Sunday, August 30, 2009

10 minutes of Terror-The Thing

Its back! And its in a new form!
I've been wanting to go back to 10 Minutes of Terror for a while. But to be frank, I ran out of good opening scenes I wanted to talk about. So I figured I'd expand 10 Minutes of Terror to include horror sequences I just damn well love.
This gives me more stuff to find on youtube too.
This also means there will be spoilers. So Beware. BEWARE!!!!

Anyways, I figured I'd start the ball rolling with a scene from one of my all time favorite horror flicks, John Carpenter's The Thing.

If you have not seen The Thing, go rent The Thing....right now. Seriously. Go put it on your Netflix and watch ASAP. I believe The Thing is one of the best monster movies ever made. Its text book perfection in gore and paranoia. In fact, its the paranoia part that gets to me more than the gore part.

A quick synopsis; A group of scientists working in the Antarctic encounter a really REALLY fucked up shape shifting life form. It gets lose in their facilities and pretty much all Hell brakes lose. The thing hides itself amongst the scientists and soon you're not sure who is really who they say they are. Paranoia, accusations, Wilford Brimley, and some of the most creative and gory monster scene's ensue.

One of my all time favorite moments in The Thing is the blood testing scene. Kurt Russel's character, MacReady decides to take matters into his own hands after they lost members of their team to the thing in gruesome ways. He finds a way to test everyone's blood in order to see who is human and who is not.
Let's watch, shall we?

What I love so much about this scene was how wonderfully tense it all begins. The shots on everyone are tight and unrelenting. The pacing is slow. The sound is silent with the exception of some incidental noise and their heavy breathing. Also, no one really blinks in this scene which makes it even more tense for me. I found myself holding my breath through the whole beginning.
Then BAM! All hell breaks lose, the monster is on the ceiling, and before you know it, Window's is getting his face chomped. I also love the moment where the chairs lift up and the other team mates are screaming and desperately trying to get away a monster that could slide down the chairs and onto their tied up bodies. Its like the movie embodied my feelings of sitting next to the crazy homeless guy on the train and put it on the screen.
I would like to point out, The Thing was made way WAY before CGI. And the special effects still stand the test of time. That thing is terrifying! I'm sure some men could argue its scary because it looks like a giant Vagina Dentata on legs, and well I will admit, that is pretty terrifying. But still, its puppetry, make up, and animatronics at its finest. If they do a remake, I can't even imagine how a CGI monster could be as scary as this.

There are many other wonderful scenes in The Thing, namely the one where the severed head sprouts legs and walks off. Its very classic John Carpenter and a gem of a film.
Check it out!
Also, if you have any films to recommend for 10 Minutes of Terror, opening sequences or otherwise, lay em on me!

Mommy Wants!!

I would so use this as my reading light. I'd go blind, but it would be worth it!

How damn cool is this?? I entered thinking ti as just a sculpture, but it turn out it LIGHTS UP too?? EXCELLENT! Rush over and join the contest while you can! Then, when you win, give it to ME!

Friday, August 28, 2009

Jane Austin Does Dead Folk

Rawr rawr rawr! Rawr. *munch munch* Rawr.

I finished Pride and Prejudice and Zombies some time ago, and decided, compliments of an irritating person I know, to post my review here. This is a person who routinely proves herself a moron; she read part of this book and panned it, and since she irritates the FUCK out of me I decided to post my opinions of the story. I feel slightly more qualified to do so since A. I like zombies, B. I love Jane Austin, and C. I actually read the entire fucking book.

First off, I enjoy Jane Austin; I read the original version of this tale of my own volition several years ago. This is still that book, but with some scenes changed and some new ones added. Mostly of people "politely vomiting into their hands" and brain chomping.

It was fucking aces.

We are here to dance and to whup ass. And our dance cards have all been filled!

This is still a comedy of manners, as is the original story; if you hate Jane Austin you will not like this book. I personally find the hair-pullingly stringent rules for manners hilarious in conjunction with dealing with the undead; it's impolite to show ankle, but what about when you're beheading the flesh-chomping menace at a country assembly? Enter the Bennet sisters, ass-kickers extraordinaire and sisters in need of rich husbands.

There is still the love story between Elizabeth Bennet and Mr Fitzwilliam Darcy (I know, isn't that an awesomely horrible first name? No wonder he went by Mr. the whole story.) with some hilarious changes. Mr. Darcy actually proposes to Elizabeth Bennet twice; she refuses him the first time because he basically says "Hey, I know your family is awful and horrible, but despite the fact that I'm a better person that all of you, let's get hitched!" Not surprisingly Miss Bennet tells Fitz where to put it. However, in this version she says no by roundhouse kicking him into the fire place mantel, chipping the marble as well as Mr. Darcy's skull. It was AWESOME. It's even funnier when I picture the cast from the 1995 BBC miniseries; Jennifer Ehle kicking the crap out of Colin Firth will make me laugh, every time!

Another hilarious bit is a take on the novel's classic battle of wills between Elizabeth and Lady Catherine de Burgh; this time there are ninjas involved. And the eating of a heart, but not by a zombie. I enjoyed both equally!

True love and ass-kicking: all any woman wants in life.

Eventually Elizabeth and Mr. Darcy find happiness and are united; the more despicable characters in the book definitely get theirs, which is EXCELLENT as they escape mostly unscathed in the original. Mr. Wickham, your basic pig, runs off with Lydia, Elizabeth's sister, in both versions. In this version however, he is caught by Mr. Darcy, forced to marry Lydia, and then has every bone in his body broken, rendering him a bed-ridden invalid for the rest of his life. As he's a prick I was very happy to see him get his comeuppance. Incidentally, in the picture above the zombies are attacking cauliflower; they think they are brains, and it easy to use the veggie as bait. But you have to admit, those moldering relics from hell look cute as the dickens eating those starch loads!

Over all, I loved this book. It's funny, still has the romance of the original, and is illustrated, as I have demonstrated above. For me, Regency England mixed with martial arts and the walking dead is an irresistible combination; it's so silly it borders on DaDaism, and God above knows that I am a walking receptacle of the silly.

Yes, before you ask, I AM going to read Sense and Sensibility and Sea Monsters when it comes out.

Wednesday, August 26, 2009

Cins Adventures in Fan Girling

I am back from Con! And I'm now sporting a fashionable head cold!
Mucus. All the cool people are wearing it now, you know.

Anyways, I am only posting here at the moment to show something of awesome magnitude.

For I taken a photo with Keith f'ing David!

He's on the right...just in case you're wondering...
Check Spelling
I'm the little white girl in the middle. The lady on the left there is my friend Trishana. For those who may not remember who Keith David is, he is in two of my favorite John Carpenter films. The Thing (Childs) and They Live (Frank).

Keith as Childs

Keith as Frank...Best fight scene EVAR.

He is also the voice of Goliath on Disney's Gargoyles. Keith is awesome. Pure concentrated awesome. Seriously. Hell, he took time out of his day to take a photo with a crazy fan girl for god's sake! Yes, that crazy fan girl was me...
Keith David, you have won my awesome award.

I also got a picture with Phil LaMar who is a gentleman who loves to hug... And kept making me laugh during the photo.

Phil is on the left...once again, in case you're wondering.

He was a regular on Mad TV and played Marvin in Pulp Fiction. A small role before he got his face shot off. LOVE THIS GUY! Seriously. An extremely nice man. If you see him? give him a thumbs up.

Phil as Marvin. Emote Phil! Emote like the WIND!

Okay, I'm done fan girling. I'll post something with substance shortly, including introducing you to an up and coming vampire film that looks insanely AWESOME.

Until then...I have to blow my nose...a lot.

Monday, August 24, 2009

Red Leaves and Chilly Nights..

I love and hate this time of year. I love it because autumn is hovering juuust around the bend, and you can feel Halloween's orange black starting to lightly color the edges of each day. The Dollar Store already has Halloween tchotchkes out, no doubt painted lovingly in lead, and if you look you can see Halloween candy starting to ooze into the holiday sections of a lot of grocery stores.

I hate this time of year because I want to start wearing long pants and hoodies, and when if I'm stupid enough to do so, I promptly burst into flames. But it's lovely and cool at night, and that makes it a hell of a lot easier to sleep.

This is a really, really boring article. You know what? I'm just gonna end it with one pertinent point: Mike over at the Cadaver lab sent Cins and I both a copy of Death Bed. Expect pain and a review, probably at the same time!

Now for some real horror, here's a picture of an ad for an escort service I found in my local phone book. Small town my ass!

I know, it's a shite picture. What looks perfectly fine on my cell phone's 2x3 inch screen translates differently on a computer monitor. But the number's still readable if you're looking for "exotic entertainment".

Thursday, August 20, 2009

Some Litreechoor

The Harlot's House

We caught the tread of dancing feet,
We loitered down the mooonlit street,
And stopped beneath the Harlot's House.

Inside, above the din and fray,
we heard the loud musicians play,
the 'Treues Liebes Herz' of Strauss.

Like strange mechanical grotesques,
Making fantastic arabesques,
The shadows raced across the blind.

We watched the ghostly dancers spin,
to sound of horn and violin,
Like the black leaves wheeling in the wind.

Like wire-pulled automatons,
Slim silhouetted skeletons,
went sidling through the slow quadrille.

Then took eachother by the hand,
And danced a statley saraband;
Their laughter echoed thin and shrill.

Sometimes a clock-work puppet pressed,
A phantom lover to her breast,
Sometimes they seemed to try and sing,

Sometimes a horrible Marionette
Came out, and smoked its cigarette
Upon the steps like a live thing.

Then turning to my love I said,
'The dead are dancing with the dead,
the dust is whirling with the dust.'

But she, she heard the violin,
And left my side, and entered in;
Love passed into the house of Lust.

Then suddenly the tune went false,
The dancers wearied of the waltz,
The shadows ceased to wheel and whirl,

And down the long and silent street,
The dawn with silver-sandalled feet,
Crept like a frightened girl.
-- Oscar Wilde

More Time To Vote!

Hey Folks!
Cins here will be going out of town to participate in Gathering of the Gargoyles. I'll be pimpin' my art and running the art room. If you're in the area, drop in to say hello!

But since I will be out of town until next week, you have more time to vote in our latest Monsters Vs Madmen! WOO! Lucky you!

Its Candyman vs Severen. If you haven't voted, vote now! The winner will be announced next week when I'm back.

Until then, Stac is in charge....and if she tells you to put on the clown suit and dance, you damn well better put on that clown suit and dance.

Wednesday, August 19, 2009

Hail to the QUEEN Bitches!!

Because its Stac's Birthday, Damnit!
So lets all wish our favorite sadistic, Perv-o witch a happy day of birthing!

Love you, you sexy bitch you!!

Tuesday, August 18, 2009

My Horrible Secret.

I have a horrible confession to make.
Brace yourself.
I had never seen A Nightmare on Elm Street until about three days ago.
You can start throwing tomatoes at me any moment now.
Now I have seen the sequels. But the original Nightmare?
Never have.
You may ask "Why? Why Cins?! Why are you such a travesty to have NOT seen this classic until three days ago? What the HELL is wrong with you!?!?!"
There is one reason and one reason ONLY why I have never seen the Original Nightmare.
And its this gentleman right here.

Freddy Krueger.
That is a horror villain that scares me more than if Pinhead, Jason, and Micheal Myers decided to start a football team and I was their ball girl. And because of this irrational fear I had as a child, I could not bring myself to watch the first Nightmare movie for years. The sequels? Well they were fun over the top insanity that I could easily separate myself from. But the first? Yeah...not so much.
You see, when I was a kid, my older sister went to see the first Nightmare on Elm Street. I was young and chicken shit and steered clear of movies of the horror kind. And yet, my older sister felt the need to tell me about the entire movie IN GREAT DETAIL because it would be funny. Needless to say, my child like imagination managed to take every scene she told me about and magnify it about %150. So yeah...terror inducing visuals soon followed me to my child slumber. I really do believe my insomnia stems from this moment.
No worries. I am getting my revenge on my sister by teaching my 1 year old nephew how to say "Mommy has thunder thighs".

Freddy is a scary mother fucker! I'm a 33 year old adult and I still worry about having nightmares about this man because who KNOWS what will happen then! My imagination is ruthless. I really don't know what sort of anal bowels of Freddy Hell I may end up in. I mean Jason and Micheal Myers will just kill you. Freddy, much like Pinhead, will destroy you and take you to eternal torment...just because the fucker can. Freddy scared me enough that it conditioned my brain to NEVER dream about him ever. As a little girl I would lay awake at night, covered clutched up to my chin as I chanted "Don't dream about Freddy don't dream about Freddy don't dream about Freddy". And I do believe it has worked.
Instead I dream about zombies.
Fair Trade.
But I did suck up my extremely...EXTREMELY retarded fear and popped in Nightmare on Elm Street. I bought it on DVD at Target and damn it, I was going to watch it!
Is it still scary?
Oh Hell yes it is.
While I don't think it tapped into that primal fear that my childish imagination did, it still is pretty damn creepy and screwed up. The first scene alone with Tina doing ceiling acrobatics is terrifying. And serious Freddy? Still damn scary. Since I watched the sequels first I was more used to freaky funny Freddy. And while I do prefer funny Freddy simply because he is more sadistic, serious Freddy is pretty fucked up.
The good part about this? I have not died in my sleep yet. But then I am not a teenager so I'm sure that makes a difference in who Freddy wants to murder.

But that is my deep dark horrible secret.
Please respect me in the morning.

Monday, August 17, 2009

Spooky Loot

It is soon to by my natal day, and I got an AWESOME gift from my older sister, Mags. She's a Stampin' It Up seller, so a few months ago I whined to her about having no Halloween stamps, which stunned both of us.

She came to visit this weekend, and came bearing loot! Behold my AWESOME goodies! The stamp set is called "From the Tomb", and totally looks like stuff out of the Haunted Mansion! Big sis may not understand why I love all things macabre, but she accepts that I do, and that it part of what makes her an awesome sibling. She got me a whole ton of Halloweeny goodness!

Stamp pads, needed to, of course, stamp. The colors are basic black and pumpkin pie, how appropriate!

Check out this awesome paper-- it's also two sided, which makes it even cooler. I have everything from pumpkins to crows and about three different ranges of skull in between!

Skulls and bats. If I had enough I would seriously wall paper my room with these.

Look at my pumpkins! LOOK AT THEM!

So far this is my favorite stamp! You can't see it too well in this picture, but the skull is surrounded by bats, ghosts, grave markers, crows, and a jack-o-lantern.

This one's more abstract, but there are bats and spiders entwined through out, REALLY looking like some of the wall paper designs in the House that Gracey Built.

Spider. I'm going to stamp this on everyone's hair. In orange. Then watch them slap themselves after I tell them that they've got a spider on 'em.

A bat. The bat will eat the spider. Or help it mine for delicious brain meats.

This is my birthday loot! Do you care? Probably not. Is this exceedingly girlie? Yes, but frequently so am I (I'm wearing gold eye liner, for crap's sake). But it is SO cool that I had to share!

And I had to gloat! Because my big sister is cooler than yours! HA!

District 9...I actually really liked it!

I know I know, technically District 9 is not a horror film. Its SciFi. Very well done SciFi with some really great gore, but not horror. Regardless, I felt the need to comment on it simply because it has been the best movie I've seen all summer. Granted, most of the summer films for me have me Meh at best. But District 9? Fantastic.
I won't give any spoilers since I feel that experiencing the movie with knowing very little about it is what makes it so good. But if I do give out a little squeak here and there, forgive me. I'll do my best to keep my damn mouth shut. But I do have a lot to say about this movie...probably not intelligently but I DO have a lot to say.

Shot in a sudo documentary style, District 9 is basically about aliens getting stranded on earth over Johannesburg 20 years ago. These aliens aka prawns become refugees and the organization MNU attempt to be the ones to take care of them. "Taking care of them" is used VERY loosely because the Aliens are treated as second class citizens, live in slums, and are subjected to some horrible things.I truly believe that if this film was set anywhere other than South Africa it would have come off as completely absurd. The setting is what makes the film work. The whole story is heavily symbolic of apartheid and it does not treat the subject with kid gloves. There was many a scene in District 9 that truly got under my skin, the weapons testing scene in particular. Racism (or in this case species-ism?), torture, and human (alien?) rights are strong themes through out the film and the director does not candy coat anything to make it more "action-y" or "summer film" style. Its a gritty, hard, and sometimes bleak film.

The movie starts out like a documentary, the back story told to the audience by witnesses of the "incident" that happened in District 9. The film later slips into a more traditional film narrative but continues to keep the documentary feel with its camera work. The transitions were done extremely smooth and half the time I didn't even notice the style jump. But despite the heavy subject matter the action sequences are fantastic. After we are given a detailed account of where the aliens came from and what District 9 is, It jumps right into the heart of the story. Once the action starts it never slows down. The movie is relentless and down right brutal at times earning its R rating. The CGI is flawless. And I mean that in every sense of the word. The Aliens never look rubbery or pasted on. They are extremely realistic down to the subtle emotions they show on their faces. The giant mother ship that hovers in the background looks completely believable. So much so that you sometimes forget its even there. District 9 also has some of the best mecha animation I have seen in any film....and using the word mecha has completely shown my nerd status... For you gore hounds, let me just say, when someone goes down, the go down in a splattering Technicolor dream. Its brutal, I tell you! But it never goes into the realm of clown gore.

If you're planning on District 9 being a popcorn flick, think again. This really is nothing like the usual summer fare (Transformers 2, G.I Joe, Harry Potter, etc). Not that I have anything against popcorn films. I tend to thrive off them. But it was nice to go into a film that made you think and feel more than just the usual "Awww Shit! Awesome!" that many popcorn flicks do. District 9 is far more complex and asks more questions than answers them. And it does so in an intelligent, non-pretentious way that doesn't insult its audience. It also leaves the ending open for questions instead of a sequel. I'm sure there will be fans out there clamoring for a sequel. But I truly hope they never make one simply because I feel tying up the lose ends will cheapen the meaning of District 9.

So my recommendation? Go see it! Now! Pronto! And on the big screen if possible too! It is definitely worth the ticket price!

Wednesday, August 12, 2009

Monsters Vs Madmen- Round 6!

Oh My God.

It is a sad sad day in Cins house...

You Killed Pinhead! You Bastards!

I am COMPLETELY shocked. I mean it was one hell of a close vote but WOW. There is MUCH love for the Candyman out there!
But I do have to admit, it was a hard choice, even for me.

On to Round Six!

So even I will say this is a weird pairing. But I am trying this one because I figured another supernatural being does have to go against another supernatural being.
That and I'll admit, both of them are crazy...yet strangely hot...bastards

Our current winner, Candyman from the Candyman movies


Severen from Near Dark!

Now if you have NOT seen Near Dark....why the hell not?
Its is my absolutely favorite vampire film. And Severen here? Total unapologetic undead fuckwad. But I LOVE that unapologetic undead fuckwad almost as much as Candyman! This is Bill Paxton at his best. He needs to play assholes more often.

Here they are in Action.
(Unfortunately these great scenes didn't allow embedding but they are worth the click of a link!)

Candyman iz in ur office killin ur therapist're SUCH a fuckwad.

The winner will be announced Next Week!!


Monday, August 10, 2009

Discussion Time! "People Are Strange..."

I always like trying to open up discussions on the blog here. Honestly, the best stories I hear tend to come from horror fans. Maybe its the ability to see past the norm. Maybe its because we all see the macabre in the mundane....maybe its because we're all sick sons of bitches...
I'm betting on the third.
Regardless, I hear some of the best stories on horror blogs and horror forums.So I decided to open the flood gates today and talk about "Weird People". And I'm sure all of us have had our encounters with them. Now far be it from me to judge what is weird and what is not. I'm hardly the epitome of normalcy here. And I'm pretty tolerant of the strange an unusual. I grew up in the San Fransisco area where the guy with twenty neck piercings was a buddy of mine. But there are those people, those "weird people" who even set my teeth on edge and make me wonder what exactly goes on in their basement. That one person who won't stop staring at you or telling you at great length about their stabbing bunnies in the throat hobby.

So the question to the masses is; what was your encounter with a "weird person"?

I have had several.

As I stated many entries ago, there's a vast difference between what weirdness Stac attracts and what weirdness I attract. While Stac seems to attract supernatural forces such as ghosts, I do not. I'm actually a supernatural black hole of boring. This is because the spirit world thinks I'm dull and annoying I'm sure. So if you do have a haunting issue just invite me in your house a few days. Chances are any spirits you have will leave for more exciting venues after a weekend with me.
In exchange for this gift of supernatural negating, I have become fly paper for freaks. Living, breathing, freaks. I think its a pheromone I let off. And frankly, I rather have the supernatural on my tail because living people tend to scare me more. My freak magnet developed right around puberty much like heroes in novels, movies, and comic books who develop their mutant power. I really believe that this "power" is directly related to breast growth rate. So at one time, I was a sweet young innocent lady. But my freak magnet over the years has turned me into a smart mouthed mistrusting bitch hag....well actually not really ONLY my freak magnet but it would make a good back story for a comic, wouldn't it?
But enough about my scientific theories. On to the freak show!

As an adult I've learned to accept the magnet and live with it. My poker face is impeccable. Ask Stac. She has witnessed the poker face on several occasions. This comes in handy at work. My job is more or less receptionist with many other little tasks involved. I sit at a large desk in a huge lobby and I greet people, answer phones, sell tickets, collect packages, etc. etc. We do have security...which is nowhere near my desk so a girl has to be resourceful (I.E. pepper spray in the top drawer). I work in a up scale area so the majority of the people I deal with are rich folks with LOTS of entitlement issues. But every once in a while I get a gem or two.

Case 1: Cult Lady
Cult Lady was briefly mentioned in my entry about Carrie. She started out normal enough. A small framed woman with frizzy hair and big eyes. She asked for some info and admission prices which I cheerfully told her about. She attempted to convince me to give her free admission because "It was the right thing to do". But I told her not a snowball's chance in Hell in the most diplomatic way possible. She backed off after a while but remained in the lobby staring at me with those big eyes. those big CRAZY eyes. I could feel them boring into my skull as this way too wide smile practically split her face in two. I ignored her for the most part. After about 10 minutes she came up to my desk to let me know that I must have a kind soul and kind souls should be rewarded. I just sort of blinked and responded with the ever eloquent "...kay?" She then proceeded to whip out a DVD from her purse, hands trembling and place it in my own, her crazy eyes all a glow with excitement and glee. And in a low shaking voice she muttered...
"You will watch this. Watch this and it will CHANGE your life! And soon you will be wanting to join me and my friends!"
I was expecting her to cackle manically afterwards but she just turned and skipped on out. I placed the DVD in a drawer afraid it would emit cosmic zombie cult waves at me. And there it stayed for about a week or two. Flash forward. My co worker who takes over on the weekends said that a guest with frizzy hair and crazy eyes came by a couple times looking for me. Apparently Cult Lady dropped by work more than once to talk to me again. And for two weeks I managed to avoid her. But she did finally catch me. All smiles she approached the desk and eagerly asked
"So, did you watch it? Are you ready? Are you ready to come with us?"
I blinked then smiled one of those smiles that don't quite touch the eyes and replied 'I'm sorry, I'm just not interested. But thank you for the offer"...on the inside I was screaming "FUCK OFF CRAZY CULT LADY! OH GOD DON"T TOUCH ME WITH YOUR CREEPY COSMIC WAVES! AHHHH!"
Cult Lady frowned and demanded I give her the DVD back. She had other people to brain wash. Unfortunately one of my co-workers found it and shipped it off to lost and found aka no man's land. I really thought Cult Lady was going to dive over the desk and bite a chunk out of my neck. Instead she just walked off. This happened about a year ago, but I'm waiting for her to come back.

Case 2: Painting Guy
This is a shorter story but one that is weird none the less. Painting Guy has also become a regular occurrence at my place of work popping up right around the beginning of the holidays. He's like the ground hog. Painter Guy is here, winter must be coming. Painter Guy is a huge hulking figure of a man. He walks hunched over and has blond hair fashioned into a bowl cut. I think he has an under bite. I never got THAT good of a look at him. At the beginning of the Holiday season, Painter Guy appears like a homeless homicidal Santa. He walks up and down the block in front of our establishment with a HUGE painting under his arm. And he paces the front of the building for about an hour or two holding this giant painting up. Now this painting looks like something that would come from a prison art therapy session. Its yellow and splattered with red and comprised of screaming faces in agony all rather primitively painted. The painting looks like how one would feel after a car wreck or if you were a mentally disturbed eight year old child. Maybe that's what the painting is about? I don't know. I never asked. He never comes into the building. Occasionally he'll stop at the window by my desk and stare at me for a minute or two, holding the screaming painting of evil in front of him like a warning...or a beacon. I used to ignore him but now I just smile and wave. Because after I acknowledge him, he moves away from the window and goes back to pacing. At one time security went out to him just to ask what he may need. His response was "I'M LEAVING YOU FASCIST MOTHER FUCKERS! BUT I'LL BE BACK!"
Painting Guy is the soul reason I bring a camera to work everyday. I'm really hoping to catch him on film. Unfortunately its like trying to get a photo of Bigfoot or a UFO.

So there are a few encounters of mine. What about you?Please share....I don't want to be the only freak magnet on the interwebs.

Friday, August 7, 2009

"Howard Meets Phillip At A Weird Kinda Angle.."

Over the past few days I have acquired a new obsession; the audio output done by Julie Hoverson and her crew of misfits over at 19 Nocturne Boulevard. I was expecting it to be a fun concept with perhaps an okay delivery, kinda like listening to old radio programs from the 1930's. Julie, I have wronged you and am here to officially apologize, because all of the crew at the boulevard rock it, BIG TIME. I downloaded a cross section of Nocturne catalogue, and today went and downloaded all the rest.

The gist of this show is a that it is a series of weird tales that all occur at 19 Nocturne Boulevard. It might be a retelling of The Canterville Ghost, or an H.P Lovecraft tale. It might be something original to Julie and her crew, but it's ALL great, and I really, really recommend this show for people who like quirky and creepy on their iPod or mp3 player of choice.

My personal favorites so far include The Temple, originally a Lovecraft short that I read fairly recently for the first time; Scrumping the Devil, which features possibly the most foul mouthed old bitch on earth and the model for my future behavior; and my top favorite Cry Wolf, which is a noir, private dick take on faery tales. The two investigators happen to be Beauty and the Beast, and they're looking into the death of The Big, Bad Wolf, who may not have been as guilty as his crimes suggest.

Awesome stuff, give it a listen over at:

Tuesday, August 4, 2009

Vote or DIE!!!

Or maybe just have some cake.
Vote or Cake?

Anyways, Don't forget to cast your vote in the latest Monsters vs Madmen!

Candyman Vs Pinhead!

Come on Clive Barker fans! Don't let me down!

Sunday, August 2, 2009

Carrie Lets The Bitches Have It!

Okay, being both female and a huge nerd I have a soft spot for the movie Carrie. I just re-watched it the other day and I forgot how much I love it. I love everything from Piper Laurie's over the top warbling "THEY'RE ALL GONNA LAUGH AT YOU!" to the extremely dates 70's styles, to the split screen shots of the carnage.
Yeah its pretty over the top and its also extremely dated. I mean have you SEEN the hair in that movie? More white guy Afros than you can shake a pick at! Not to mention Piper Laurie chews the scenery like a rabid beaver. But Sissy Spacek's performance was so vulnerable and so raw that I felt for her. And honestly? I can't picture anyone but Piper Laurie as Mrs. White. That over the top madness is what made that woman truly terrifying.

"Momma only wants to comfort you...with this knife."

I work with the public. I have encountered MANY a Mrs. White in my day. Piper Laurie's performance is pretty damn spot on. She's like the one woman who came into my place of work and left me a DVD of her cult leader's diatribe to listen to. Then she came BACK to my place of work four weeks later to see if I was ready to join the fold.
When I said no I had to give her the DVD back.
talk about a cheap cult leader.
But I digress.

There's something extremely fulfilling about the movie. I'm pretty sure I'm not the only nerd in the horror community and I'm positive I'm not the only nerd on the interwebs. Yet I never had a Hellish high school experience. Actually high school wasn't half bad for me. I was a reasonably socially accepted gal. I had my small circle of pals. Overall? High school was just kind of there for me. Yet I get this overwhelming feeling of satisfaction when Creepy Carrie goes all wall eyed on the cool kids and sets them a blaze.

Yeah....we've all been there.

I think everyone of us has a bit of Carrie in them....okay that sounded dirty.
I mean to say that we all have that insecure awkward part of us that is terrified that everyone IS gonna laugh at us. And we all have that part of us that wants to turn them all into over cooked ballpark franks when they do. Obviously we don't because we're mildly socially adjusted and know that setting people on fire is bad. But dammit, there are days.

By the way. There is a musical version of Carrie. Seriously.

Oh, you thought I was kidding?!

It played on Broadway for about seven days back in the 80's and is known as the biggest Broadway flop in history. I researched this show feverishly back in college. One of my prize possessions is a bootleg audio tape copy of a performance.
There is a kill the pig ballet.
Don't believe me? Here's the actual moment from the show.

Don't ask me silly questions like why is everyone costumed for gay porn, why they're leaping across a flaming pit, and why there are no pigs. This Is ART!!!
And here's some reviews!

Bastards don't know what they're talking about.
I would given a toe to have seen it on stage.
There REALLY needs to be more rock horror musicals.

I recommend to any gal who is enjoying the horror genre to check out the original Carrie if they haven't. And if you're a musical theater geek like me, hunt down clips of the musical on youtube.

Carrie needs a hug...and therapy. But honestly? I probably wouldn't have stopped her from setting Chris Hargensen on fire.
The bitch had it coming.

Saturday, August 1, 2009


This is fro one of my all time favorite movies and if you can get you win.. I dunno. Something. I'll draw you a picture or make you a bracelet or something. Just let me know.

First person to get it in the replies wins! No cheating either, fuckers! Draw from your own knowledge, not that of Google or IMDB.

"How come you guys only come around when you need a ride someplace?"
"'Cause you're one spooky motherfucker, man."


EDIT: Congrats to zombiestomper who got it right! WOOHOO! *throws bloo--er, confetti*