movie Moments on Bravo as I type this. This is a continuation, of course, of the Bravo's 100 Scary Movie Moments, which was awesome.

Apparently Bravo used ALL of the scary movies ever made prior to about 2000 in the original program, because so far the oldest movie shown is Frailty, an admittedly great movie that came out in 2001. Some of these choices are questionable, like Hostel 2 and Diary of the Dead. I don't really think those would be topping too many scariest movie lists out there.

I really liked the first Scariest Movie Moments, but the sequels have all been pretty weak; not a comprehensive list like the first one but instead seems like puppetry for various and sundry studios and movie makers to have a huge, self-congratulatory circle-jerk.

Okay, I'm wrong, they're doing Maniac now, and that came out in 1980. But over-all I'm feeling a scooch unimpressed.

Also, someone needs to give the narrator a lozenge. Or the Heimlich.

Tuesday, October 13, 2009

Halloween Movie Madness! Week 6 (CAUGHT UP!) - Dead Snow

So, I DID finally get to this damn movie last night.

And I squeezed it in right before Heroes.
DVR, you're awesome.

Dead Snow was recommended to me by Mike at The Cadaver Lab Podcast. I'm a huge zombie fan and I've only heard about this from a few blogger friends. All I knew was that it had zombie Nazis in it.
And honestly that's really all I need.
I'm a simple woman, with simple needs.

So in a nutshell: Dead Snow is about a group of med student friends who decide to vacation for the winter up in a secluded cabin in the mountains. Unfortunately, the entire area is full of Nazi zombies. Why Nazis? Well apparently during WWII Nazi soldiers occupied a small town until the town's folk drove them out by force up to that mountain side. I'm not sure WHAT turned them into zombies but I'm sure it wasn't pretty. Decapitations, gore, and a sex scene in an outhouse (AAAAAAHH!!) ensue.

I'll give you fair warning, Dead Snow starts out REALLY slow. There is a lot of set up getting into the film. We have our heroes settling in, playing winter sports and Twister, chatting each other up, having sex in an outhouse (UGGH! WHY?!), and finding out about the area's horrible past before we really get to the action. I tend to not mind long set ups for movies and I do like it when a film tries to create characters that are more than just gore fodder. But I do think some of the set up could have been cut. It started to drag a bit. But luckily, just when I was considering turning it off for a while to watch Heroes, Dead Snow starts moving like a freakin' freight train and I was glued to my TV. So stick with this movie, the payoff is great!

The zombies in Dead Snow were definitely not your typical zombies, fast or slow. Our zombie Nazi team lead by a creepy and non verbal Col. Herzog were agile, emotional, and very VERY intelligent. Zombies with motor skills are a terrifying thing indeed! Also, you could take one down with more than just a head shot which did give our human characters more of an even playing field. I'm not sure if you could call them zombies or just cursed because of these traits. But they did eat human flesh/brains. Its a discussion I will have to save for my other zombie enthusiast friends for another day.

The zombie fights were stellar! We had hammers, chainsaws, machine guns, and many other epic moments. They also did a few homage shots to Evil Dead while preparing for battle. While the movie was not what I would call a zom com, it did have some really hilarious moments and some amazing "AAAH! Right in the KISSER!" battles. And a bad ass sews up his own neck with a fishing hook and some duct tape. If that isn't balls, I'm not sure what is.

For zombie fans, this movie is worth the watch, even with the slow set up. It doesn't bring anything new to the genre but it is a lot of fun. Just hang in there through the game of Twister and the outhouse sex (WHO WOULD THINK THAT WAS A GOOD IDEA?!?!) and I assure you the payoff is nice.

Okay, I am caught up! And not a moment too soon! I'll be off to Las Vegas this week. AWWW Yeah. So play nice with Stac!...or actually..Stac, play nice with everyone!

Monday, October 12, 2009

Halloween Movie Madness! Week 5 - Hellraiser III: Hell on Earth

Okay, remember when I said I was going to review Dead Snow next?
Yeah, I lied.
TOTALLY lied to you all.
And I could give the lame reason of not knowing Dead Snow was subtitled and I couldn't watch it while cleaning the house.
I'll watch it tonight possibly after Heroes.
Yes, I watch Heroes. Don't you judge me!
Even if I am a liar.
Okay...feel free to judge me.

ANYWAYS instead, while I was doing a ton of stuff, I popped Hellraiser III: Hell on Earth in since its been sitting in its Netflix envelope for about four months now. I know *GASP* a massive fan of Sir Pinhead and I never saw Hellraiser III? Well actually I have but only from the middle on and years ago. So now was the time to sit down and watch it from beginning to end.

Recap Time! So pretty much this takes place a while after Hellraiser II. A sleezoid club owner has bought a really creepy piece of art containing very familiar faces (well familiar to those who've seen Hellraiser I and II). Meanwhile a reporter, Joey, has witness a bizarre death of a club goer at a hospital in that chains ripping flesh sort of way. She plans to get to the bottom of it with the help of Terri, a young woman who is dumber than a bag of hammers. This of course leads to the box, Pinhead in a block of resin, and lots and LOTS of bloody death.
I could go into it more but there's a lot going on in this movie to really try to recap in one small paragraph.

As a stand alone movie, Hellraiser III ain't half bad. Its an interesting plot, the visual are great, and the special effects are really well done. Not to mention the new cenobites are pretty fantastic looking even if a bit gimmicky. I also loved seeing Doug Bradley play Eliot Spencer who seems like quite a stand up guy...well compared to Pinhead he was a stand up guy. Getting some more back story on Pinhead before he was Pinhead was great. I also liked Joey as a heroine and found myself rooting for her much more often than the bad guys. If I did not see the first two Hellraiser films before this I'd probably think is was really great.
But unfortunately I HAVE seen the first two Hellraiser movies before this. And I'm a huge fan of Hellraiser I and II. So this movie is a bit of a redheaded stepchild for me.
Now don't get me wrong, its wasn't bad and I didn't hate it. But compared to the first two it felt very pedestrian. The first two were so epic and unique it makes this one come across as a typical horror film. The passion and twisted feelings were gone and were replaced with just more gore and sex. And while the sex scene was more graphic, it really didn't even compare to the freaky passion in the first movie between Julia and Frank (which when you think about it, didn't really show much at all) .

The big thing that bugged me was the portrayal of Pinhead in this one. One of the main things I loved about El point-o face-o in the first films was how cold he was. He menaced with a cool calculation of a general. I liked his detachment. Its what set him apart from icons like Freddy and Jason. And that is what he lacked in this version of the film. Pinhead was a wee bit too gleeful in this. He cackled, he mugged at the camera, and he attempted some one liners which just came off as lame. To be frank, they cheapened my beloved Pinhead. One can argue that the reason Pinhead was not himself in this film was because his Eliot side was separated from him. I suppose you could look at it that way. But I did not enjoy the cackling over emotional Pinhead and I longed to give him some Thorazine.

So overall? I would recommend Hellraiser III mostly to finish up the trilogy that Clive Barker had some involvement in (I'm not sure how involved with III he was though). Its a fun film. But don't expect it to have the creativity and wow factor of the first two.

Thursday, October 8, 2009

Halloween Movie Madness! Week 4 (finally) - Hatchet

See, I TOLD you I'd catch up.

So I finally managed to sit down and watch Hatchet. I've been reading about it periodically on blogs and hearing about it from various podcasts I listen to. Overall it has gotten a good rep. So I figured since this movie has been sitting in my Netflix instant cue for God knows how long, now is a good a time as any to watch it.

And it rocked.

In a nutshell: Our leading man was recently dumped by his girlfriend. In an attempt to cheer him up, his buddies take him to New Orleans during Mardi Gras thinking massive amounts of tit flashing will cheer him up. Instead, our hero rather go on a haunted swamp tour. An unfortunate chain of events (and many hilariously supporting characters along the way) leads the the tour to the house of Victor Crowley, a deformed and deranged hatchet wielding psycho. And the rest is slasher history.

Hatchet is one of those wonderful homage films to the 1980's slasher genre only it really gets it right by not trying to be ultra hip and trendy. Yes, its formulaic but it wouldn't be a good tribute if it wasn't. The makers of this film are obviously fans of the slasher genre and Hatchet is a love letter to the gems of the past. And while it does have some genuine scares, it plays as a tongue in cheek horror comedy that makes you both cringe and laugh. Hell, it even has appearances by Horror legends Tony Todd, Kane Hodder, and Robert Englund. My favorite being Tony Todd mainly because that man can STILL be sexy screaming obscenities in a creole accent and dressed like a mime on his wedding day...Oh and Kane Hodder is kind of adorable in that burly lumberjack sort of way when not in grotesque make-up .

My hormones are starting to take over this review. Lets move on.

What I loved so much about Hatchet was finally seeing a slasher film where all the characters are likable. In slashers you tend to secretly (or in some cases, not so secretly) root for our villain because lets face it, they can be charming and clown gore is awesome. Therefore most victims in slashers are nothing more than nerve grating two dimensional machete fodder. And while I'd hardly call the characters in Hatchet well rounded pieces of cinematic history, I liked them all and found each one entertaining in some way. And having that likability made the killings more gruesome and the chase scenes more intense.

Oh, and the clown gore. The glorious GLORIOUS clown gore!! I found myself more than once shouting "Oh my God! Did you SEE that?!" to absolutely no one in the room...unless you count my cat...and she wasn't there because she only watches John Carpenter horror movies. The effects were extremely well done and completely shocking. Much love goes out to the effects crew.

This movie also has one of the best insults ever. Now whenever some random chick gives me a hassle I'm going to tell her "Your nipples are dumb!". That will put her in her place.

So my overall impressions? This is really worth the watch. If you're a fan of the slasher genre and want to see a non pretentious fun film with awesome clown gore, definitely check out Hatchet.

And tomorrow I will post Week 5 - Dead Snow. WOOT!

Tuesday, October 6, 2009

Paranormal Activity and Stepfather...anyone hear of these?

I am seriously out of the loop. This really shouldn't come to a surprise to me or anyone else for that matter.

I spotted a TV bump about this film, Paranormal Activity and was curious.

Here is the Trailer:

And here is the TV bump I saw the other night:

Now, I'm a huge sucker for both ghost stories and for shakey cam style films. Hell, I even stay up late watching those crappy youtube videos that claim "OMFG! GHOST CAUGHT ON CAMERA!!11! Sooooo Srsly!". Most of the time they're lame but there's something about the quality of these youtube videos that always give me chills...until some little bastard stoner boy in a white sheet pops up. It was only a matter of time before someone took that concept and ran with it. So this looks like it has promise. But the marketing ploy of "demand to see it!" seems a bit gimmicky which sends up warning signals. Regardless, I am intrigued. My hopes are that this will be a film on par with [REC] though I don't think that could be possible (I'm a HUGE fan of [REC]). I'm really itching for a good ghost/haunted house film. I also found out that the movie is indeed playing in my area which makes me even MORE intrigued. The trick is finding someone to drag to see this thing.

And while we're on the note of things Cins has not heard of until now, did you know there was a Stepfather remake opening soon?

Here's the trailer:

I didn't hear of it until I, once again, saw a T.V bump on it. But also I didn't hear about the Children of the Corn Remake on SyFy...and I could barely slug my way through that stellar piece of non excitement.

Stepfather wasn't a huge slasher film to begin with. I doubt it would get the publicity that Nightmare on Elm Street, Friday the 13th, and Halloween have gotten with their remakes. But still, this does intrigue me and makes me wonder why it seemed to fly under the radar. Though to be honest it only intrigues me more to rent the original Stepfather and check that one out for no other reason than this remake is a PG-13er.

So...thoughts? Anyone hear of either of these movies?

Monday, October 5, 2009

Filler Fun with Cins!

Why yes, I AM a week behind on Halloween Movie Madness, why do you ask?
I will get back to it. I'll be doubling up this week. And boy do I have a bunch of stuff to watch including Dead Snow, Grace, Dead Girl, and Hatchet. It problem is sitting my ass down and WATCHING.
Well now I have a couch so it makes things easier.

Anyways, I felt it was a good time for some FILLER FUN! *now with retsin*.
Here are some awesome blogs to check out. I'm sure most of you folks know of these places but I felt it was worth mentioning.

Tower Farm Reviews
- I've recently been combing through Tower Farm like a barber addicted to crack. These fellas are hilarious! They review a wide range of horror and cult films. My favorite review so far is of Abby The blaxploitation Exorcist.

Fewdio - Fun Stuff! Drew Daywalt randomly added me to twitter one day and I've been checking out his short films he posts. This site is worth checking for Nightmare House. Wonderfully creepy short films folks! So if you have a moment to spare, check them out!

Kindertrama - As usual, I'm the last to know about most of these blogs but if I'm not the only one who recently stumbled upon Kindertrama (actually it wasn't that recent. Johnny from Freddy In Space linked up to it a while ago and I'm a shameless copy cat.), then go check them out! Kindertrama has tapped into things from my childhood fears at LEAST three times in the last month. I'm sure they will have things that scar you too. Fun Times!

And to continue making this post even more disjointed, some creepy fabulous shorts I found.


Never Woke Up

Next time substance... I promise....really....Don't look at me like that.

Sunday, October 4, 2009

Not a Good Idea?

I'm listening to the audiobook of The Exorcist, read by William Peter Blatty, the author.

This is some scary, scary shit.

Saturday, October 3, 2009


I just got back from Yakima, and my house looks like a giant, swollen pumpkin beast exploded and spewed festively spooky entrails all over my house.


As hallowed Halloween is fast coming, you have a mission, should you chose to accept it, and you will, because I still have those pictures of your mom with that yeti. And the Enquirer programmed into my phone. Your mission is this: GO SUPPORT INDY SELLERS.

A LOT of people are nice enough to provide services for those of us with a creepy bent, now go give them money in appreciation (if you can afford it. If you can't just go spread the word!)!

One of my favorites is Helena over at This woman is a master candler, and she is far and away a favorite shopping stop for both me and Cins. If she says her candle will smell a certain way it most assuredly will-- these candles have some of the richest scents I've ever encountered-- I think it's even more potent than yankee candles, personally. They're also incredibly long lasting if you burn them properly.

Plus she has spooky scents! My latest order from her included things like Coffin, Dark Carnival, and Bonfire! Plus they come in great colors-- orange, purple, and black, dark red, even hot pink! So go and give dark candles a little love, after all she "Provides Light for Those Who Prefer the Dark" (her mission statement), and if it doesn't say Dark Candles, it's not. She's had problems with impostors, so please remember that when you shop!

When I get my candles I'll share pics!