Tuesday, August 18, 2009

My Horrible Secret.

I have a horrible confession to make.
Brace yourself.
I had never seen A Nightmare on Elm Street until about three days ago.
You can start throwing tomatoes at me any moment now.
Now I have seen the sequels. But the original Nightmare?
Never have.
You may ask "Why? Why Cins?! Why are you such a travesty to have NOT seen this classic until three days ago? What the HELL is wrong with you!?!?!"
There is one reason and one reason ONLY why I have never seen the Original Nightmare.
And its this gentleman right here.

Freddy Krueger.
That is a horror villain that scares me more than if Pinhead, Jason, and Micheal Myers decided to start a football team and I was their ball girl. And because of this irrational fear I had as a child, I could not bring myself to watch the first Nightmare movie for years. The sequels? Well they were fun over the top insanity that I could easily separate myself from. But the first? Yeah...not so much.
You see, when I was a kid, my older sister went to see the first Nightmare on Elm Street. I was young and chicken shit and steered clear of movies of the horror kind. And yet, my older sister felt the need to tell me about the entire movie IN GREAT DETAIL because it would be funny. Needless to say, my child like imagination managed to take every scene she told me about and magnify it about %150. So yeah...terror inducing visuals soon followed me to my child slumber. I really do believe my insomnia stems from this moment.
No worries. I am getting my revenge on my sister by teaching my 1 year old nephew how to say "Mommy has thunder thighs".

Freddy is a scary mother fucker! I'm a 33 year old adult and I still worry about having nightmares about this man because who KNOWS what will happen then! My imagination is ruthless. I really don't know what sort of anal bowels of Freddy Hell I may end up in. I mean Jason and Micheal Myers will just kill you. Freddy, much like Pinhead, will destroy you and take you to eternal torment...just because the fucker can. Freddy scared me enough that it conditioned my brain to NEVER dream about him ever. As a little girl I would lay awake at night, covered clutched up to my chin as I chanted "Don't dream about Freddy don't dream about Freddy don't dream about Freddy". And I do believe it has worked.
Instead I dream about zombies.
Fair Trade.
But I did suck up my extremely...EXTREMELY retarded fear and popped in Nightmare on Elm Street. I bought it on DVD at Target and damn it, I was going to watch it!
Is it still scary?
Oh Hell yes it is.
While I don't think it tapped into that primal fear that my childish imagination did, it still is pretty damn creepy and screwed up. The first scene alone with Tina doing ceiling acrobatics is terrifying. And serious Freddy? Still damn scary. Since I watched the sequels first I was more used to freaky funny Freddy. And while I do prefer funny Freddy simply because he is more sadistic, serious Freddy is pretty fucked up.
The good part about this? I have not died in my sleep yet. But then I am not a teenager so I'm sure that makes a difference in who Freddy wants to murder.

But that is my deep dark horrible secret.
Please respect me in the morning.


Stac said...

.. why did we not rectify this while I was there?

I too was terrified of Freddy. But unlike you, I DID dream about him. He usually was appointed my legal guardian and then would send into the basement where the razor blade roller coaster awaited me. I am not even kidding a little. Had dreams about him for YEARS.

Now I root for the morbid fucker.

Nojh said...

Hmmm... now that you've mentioned it, I'm not sure I've seen the original either. I've definitely seen the sequels. But then, we've all discovered that I definitely have not seen a lot of the classics. I do remember the sequels, over the top gore and blood. They definitely gave me nightmares as a kid but I also loved it. I'd re-watch the movies just so I could not watch the same scenes over and over.

I don't really remember having specific nightmares about Freddy though... hmm. I do remember his claws in my dreams, but I'm pretty sure I was the one wielding them, not him...

And really? Razor blade rolelr coaster? *shivers*

Stac said...

Nojh: oh yeah. Rickety, sharp, and fast, everyones favorite combinations.

Check out the original though, it's really, really good. I didn't see it until I was about 21, personally.

zombiestomper said...

Freddy never really got to me becuase I've always been able to control my dreams and I firgured I could get him into the real world and my dad would shoot him. Now I would just get him into the real world and shoot him my dad could shoot him too if he wanted too. Hell we could have a Freddy shooting party and everyone could come shoot him. Now Leatherface always got to me becuase that could happen. Now I have Leahterface tattoed on my leg.