Monday, March 15, 2010

Monsters Vs Madmen. Round 8!

Once again...I am stunned.

You Killed Severen?!

I am at a loss for words...I'm also surprised by the amount of Marlow fans who read this blog. But bravo Senor Pointy Mouth! You have lived to fight another round!

Now you are going up against the strong but silent supernatural type.

Monsters Vs Madmen Round 8 we have:

Marlow from 30 Days of Night


Mahogany from Midnight Meat Train!

For those who still have yet to see Midnight Meat Train go rent Its friggin' awesome.

Lets see them both in un-embeddable action.

Mahogany has a typical evening at work

Marlow has mad people skillz.

Vote Now! We'll announce the winner next week and the winner will go off to the winner's circle to await the Battle Royal!




Stac said...

I still need to see Midnight Meat Train. In that pic what's his nuts looks like Luke Wilson. If he starts lecturing me because I use Verizon I'm gonna ding kick him.

Wanna push The Experiment back to Thursday?

MW said...

In this situation, I have to give it up for the more ruthless Mahogany.

Marlow talks you to death before killing you... Mahogany just puts his meat tenderizer to its proper use, and doesn't ask questions first.

Cins said...

Stac>>Get to your Netflix and watch Midnight Meat Train! Its a great Clive Barker Slasher! You get gooey things, a scary guy, and vague homosexual overtones. It ROCKS!
And Thursday is a good night for "experimenting" *rubs hands together menacingly*.

jenn_dorris said...

Vinnie Jones will ALWAYS have a piece of my heart. Mahogony is the sick, sadistic, maniacal maniac that I love! He's Leatherface with a meat tenderizer. Totaly hot!! If you have not seen Midnight Meat Train... DO IT NOW!!! Even Bradley Cooper takes a back seat to his more comical side to step into the sick mind of Clive Barker. Okay... I'm going off on a tangent. As much as I liked Marlow, he doesn't hold a candle to Mahogony. Maybe when he starts knocking eye balls on the floor with hammers... I'll think twice. But until then.....

Nojh said...

Wow. I totally didn't know a movie like Midnight Meat Train existed. Vinnie Jones as a horror villian? Its like the role he was meant to play. Well other than an alternative league of football where there are no rules on brutality...

But we're not here to discuss him are we. We're here to discuss the well dressed man with a meat tenderizer and a meat hook, and see how he matches up to the most animalistic, yet refined, vampire monster around.

So where to start? Fashion sense?

Mahogany brings it with style. Nice suit, tie, clean crisp, fits him well. Somehow still manages to show that he has more muscle in his arms than you do in your entire body...

Marlow was definitely /trying/ to bring it but somewhere along the way he got accosted by a bear or something! Completely disheveled. Its almost like he doesn't really care how people look at him. No pride in his work. On top of this Mahogany at least has the sense to avoid the blood of his victims after killing them. Marlow, you wear it like its some sort of trophy. I mean, honestly, who wears blood after Labor Day/Night anyway?

Fashion: Mahogany


You may be asking yourself. Nojh? What does a name have to do with two horror villains manging to kick each other's butts? And I'll answer your question with a question: Whats in a name? To which you'll respond something about roses and then Mahogany will bash your brains out.

I mean Mahogany? A type of wood? Seriously? More associated with polished furniture like a desk or bed frame. "Oh no honey! The furniture is coming to tenderize me!" does that strike fear into you?

Marlow on the other hand. Two syllables. While it means nothing in particular, we have 'mar' like to mess up, which Marlow will definitely do to you. And 'low' where you're going to be emotionally, physically, and mentally after Marlow messes you up! It says it all!

Name: Marlow

But of course whats a horror villian without super powers? A serial killer. But thats beside the point.

Marlow. You got the super strength (I mean that guy had to be at least 300 lbs!) and you can take a bullet wound to the gut and just get a little angry. Plus you seem to be able to use your finger nails and mouth to act like some sort of record player... dunno how useful that is in slaughtering and maiming but I bet that helps with your awesome DJ skills huh?

Mahogany on the other hand has a meat tenderize that CAN BREAK THE LAWS OF PHYSICS! Yes my friend, he can hit you with a meat tenderizer and make the physical bonds that hold your eye nerves to your brain dissolve so that the force of the impact to the back of your head will cause them to go flying /out/ of your head. Not only that but with two swings of said hammer, it can neatly decapitate a woman's head as if you had used some sort of sword or hacksaw!

And while that is not as cool as being able to take a bullet to the chest, we have to add that somehow Mahogany can get onto a moving train! Yes my friends that is teleportation. Maybe not as cool as Nightcrawler's but damn close.

Super Powers: Mahogany

Okay but what about posse? Marlow can scream up his entire clan of vampires with the use of one record. What can Mahogany do? Well it takes Marlow and one of his posse to take down two Alaskan rednecks with guns. Mahogany on the other hand can take down two business men and one screaming lady without help with anything but his trusted meat tenderizer.

Plus with teleportation powers, something tells me that Mahogany wouldn't even be /caught/ by Marlow's posse. Even if he did, all he'd have to do was to hit one 'em with his hammer and cause the vampire's teeth to go shooting out of their mouth and into the eyes of all the other posse and bang around inside their brains, leaving just him and Marlow to face off. I mean it breaks the laws of physics, Jim!

Posse Fight: Mahogany

I think we have a consensus here folk! Mahogany can total kick Marlow's ass.


Cins said...

Nojh> You are aware that the main reason I keep mVm a feature is for your posts, right?

Nojh said...

Little old me?

Apparently blogger has instituted a post limit of about 3900 characters cause I hit it. I actually had to edit out sections. :(

I admit I do have a lot of fun with this segment.

Plus you keep introducing me to all these cool characters! Its awesome!

Bonehand said...

I always thought the actor who played Marlow was weak sauce, so I gotta go with Mahogany, based purely on the sheer badassedness of Vinnie Jones. I mean, he knocked Ted Raimi's EYE OUT OF HIS FREAKIN' SKULL! 'Nuff said.