Monday, May 11, 2009

I Love John Carpenter Men

Okay, disclaimer time....
I'm working on little sleep and I'm feeling incoherent. So this is going to be REALLY unfocused.
REALLY unfocused.

There is your warning.

So without further ado.
I really love John Carpenter movies.
And I'm not just saying that because of Halloween. Not that Halloween isn't awesome. Its a classic, a staple in the horror genre, and imitated but every other horror film out there. Yes Halloween is awesome.
But My love for John Carpenter started with his other films. Films like The Thing, Big Trouble in Little China, Vampires, and They Live are the films where I developed my love of his work....well okay, its where I developed a love of his male characters.
Of course, my favorite films of his are probably the most macho ones he's made. Which makes me completely fascinated by his most macho males. If you've been reading this blog you've known by now that I'm a lady who loves her ladies tough. And lets face it, most of his females are not very strong. Actually most of them are whiny, whorish, both, or not even present in the film. But that's neither here nor there. I actually love Carpenter men because of the machismo. There's something about a buffed up blustering guy sporting a mullet that is extremely entertaining to me. Hypnotic as well.
No, its not the mullet.
I think the reason the overblown testosterone works for me with his movies is that the characters are both charming and almost borderline parody. Jack Burton in Big Trouble in Little China is so hilariously inept that his bad ass boasting is completely charming to me. Maybe I have a crush on Jack Burton? Yeah, probably.
Its not the mullet though. I swear to God its not.

Its not the jeans tucked into the boots look he's sporting either.

In Vampires, Carpenter created a character that even made James Woods a sexy bastard. Seriously. In any other movie I see James Woods and think "Oh hey, James Woods. He's a great actor." which is in no way a lustful thought. But when watching Vampires I only thought "Must lick Jack Crow!" In big block letters in my head.
Seriously. Hot Liquid Sex.

John Carpenter created a character that even made James Friggin' Woods sexy to me.
The man is a wizard!

And don't get me started on Keith David. Seriously. I'm already a huge fan of the cartoon Gargoyles. (Big enough fan that I staff a Gargoyles convention... Don't Judge Me!). Keith David never looked, acted, or sounded more appealing in both The Thing and They Live. Double for They Live.

Even when surly looking.

So my love of these guys are quite the paradox in my head. In real life I would meet these guys and cause them some sort of bodily harm after about two minutes of conversation. In other films I would tear my hair out and scream "DIE ALREADY!!!" at the movie scream. But John Carpenter manages to write these characters into awesome, bad ass, fun, and fascinating fellas. And I really can't get enough of 'em.
I can't be alone in this can I?
Well most of the followers are men so I may well possibly be.

Also, did you ever notice that the Masculinity in his movies almost boarder lines on homoerotic?
Just me? on.


Stac said...

I can totally see the homoeroticism-- esp. in The Thing and They Live. Bromances, both.

I freaking LOVE Jack Burton, but that's largely because of how much Kurt Russel reminds me of my older brother. They don't really look alike, but they both have intensely blue eyes, a bull dog jaw, and sound the same when talking. That made Death Proof a scooch chilling for me. ;)

Vampires was awesome in an awesome broth, no doubt about it. Have you read the book? It's REALLY good.

Stac said...

And Keith David?

Totally n my list of people I would love to have talk dirty to me.

Cins said...

*L* The men have major bromance and seem to be trapped in the 80's Even when made in the present day. Total 80s.
Have you seen Prince of Darkness? There is something VERY homoerotic about the main hero. I think its his facial hair. Not sure.

I met Keith David in person. I was totally star struck. He sounds like that in real life. Its not some voice he puts on. Very nice guy, totally kind and extremely fascinating....I'm sure he thought I was out of my mind.

Mike aka Dietrich said...

Don't forget about Roddy Piper in 'They Live'. That movie has one of the greatest (and longest) fights I've ever seen!! I met Rowdy Roddy at Comic-Con one year, and he was awesome. Told my brother and I he would love to go downtown and get drunk with us. Aaaah, that would be great. I told him he was the Robert Mitchum of wrestling. Anyway, cool blog!

Stac said...

Thanks Mike, aka Dietrich! We're glad to have you here!